I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years but now I don’t even know if I see a future with him. We both want different things from Life. He wants to move down south but I have absolutely no intention of doing so. We both have different political views, and I thought I could handle it before but now not so much. He thinks we need to move in together. Long ago I would have said yes but now I’m not sure. I feel absolutely sick whenever I think about it or it comes up I feel like I’m dying. I still love and care about him, but I don’t wanna hurt anyone or feel like a monster. All my life I’ve never had a chance to live on my own. I’ve never gotten to experience it. He doesn’t think I can do it at all because of my job situation which might be true, but I can still live on my own. I’ve also managed to build a life for myself in my hometown with some new friends and new places to go to. I don’t want that taken away from me. I feel like a monster, a selfish monster. I want the freedom to live the life I want to live, but I feel like I’m in the wrong for it. Am I so bad?

Lately I feel like God or the universe hates me. I’m trying to follow my career and personal goals but nothing seems to work. I’m trying to build my career as a copy/content writer and while have gotten some jobs, I can’t seem to find anything else. I recently had a job interview at a library. I would love to work in a library. I love books and it’s so nice and quiet but no matter how many jobs I apply for and how many interviews I go on, I can’t seem to snag a job there. I really want to become a writer and write my own books, but I don’t think I’m good enough. I just want to have a happy life doing something that makes me happy and fulfilled but I guess that’s wrong. I feel like the only thing I am ever going to be good for is just lying on my back. How can I change things? Am I allowed to be happy?

i’m seventeen years old and do not have any genuine friendships or family. it is incredibly lonely and isolating. i am doing all i can do at the moment, i have an in-person therapist, i talk to her once a week, i am now a part of a coping strategies group at my high school, i will be more involved with my schools theater community again for our spring musical ‘chicago’ which i will be returning as one of the running crew. i go to work, i have worked a lot lately. but i crave friends, i crave friendship and family. i am so very lonely. i have cried to counselors, i have reached out to endless helplines, i have tried to get out there. i am horribly limited, i am stuck in a damaging household with “family” members who worsen my mental health and who i do not consider my family at all. to me my house is a jail. i have tried everything to make it not be a jail but i hate my family. i have thought about running away, and recently i have thought endlessly about ending it all. please reach out if you live in the RVA area and you’re a teenager. if so that would mean the whole entire world, or if you live in like chesterfield, fredericksburg etc… or please reach out if you’re seventeen as well. i just want to feel connected, i want somebody whos like me to connect to.

hello there,

i wanted to know if y'all ever faced this feeling:

you invested so much energy in a passion that helped you, but it actually also had bring you a lot of issues that impacted your health. would you still keep it because of the many years you poured in it and have hopes, or give up because of disappointements and protect your mental?

to explain my case, this passion revealed a creative side from me in art, writing, costumes, confidence in my appearance etc. and thanks to that i gained opportunities and "kind of fame" at some moment.

but the thing is, it's also because i entered this community i met people that abused me, sabotaged me, and i'm now diagnosed with depression, take antidepressants and i won't tell more but you can guess what is it when you don't wanna fight anymore for your life.

i only poured all my love into that, it's not just an interest, all my life revolved around it. i feel it's too late to start over with something else, i feel i lost years if i abandon it, but i don't know what to gain more from it now that people destroyed my status. on one hand i would never have meet such an enjoyable interest that gave me popularity but also i knew i would have never meet these people.

maybe the best is to enjoy it but far from the fandom side but i still have this fomo thingy.

I had got betrayals from friends.. I am pure hearted that's why they didn't liked me cause I'm straight forward and tell things which I feel in their face .. I don't have any regret of saying anything to anyone cause I know my intention was pure... 🙂 I need real genuine friendship who will understand me..

Last month I had a dream that I can’t seem to forget. In the dream I was walking into town, my town that is, While I was walking two dogs, I then came across a group of people who looked like the cast of a musical that I saw on Broadway. The group welcomed me warmly, and one of the guys there was really sweet to me. He gave me a hug and a little kiss, but the kiss did not feel weird. It felt nice. It’s funny because the guy that kissed me looked like the actor. I have a crush on and one of the people with him was the actress he is currently engaged to, but it wasn’t those cast members at all. They just looked like them anyway we all hung out together and talked and had a great time. I can’t stop thinking about it. I wonder if it means something. I had this theory that it’s a preview of how good my life could be. But I don’t know what to make of it. I want to believe that it means something good is coming, but I just don’t know. What do you think?

Hi Guys,

What do you do if you have obsessive thoughts that wont leave you .Also if you are feeling extreme sadness that might turn into depression.

Day by day , I am getting more anxious , depressed , seems like everything is getting out of my hands , first the exam and many more things now

ive felt this way since forever. im 18 and i still remember how i was never appreciated in my childhood for no matter what i did. id always try to impress my parents, but i can still image their disappointments. ive never been disappointing, yet ive never felt appreciated in my life. i still live with my family. ive absolutely zero friends. i have tuberculosis and i barely get to socialise (which is only with my family and relatives). i dont know how to explain this feeling to anybody but ive always felt like no matter what i say, nobody listens. no matter how much i want to prove myself right or tell others about my pain whether its physical of mental, it wouldnt matter. im a rlly quiet person and this has affected my self worth so much. i stay in self doubt all the time. ive rlly unusual thoughts such as “im not allowed to share abt my hobby to anybody or rlse i cant enjoy it”. and i cannot even find the root cause of the thoughts. i met my bf online 5 months ago. i never met him irl. my anxiety and fears tell me that im not allowed to enjoy my relationships cus of the reputation ldrs have. its all filled with stories of cheating and stuff and no matter how good he is to me, i still end up fighting with him and doubting him. im so sure that im not living as a normal person. ive no activities (ive a few hobbies). i dont feel physical good to do anything. and talking to my family feels a huge burden. im rlly sensitive and everything feels like a trigger. ive put so many limits in my daily life and when i think about it i feel so guilty that ive not enjoyed or lived a single day of my life since i just dont know how to. i feel so left out and im afraid of what ppl would think of me. i ruminate abt every single moment and its just so overwhelming.

Failed in the exam for the 5th time and it's not even that hard , it's due to I am not able to remember the things.

I am ashamed of myself , I am not able to face my parents, they are disappointed from me , feels everytime like a heavy burden to them. 😖