I amin relationship from 8 years. My partner online cheated on me in starting months of 2022 but then he quit those things and apologized to me .after that we were all good but then since sept 2022 he cheated on me again till April 2023 but he quit talking to that girl before I got to know. But somehow I got to know about it through his phone gallery few days back.he said he kept those phots to confess everything to me. I saw some photos but he quickly deleted them all and said that he don’t want to kept them anymore.he Is apologizing to me that he want to be with me that’s why he quit talking to that girl. He also told me that he is in fake relationship..he is just pretending with her due to some money issues.but in photos its doesn’t look like a fake relationship at all. What should I do now? I am afraid of forgiving him but its really hard for me to quit everything too.

what should i do?

This may seem too long to read but I am helpless and hopeless so just trying if any one can give me good perfect advice according to what I am dealing with or how can I get back into life being successful , earn money , that feeling of being loved again. I am completely new to sharing what I am suffering so don't mind if I seem too idiotic or stupid but that is how I feel. Mostly I think it has been my mistakes only because you can't blame anyone else if you have made your life not worth living because a lot of people suffer much more and they still stand tall. I don't know but I am suffering every day and just desperately want to get out of this stage of my life which has been too long. So writing here in just a ray of hope that someone will read this and understand and then give me some advice or atleast some consolation that things it still get better.

So here is the whole story :-

I am from India. And I used to be a very bright student in my school days. Always used to score better than almost everyone till the time I fell for a girl. Yeah it should not have happened but it did because I was a idiot. So after I fell for a girl who was too beautiful lovely and she had all the qualities ticked. We were into a relationship for almost 4 years. Just before my high school board exams she broke up with me. There was no cheating or seeing someone else. It was also not that we fell out of love for each other. It was just that we were not able to meet each other quite often because of coaching classes and all. But we used to talk over phone and texted each other a lot. That not meeting quite often started to create problems between us because it was that thing which always used to clear any fights or anything else from our relationship equation. Then that distance grew and the fights started more and more and she broke up with me before the high school board exams. She loved me and I loved her a lot too but somehow I was not left capable enough after breakup to study for the exams.

And then started my downfall. I failed in my board exams because I was not able to study. I did not cared for anything which was happening that time. All in my mind was just her.

I started drinking smoking which I never even thought of. Then she left for another city for college. She somehow realised her mistakes too and she wanted to get back with me. She also gave a lot of signs that she wants to get back with me. But there was this thing which I felt guilty about always from the day I knew it. It was that somehow when we used to kiss and get too close few of those times I got too excited and ended up with upsetting her. I knew that I did wrong but all this with the growing distance between us made her slightly hate me I guess or just angry.

That excitement thing never was the issue when she got into college and tried to get back with me again but that guilt never left me that I have hurt that one who I loved most after my parents. Even if it was not a big issue. So I always thought even when she tried to get back with me that I will end up upsetting her only. Also I was too much into self depressing mode that I didn't even noticed her signs of let's get back together. Now after a year or so she got busy and settled well into the new city so made friends and all but we always used to be in touch. Sometimes we used to call and chat with each other. Also whenever she used to come back in a year we used to meet every year.

After a gap of year I also started engineering course but she was always in my mind. I used to think that once I will get better I will tell her everything. And which I did but then it was too late.

Now starts the real downfall in my life.

The thing which gave me hope all those years was gone now. So now I started smoking pot day night anytime. Same with alcohol. Then came hard drugs.

I spent all my parents hard earned money on these things which were not making me better but on the contrary I was drowning. Drowning in guilt shame and also the effects which I was having with the heavy usage of those drugs.

College ended and I ended too with no job.

Then I quit all of it for months and tried to take control of my life. Get a job earn money gain confidence which got so low because of the drugs and all the feelings in which I was not interested anymore. Needless to say even though I got opportunities to get a gf again I was not over her so I did not even tried to get to say even yes to anyone.

Then again started a period of heavy drug abuse.

Relapses happened again and again because whenever I got sober I started getting dreams almost on a daily basis of her. I was not able to feel good any day because I always used to think what has happened should not have happened etc and needless to say I already was recovering from heavy drug abuse.

Now as I am sharing this I am fully sober for few months now but still with those dreams of her or where I am in my life suffering with no job no money even though I am 27 now. Low self esteem low confidence. She has got someone in her life who is very good looking and successful and she seems to be in perfect love story now. All I can think of is how I can get things to make work for me now ? How am I going to get my pride my confidence back ? How am I going to get fit again ? How am I going to get a good job ?

Just hopeless and full of despair is the condition of my life. Although it has been since a lot of years but the drugs used to get a escape route to me which I don't want now. But I want to see myself get back in life. Everything I had a dream of I want to fulfill those. But how ? Just how ?

If anyone is kind enough to read till the end and even think that I am a fool idiot dumba** which you are right I was, can you give some advices ? Help me out to get me help myself.

If you even read till the end I am very thankful to you.

I worked for a government agency and was quite happy with my job. It happened that I became close to a girl and supported her in her work. I wanted to be a hero in her eyes. And I was! She looked at me literally as an idol and a meter of the profession. I explained and showed her everything. Yeah, I liked her! What's the big deal? I was the "soul of the team", and after her appearance colleagues began to actively jealous. I didn't spend much time with them anymore. The conflict was escalating and I was "growing wings" because of the girl's admiring eyes. One day I had a fight with the team I was working with. In the course of the conflict, I said that if I continued to be pressured like this, I would leave. "Where will you go? Who needs you?" said one of my colleagues. It was at lunchtime. I was savagely hurt by that phrase. I started looking at job postings at lunchtime. Emotionally, of course. My girlfriend said, looking at me admiringly: "You should go straight to being a director. Now I'm gonna have to get a director's job for her. I found a vacancy for a director and called there, sending my resume. The manager answered that just today, in a couple of hours, the final interview would begin. And if I want to be on time, I have to come today and it's actually unlikely, because the director has already been seen, but the interview with other candidates will still be. I really wanted to go. The urge to quit my job on the same day was wild with resentment. I told the girl that I was going for an interview and she was happy. I told my coworkers when I left work that I was going to a new job. They were surprised, but they also looked incredulous. Something like "you are angry, calm down and come back tomorrow". When I walked into the office for the interview, the manager said the interview was coming to an end and there was no point in me coming in anymore. What? I started pushing through. Saying everything I could think of, putting pressure on them. The girl got upset and ran to her supervisor. Apparently, her story to Naalstvo was emotional and I was invited to come in. I met the owner of the business and was so convincing that .....They chose ME! I didn't doubt it, I felt like a pro! All the office managers were shocked. As I found out later, a director had actually been chosen for the office beforehand, but the owner didn't like him very much. But the whole staff did. That's why they wouldn't let me go to the interview. And that's when I burst in and broke through. The owner of the company said that he was looking for just such a "punchy" person and he liked the way I went to the closed interview. The decision was made. And I was told to fire the entire staff and hire a new one. Can you imagine the eyes of the female employees who wouldn't let me in??? But most important to me were my girlfriend's eyes, shining and telling me "I knew you were the best." Needless to say, when I came to quit my previous job the next day, my colleagues were shocked and asked me to stay...but it didn't matter to me anymore.. So, believing in myself I did the impossible...And the businessman who took me on as director later told everyone "I found a diamond in the rough"

Hi, my question will be somewhat delicate. I’m not quite sure whom to turn to or what to do next, so guess I just need some opinions on the matter.

I work in a library, and we have a mentally handicapped man working with us. I don’t know the details of his condition. He’s in his forties but acts like he’s 16. All my other colleagues are middle-aged women, I’m the only one without a family or kids. When I took the job, that man immediately took a liking to me and it sort of became our routine to chat a bit in the morning and after work. Nothing personal, we talk about favorite music and TV-shows. He tells me what he had cooked for breakfast (he lives with his mother) and the new Lego set he had bought. Initially I thought it was normal work chitchat, especially when we both get bored with repetitive daily tasks. But lately our communication has turned to direct flirting on his side. He always wants to help me with something, even though I don’t need any help. I tried to be polite and friendly, but eventually snapped a couple of times telling him he was distracting me from my work. He got offended and ignored me for several days walking back and forth past my working desk twenty times a day with a blank face. It was actually a relief, but it was not for long, and meanwhile my colleagues kept joking that I’d been rude to “our Jeff”. I secretly hoped he’d stay offended, but he showed up with a rose instead and doubled his flirting. He also became more aggressive, last month he came to work and put his arms on my shoulders asking for “free hugs” all the while smiling like it was something natural. I didn’t know how to react and tried to detach myself as quickly as possible. My colleague who was standing next to me patted him on the back and told him to go do his job, which he did. She finds his attentions to me “cute” and reminds me that he doesn’t fully understand the full consequences of his actions. I’m not sure this is true because he doesn’t act the same way to any other woman, but I never gave him any reasons to believe I’m interested. I took two weeks off before the holidays, hoping that we’ll all take a healthy break from one another and things might change for the better. My friend advised me to treat the man as I treat my female colleagues, to be very reserved and focus on my work. However, I find it hard to follow! I began avoiding our small cafeteria on the first floor and take the pains to have lunch at the mall next to the library, just to avoid any communication with Jeff outside work. It’s both longer and lonelier. I feel uncomfortable when he is around. Two days ago, he grabbed me by the hand near the elevator and tried to hold me, making inappropriate comments about my skirt. I told my manager about it, she shrugged it off, like all my other colleagues do. They think he’s harmless, and I almost feel ashamed for complaining to them. I tried to casually lie to Jeff that I have a boyfriend and am about to get married, and he didn’t show any signs of comprehension at my words, as if I were talking about my brother or about pizza. I feel like I’m some sort of trophy, and I’m supposed to be kind and understanding because I have no mental issues and he has.

So, how to handle this situation appropriately? I don’t want to get Jeff in trouble, but I don’t know how to stop it, without quitting my job? Or should I quit? The pay is not worth it, and the only reason I took it was to pay the bills quickly and because I thought it’s a great relaxing job.