try to be a music producer

Hello,I am an 18-year-old girl from China and I'm just a freshman in a university. i'll first talk about the career-planning problem i'm facing recently.I love music since i was a child.However, because my parents dont have enough money to support me pursue my music dream and even worse, they dont pay for the extra-curricular music class, such as my drum class.(maybe there will be a lot of grammar mistakes lol.i'm not that proficient in english ).i wanna be a producer and i hate my major,which is finance.My mom and dad dont think getting a job in the field of music can make money.in the stereotype, people who work in music can just make few money and live a poor life without a rich background.music is just a small cause of my depression,i actually have lots of interets but the reality is every time i thought about the career i could choose,i can just see i cant get into the field i love.i have no courage to get myself into the music produce study,because there is no one i could communicate with.my father is a too ratinal person that only give me analysis but not any emotional support.my mom is an anxious person, who never understand me ,is temperamental and usually say i'm not that good in singing.my boyfriend,who is quite busy with his school work,is also a realistic person.and ieven dont trust myself,i used to have procrastination and never achieve what i thought i can.my parents,boyfriend and friends they seemed to be supportive but the never really get what i want and what i love. especially my parent, my mom's anxiety before(she is seemed to be good now)really affect me.she used o be angry because a few words i said but i do not mean to be this.i find it really hard to show the real me towards her, especially i have tried and failed for so many time.sometimes her words cause a slight panic attack.i want guts,i want money,i want to be true to myself.i want to fully use my talent in music(lots of people said that i am a person who is intelligent but not hardworking.haha) thats my story.thanks for listening and stand my poor english,lol