Post
Hi
Hidenpeson99
1y ago

Can’t be an adult. Seeking empathy…

Having ADHD is so weird and agonizing!! I was diagnosed four weeks ago, and it validated most of my life’s failures. I can’t understand people, I hear them speak, but I can’t grasp complex information, at uni I have to make audio recordings of all lectures so that I can listen to them at home. I’m also really bad with numbers. I can’t do math in my head, and I could never keep up with my peers, who grasp it all so easily. It is called dyscalculia? Or something like that.. I don’t know how I finished school, it was a miracle.. I was the one with “learning issues” in sciences, thank heavens, my English and literature were above average. Even when I’m studying the subjects I like, I can’t focus for more than twenty minutes. It makes me fidgety and nervous, I feel unhealthy, as if my battery is always low. My memory sucks, and I’m not making much progress this year. No matter how much I try to study, I end up scrolling reels or playing games on the phone. I’m so privileged to be where I am, and yet doomed to be the one who fails. I’ll always be crawling to my goals like an inadequate dumbass...


Now that the final exams are looming, I’m so depressed I want just to drop out! I told my dad yesterday, and I thought he’d give me a slap. He’d probably do it if we were alone… My new doctor said we’d try the new type of medication aka stimulants. No idea what it is, I just pray they won’t screw up my brains even more. All the nootropics I’ve been prescribed at school were a total fiasco! I don’t mind taking meds, if they help me stop being a mess. Is it even possible to be an adult with an ADHD diagnosis? I want to study like everyone else, I need my degree. This is so unfair!

Specialist answer
Veena Choudhary
1y
Specialist

Studying for exams can be daunting and stressful when you have adhd but you can try these tips or strategies to help learning and studying easier and boost your mood, grades. research shows that person with ADHD just needs to just study differently and creatively and not spend time reading continuously. This will help you crack the exam code.


  • Read for 20 min then take a break for 5-10 min. choose a regular time of the day when you are most alert for focused work.


  • keep your room organised and don't keep any device near you which is distracting e.g electronic devices like phone, laptop etc


  • 30 min of exercise like yoga or tai-chi or aerboics 4-5 times a week would improve your focus and executive functioning skills


  • Research has shown that you remember more when you review what you studied or learnt earlier in the day 10 to 15 min before the bed. Reviewing what you studied allows you to process the information as you sleep.


  • highlight important text with different coloured pens


  • recording few notes which you know is very important. keep listening to those when you are walking around


  • research has also shown that when exposed to same smell when you study and sleep adhd adult can remember more. like small dish of essential oil like peppermint is good choice. brain will associate that scent with the material she studied earlier.


  • Try reading an assignment aloud to yourself


  • 30 min afternoon naps would be beneficial. don't extend beyond 30 minutes since it can interfere with sleep in the night


  • You can also try different places to study to help you remember like different rooms or hall or outside in the garden. experiment and see what works best for you. you also can explore do you need to be on your own or study with another friend, do you prefer reading in silence or need background noise to cal you down to prepare for exams.


  • Talk to your teacher and make a list of important topics. write it down and set a reminder to read those.


negativity is only going to lower your self esteem. instead of saying i would only be crawling to my goals see how you can look at things positively and build your self esteem by focusing on developing skills to be successful with your symptoms. look at the positivity you have a super creative brain and fast brain. you have many thoughts at the same time, you are very good with your even sentences which i can see in this message. Simone biles or Michael philps had adhd but they have done really well in their life. Adhd set you apart but will not prevent you from achieving your goals. the goal is how can you accept the brain that you have and work with it. At the end your efforts matter. all the best for your exam.

Eu
Eugene Wyatt
1y

Surely you can recover! Whether it’s truly your ADHD or a burnout from pre-exam stress, it’s all manageable. Do not listen to the voice in your head telling you to quit. It’s misleading, you can do it one step at a time. My memory is poor too, and I got addicted to a progress tracking app. Apart from letting me set short-term goals, it also reminds me how much I’ve already done. No, seriously, you say finishing school was a miracle, and that sounds as if you didn’t do anything for it. That’s the underappreciation part of you that doesn’t allow you to have any positive feelings about all your small victories. I realize you might want to achieve more, but it’s crucial to celebrate small successes too, or else you’ll keep feeling inadequate. Give yourself some credit for all your efforts, especially because they have required much more from you. Buy yourself an ice cream or watch a short film, and let it be on the days when you manage to study even a little. Keep pushing! 💪🏻

lo
low_bite_374
1y

It’s totally ok to feel anxious and low before exams. Honestly, I always felt that way — insomnia and panic attacks before major tests all my life! Don’t beat yourself up for past failures. What’s done is done, and you know you did your best. Now put your back into these finals and believe that afterwards things will get easier. Your new medications will be a breakthrough, they’ll make a huge difference. Take it from someone who was misdiagnosed for years, and when we finally got to the root of it, I could cry with relief. You’ll thrive too!

An
Anna Sun
1y

The stimulants you’ve been prescribed are standard for ADHD treatment. Basically, most of your issues, like low energy and low focus, stem from a brain that doesn’t get enough stimulation. Normally, our brain releases the happiness hormone (dopamine) whenever we do something useful, and it motivates us to continue. For some people with ADHD, this reward cycle doesn’t work properly, and without enough dopamine, they struggle to cope with daily tasks and chores. So it’s not your fault, you aren’t distracting yourself out of laziness, your brain just needs a tiny boost of regular happiness! That’s why the nootropics weren’t of any use, they address a different problem.

Ro
Robert
1y

I’m in the same boat, even without ADHD. I’m bad at decision-making and numbers too. Can’t keep them in my head for the life of me, that’s why I need everything written down, available for perusal. I’ve lost my job and can’t decide what to do next with my life. This responsibility paralyzes me, I end up doing nothing all day long and feel exhausted all the same. Sorry for sharing my own problems. Just wanted to say I feel you. Ask for help if you can get it.

Le
Lee White
1y

@Anna Sun Sorry for barging in, I just wonder if these stimulant medications can also be used to overcome procrastination and lack of interest? I’m on SNRIs, and we’ve been lowering the dosage lately. I’m worried that my recent increase in productivity will fade away with it.

An
Anna Sun
1y

@Lee White I can’t really recommend anthing to you, so take it just as my personal opinion. I suppose stimulants might be helpful to many people with general focus and motivation problems. Their only target is dopamine levels, so it’s very straightforward. With SNRIs and the like, it’s also about modifying the brain chemicals, but not necessarily the dopamine levels. Anyway, you’d better consult your therapist about it.

Lu
Lucia Martinez
1y

You’ll pass these exams without a hitch! The best advice I have is choose your learning methods. If audio is not your thing, read text, revise by writing things down, use flashcards. Study when you feel you have the energy, 20 minutes is fine, it’s actually good to schedule shorter study sessions and have breaks in-between when you can stretch your legs or eat something tasty. You can search for study music – it helps get you into the focus zone and keeps you fixated on your exam. Break tasks into small chunks and have deadlines. Don’t allow the fleeting feelings of low self-esteem to sink you into laziness and apathy. Value your time, for you can achieve a lot with it! Good luck to you.

ra
random coffee
1y

Believe me, I’m learning to be an adult at 41. It’s a never-ending story. It’s hard enough to get stuff done at work, and there’re duties after work. I wish I could blame my mental issue for it, alas, my wonderful pills keep me going for the time being. Evident tip: put that mobile phone away. Put screen time restrictions, if nothing else helps. It’s not your friend during exam times. And about your feeling of injustice, try to think of it as your personal challenges. They are bound to make you stronger. You’re getting the firsthand life experience, so stop saying you’re privileged. You’re earning all you’ve got, fair and square. These exams will be over in no time, and there’ll be many more, and all your hard work will pave the path for your future career and long-term goals. I’m sure you know it all, so pardon my preaching. I only want you to be proud of yourself, don’t focus on your diagnosis. You’re capable of much more than you imagine!

SM
SMagnus
1y

I know the loop when your own or your parent’s high expectations drag you down instead of uplifting. Please cut yourself slack, it’s hard enough, and self-loathing only fuels negative emotions. You’ve got this! Recognize that there’s no perfect way to be an adult or to achieve high results. And for ADHD people I’d recommend try all sorts of study strategies instead of searching for one that will work. They all work for a short time. Once you feel your focus is waning, change the studying method or the scenery. If it’s difficult for you to study on your own, ask your parent or friends to help you out. Nothing beats healthy loughs while preparing for the exams! Break a leg! x

ab
abandoned
1y

You can use ChatGPT-4 (paid version) as one method of revising things. It can take your learning materials and show them from a different, engaging angle. You can ask it to transform the subject you’re studying into a detective / fantasy scenario and make it argue with you (you need to feed it the right answers first). Anything that makes cramming a bit more interesting will be of help!

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