I had a boyfriend of almost 2 years we were in love but my mental health was keeping him from achieving things and everything got complicated. He left me promising we will meet again after a year. I am not even sure if I am going to be alive after a year but he took care of me at my worst and somehow i feel i am in the worst place then what i was in before. His love helped me i feel lonely. Sometimes i question the reason to live. I was asulted and he helped me come out of the nightmare. I feel unworthy of love and support because i feel like i will drive anyone away who will try. I am too broke to afford medicine for my anxiety and depression have several other health problems and honestly feel like maybe i will do a favour to the world if i pass away. He was so strong and tried so hard that maybe he couldn't anymore and had to leave. I was given a name sunshine but honestly I am so broken that i can't remember how to smile anymore. I think of him everyday trying to approach him i thought talking to friends might help but all of them are annoyed by me talking about him at all. I use to self harm buthe stoped me and now i falling in the spiral again. I know i can't cut because it will hurt people but i hate the pain i am having my chest hurts my body hurts my mind never stop
