brok up and i am broken now

I had a boyfriend of almost 2 years we were in love but my mental health was keeping him from achieving things and everything got complicated. He left me promising we will meet again after a year. I am not even sure if I am going to be alive after a year but he took care of me at my worst and somehow i feel i am in the worst place then what i was in before. His love helped me i feel lonely. Sometimes i question the reason to live. I was asulted and he helped me come out of the nightmare. I feel unworthy of love and support because i feel like i will drive anyone away who will try. I am too broke to afford medicine for my anxiety and depression have several other health problems and honestly feel like maybe i will do a favour to the world if i pass away. He was so strong and tried so hard that maybe he couldn't anymore and had to leave. I was given a name sunshine but honestly I am so broken that i can't remember how to smile anymore. I think of him everyday trying to approach him i thought talking to friends might help but all of them are annoyed by me talking about him at all. I use to self harm buthe stoped me and now i falling in the spiral again. I know i can't cut because it will hurt people but i hate the pain i am having my chest hurts my body hurts my mind never stop

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stefan

I don't think you should be involving so much in post relationship phase when that person has already wasted you time enough, who is that person to validate you if you're worthy of love or not, you decide what you deserve in life budd not the person who doesn't even value, pick yourself up, and decide what you want for yourself and don't let the world decide it for you

vansh

Hey I completely understand you and yes losing the one person that was with you through the ups and down is very tough.

I know Cuz even the thought of losing my partner scares the shit out of me ,so I cannot even imagine what u r going through but i want you to believe in him and yes he will come back for toh of he will live you and I know that your journey without him will be tough but you are way tougher ma'am and I know that it will get lonely sometimes but we ve got you ,just text us and i/we will always be here for you when needed and you can always talk to us and please don't get into the cycle of harming yourself bcoz you will lose on all the progress that you made in the previous year and just hold onto the good moments that you guys shared together ,it will help you .you are the greatest

Pls tc

shanaya

I understand you but I will suggest you to see a doctor, there are some who'll work for free, and might find ways to cure you without medicine

crap_bag

Author

@shanaya i couldn't find any doctors.

crap_bag

Author

@vansh thank you so much. It means a lot

crap_bag

Author

@crap_bag how can I contact you?

Edited

crap_bag

Author

@shanaya can you tell me about this please i am getting in worst place now

shanaya

@crap_bag well I'll suggest try seeking online

There are people who do free consultancy

You need to find them

The one's available around you