hello, my question is in the topic.
A little backstory. I’m 18 and I’ve been interested in girls since 14. I grew up in a small town, my family are very religious. My first kiss was with a boy, I simply didn’t dare to approach a girl. I dated a guy for a couple of years, then when we finally broke up and I stayed single for a while, I rediscovered my interest in women, and I met Mary. She’s absolutely gorgeous, three years older than me and has always been lesbian. When we started dating, it was like I was finally myself. The emotions were incredible, like I’ve never felt before. However, when we started being intimate, every time we tried, my mind froze, panicking. My partner is openly sexual and has no taboos. I am the opposite. I’m extremely anxious and shy about it. The few times I was able to cope with my anxiety, I acted very quickly and was unable to relax. Every time I’m unprepared or feel like we will be seen, I reject her out of anxiety, and then feel ashamed and guilty about it. Therapy was not helpful. I’m desperate. I don’t want my partner to think I’m disinterested and break up with me. Please share any wisdom you have
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