Hey I really sympathize with you. Been through it myself. I had to talk to my friend-psychologist, to just sort out my own emotions. I think what really helped me was anger and my own pride. Despite all my hurt feelings and a petty wish to get my ex back, then leave him myself and make him regret it… I knew deep in my heart that I don’t want someone who clearly doesn’t want me. I need to be the only one, like, the best one. Once this sunk in, I simply knew my ex didn’t deserve me. I also knew that I can’t let him mess up with me. No man should have this power over me. So know that you deserve a better boyfriend too. And you’ll meet him, as soon as your anger and pride drive your ex out of your mind!
A dream job is the best thing to have at the times of breakup! Leaving you was your ex-boyfriend’s loss, never forget that. You’ll move on eventually and meet another guy ten times cooler than your ex. Just keep being busy and dive your head first into things you enjoy.
Hi! I know exactly how you feel. I've had my heart broken countless times. Every time I loved deeply, and the other person did not. I used to think it’s just part of the love game. It took me a lot of time and thinking to realize how much I underestimated myself. Love yourself, for others to love you, is absolutely the truth of it all. I learned the hard way to look at it differently. Partners come and go, there’s no “one true love”. Or maybe there is for some, but I don’t care anymore. What I care about is how people treat me. I’ll never waste my time on someone who isn’t crazy about me. It’s much more pleasant to be in a relationship when you feel you’re valued and treasured.
I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but it will pass. Give it more space and time. Cry, if it feels like crying, but don’t think about your ex. Think about yourself. The day when you can truly say you're fully and forever over him will be the most majestic day in your life, when you’ll know that you learned to put yourself first. Sending you my best wishes to heal ASAP!
dwelling on the past and trying to change it is the worst thing you can do for yourself. learning from the experience and moving forward is the way to go. i've been through a breakup or two myself, and it taught me to always care for myself first. especially in your situation, when it was your ex who failed you.
The fact that you both go to the same school probably complicates things a lot… Out of sight out of mind is the best strategy. Unfollowing on all social networks, getting rid of things that are reminders... I'd probaly need to block my ex for a while. You are stronger than this! x)
I think you are still in love of the memories, and letting them go is really hard. But when you do, you’ll be able to think of what you want for yourself. Feeling hurt and being sad is part of processing such episodes. Soon you’ll be able to look at your relationship dispassionately, and you might realize that your ex is not someone you wanted to be with anyway. Take care of your own well-being. Imagine if at some point your ex is unhappy and looks your way and sees how happy you are without him, what a fantastic moment it will be!
@Minor Sage I think what hurts the most is he moved on from me to someone else and I'm still struggling to move on I'm not in love with him nor wanted him anymore but
Investing so much in someone and watching them changing is just hard
I can't see him happy with someone else and that gives me a feeling of im not enough
@anonymous Yes, your boyfriend was unfair to you. In your place, I’d feel not only hurt, but betrayed. It’s one thing to have a clean breakup, when two people decide they’re past the point of fixing their relationship and drift apart. It’s still painful, but at least you’re in the same boat. When a person jumps into another relationship while you still haven’t sorted things out between yourselves, it’s a selfish thing to do.
But the only person who can make you whole again is you. One of the benefits of time is that you stop remembering only the good parts. You begin to think of all the bad things your ex-partner has put you through, and it helps you think about him less and less. The highest goal is to conquer resentment completely and kind of raise above it all. I wish you to achieve that goal and be the best version of yourself!
Don’t let this consume your life. What you’re feeling now is like an obsession. It’ll be very good for you if you gravitate towards people who don’t even know your ex-boyfriend. So you can’t discuss him, but can only mention in passing and in the past tense. The image fades once you let it fade and don’t cling to it.
It is okay to feel this way. The person Is someone whom you probably cared deeply in the past. You formed bond and attachment which was so unique for you that you can't let go of that easily. Even though you have moved on in your life but you must have not forgotten the memories. Seeing a new person with one you loved can be painful. You might be having mixed emotions right now like rage, anger, jealousy, sadness, rejection when you see your ex appear happy. If you feel the urge to cry its okie cry just don't repress your emotions
* Journal your emotions. Write down whatever you feel everyday. Start being self aware of your thoughts. You would start imagining certain thoughts that he must be out here or he is doing this with her so say out loudly it is mind thinking all this or is it the reality. Just be aware of your negative thoughts. See how far those thoughts are reality.
*Practice mindfulness. When ever you have thoughts about him distract your mind. Where ever you are sitting just look around in the room and start looking at things around, observe in detail for a minute then close your eyes and describe in the detail about any one object about its shape, how does the texture look like, patterns etc. this will help you to be in the present. This will help you to be able to redirect your obsessive thoughts.
* Write down what went missing in the relationship that led to the break up . What have to learnt from the past relationship and do not want to repeat it.
* Think what do you need in your life. Set a small goal for you everyday and see if you re able to achieve it.
Painful traumatic experiences are how we grow . They teach you things about yourself that you could have never learned. So notice how you were before to how you have changed. Times like you may not enjoy something initially before meeting him but because of him you have to started to accept doing it.
* write 5 positive traits about yourself. Say it loudly looking in the mirror. Feel your body gushing when you say that trait.
* Focus on the good things in your current situation. Say to yourself before going to the bed the things you are grateful for today.
Working on your self esteem is much important. When you say it gives me feeling of I am not enough then answer this are you not much beyond this. Being accepted by him is the only thing which gives you validity about yourself. Is not your happiness much beyond his validation. Your characteristics and traits shape you and form your identity and your life goal, dreams should help you contribute to your happiness.