I had been struggling for a while but on the 14th November I had a horrible night shift that was very very busy. I felt awful handing over to the day management and was even crying. Just over an hour into being at home and my nights manager sends me a message in the group chat demanding to know why so much work was left undone. I'd never felt so defeated, so let down by myself and felt like a massive failure. Depression and anxiety come with autism but nothing could prepare me for the crushing pain and sadness I felt that Friday morning. I have learn confrontation isn't something you can train yourself at being better at coping with. I have learnt I struggle more than I let myself realise and that the world we live in is so isolating and negative. I've had to take time off work because constant anxiety is making my whole body shake all day. I feel lost yet just wanting to go back to work just to feel useful some how. I'm a people pleaser but also notice it means I get walked all over.
Over the past few years, with the normalisation of “pop culture psychology” and increasing acceptance to self diagnose, I’m noticing a concerning pattern of behaviour within certain communities, mo...
The heartbreaking thing about loving an avoidant as someone with a more secure attachment style is that you have to do it from afar to preserve your own mental and emotional wellbeing.
