I just met someone. We’ve spent our third evening together, and it was hilarious. I know I like him, not sure if he shares the feeling. We started as online friends, and we’re kinda exploring if we can have something more in real life. When we chatted before, we could go on long periods of silence or answer non-regularly, and it didn’t bother me in the least. Now that I’ve met him and I know that he really is the most loveable kind of person, I think I’m getting obsessed again.
I’m medically diagnoses with ADHD, and I’ve been told hyperfixation is typical for us. I’ve already had this with my previous crush that did not lead to a relationship, partly because of me. I fixated on that person so much it creeped them out. My mood and self-esteem entirely depended on whether that man showed signs of being into me or not, and if it seemed to me that I didn’t get enough attention, I’d have a mess of feelings and tears.
This person I’m seeing now is a terrible correspondent. He may not respond for a day or two, while I try to answer him within minutes now. I’m finding myself constantly checking my notifications to see if he sent me something and rereading our conversation. I know he has a life, and I should have mine too. It’s just so hard because when I fall for someone they feel like my only source of motivation and energy. I try not to overthink, I know from my past experience that silence is normal, and it does not mean I’ve said anything wrong or that I’m being ignored. I’m telling myself hyperfixation is bad. Logically I understand it all, how to make my brain fall in line?
