Childhood memories aren't the best one but beleive me that will be your strenght. keep looking forward if you somehow feels anxious try to think happy thoughts , listen to favorite music or try to do some other active things that might help you to move on
@dzrzb48885@privaterelay.appleid.com I completely agree with this advice. It's essential to focus on moving forward and finding positive coping mechanisms. In addition to the great suggestions already mentioned, I'd like to add a few more. Most importantly, don't put pressure on yourself to "get over it" quickly. Everyone's life is different, and it's perfectly normal to still be affected by past experiences
Consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma
Building a support network is crucial. This could include trusted friends, family members, your therapist. Having people you can talk to about your feelings can make a significant difference in your healing process
OP, be patient and kind to yourself. That’s an important one and probably the most important
Hope you find a way out!
@helen I'm truly moved by your vulnerability. It takes courage to share such personal experiences, and I want you to know that you're incredibly brave for doing so. Please don't apologize for being a "mess" you're human, and you're dealing with complex emotions
It's understandable to feel overwhelmed, especially when confronting past traumas. That's all part of the process
Every person, including you, deserves compassion and support. Your past experiences don't define your worth. It's okay to lean on others and accept help
@dzrzb48885@privaterelay.appleid.com thank you for your kind words. i appreciate your advice, but i feel so overwhelmed right now. it's hard to think of happy thoughts when the memories keep flooding back. i feel so ashamed that i can't just "move on" like everyone tells me to. i'm trying to look forward, i really am, but the past keeps pulling me back. sometimes i wonder if i'll ever feel normal. the fight with my boyfriend just brought everything back to the surface, and now i'm spiraling again. i wish i could be more positive, but everything just feels so dark right now
@rickie thank you for understanding that it's normal to still be affected by past experiences. your words make me feel a little less alone, but i can't help feeling like a failure for not being "over it" yet. the idea of seeking professional help terrifies me. your kindness makes me want to cry because i feel like i don't deserve it. i'm sorry for being such a mess. i wish i could take your advice and run with it, but everything feels so overwhelming. thank you for caring, even though i feel like i don't deserve it
@rickie your words hit me hard. i want to believe you, i really do. but there's this voice in my head that keeps telling me i'm not brave, i'm just weak for not being able to handle this on my own. i keep thinking about all the people who've been through worse and seem to be doing fine. why can't i be like them? the thought of accepting help makes me feel so vulnerable. what if i open up and people realize how broken i am? what if they get tired of dealing with my issues? i'm scared of being a burden. i want to believe i deserve compassion, but it's so hard when i can't even look at myself in the mirror without feeling ashamed. how do you start to undo years of feeling unworthy?
What you're experiencing is completely valid and understandable. Childhood trauma can leave deep scars that take time to heal. It's so brave of you to reach out and share your story. Remember, healing isn't linear - some days will be better than others, and that's okay. Have you considered exploring creative outlets like art or music? They can be incredibly therapeutic. Also, building a support network of trusted friends can make a world of difference. You're not alone in this journey, and it's never too late to start healing!
@jasmin95536 it's been years, and i feel like i should be over it by now. the idea of healing not being linear is comforting, but also terrifying. what if i never get better? what if i'm stuck like this forever? i've thought about trying art or music. i feel so alone, even when i'm surrounded by people. it's like there's this invisible wall between me and everyone else. your kindness makes me want to believe in healing, but right now it feels so out of reach. i'm sorry for being so negative
hey there 🧡 i'm so sorry you're going through this. i've been where you are nd i know how tough it can be. growing up, my home was chaotic too. lots of yelling, slamming doors, feeling scared, im sure you know what i mean😔 i carried that trauma with me for years. nightmares, anxiety, everything. but i promise it can get better!
therapy was a game-changer for me it took time to find the right therapist, but when i did, wow. just wow. we worked through my childhood stuff. meditation and journaling are my daily routine now📝 it's like giving my brain a hug if that makes sense haha
it's totally normal to still be affected by past trauma, you were just a child, you didn’t deserve all of it and i didnt as well
now, at 28, i can say life is so much better. i have healthy relationships, including with myself. when conflicts happen, i have tools to handle them without spiraling
my advice is to be patient and kind to yourself. seek therapy pls just do it
@Fernando Lopez you brought tears to my eyes. it's like you've lived my life. the chaos, the fear, the hiding - it's all so familiar. i'm in awe of how far you've come, but it also makes me feel so hopeless. at 28, you've found peace, but at 18, i feel like i'm drowning. the thought of carrying this for another decade terrifies me. therapy sounds like it could help, but the idea of opening up to a stranger about all this makes me want to run and hide. i'm so scared they'll judge me or think i'm weak
@Fernando Lopez it's like you're describing my exact thoughts and fears. the idea that you were in the same place at my age... it gives me hope. but at the same time, it feels so far away. i can't imagine ever feeling okay, let alone happy. how did you find the courage to take that first step? i'm terrified of opening up to anyone, even a therapist. what if they don't believe me? what if they think i'm exaggerating? or worse, what if they confirm my worst fears that i'm beyond help? i'm sorry for all these questions. it's just... it's the first time i've talked to someone who really seems to understand.
@Fernando Lopez the way you describe the healing process is oddly comforting. at least i know i'm not failing at getting better. it's just part of the process. but how do you keep going when everything feels so overwhelming? there are days when i can barely function, let alone work on healing. and how did you deal with the people around you during this process? i'm so scared of pushing away the few people i have in my life. my boyfriend tries to understand, but i can see the frustration in his eyes sometimes. i don't want to be a burden, but i also don't know how to be "normal". did you ever feel like you were too much for the people in your life?
@helen hey, i totally get where you're coming from 🧡 the idea of carrying this pain for years can feel overwhelming, but trust me, it doesn't have to be that way
healing isn't about age, it's about starting. i remember being terrified of therapy too. the thought of opening up to a therapist made my skin crawl. but you know what? therapists are trained to help people like us. they've heard it all before, and they're not there to judge. they're there to guide you through the healing process. don't be afraid to look around until you find someone you click with 🥰
@helen no need to apologize for the questions, my friend 👋 i'm here to listen and share. those fears you're expressing? i had every single one of them. the fear of not being believed, of being judged, of being beyond help. they were my constant companions
finding the courage to take that first step wasn't a single moment of bravery. it was a series of tiny decisions, often fueled by desperation. i remember sitting on my bed one night, feeling so overwhelmed that i couldn't breathe. that was when i realized i couldn't keep going on like that
healing is messy, it's hard, and sometimes it feels like you're going backwards. but every time you choose to keep going, even when it feels pointless, you're building strength
Props to you for reaching out, that takes guts. Now, let's talk about some practical stuff you can do. Ever tried mindfulness? It's not just some new age mumbo jumbo, it really helps. Start small, maybe 5 minutes a day of focused breathing. Also, exercise can work wonders for anxiety. Doesn't have to be anything fancy, even a brisk walk counts. Oh, and don't underestimate the power of a good sleep routine. Set a regular bedtime and stick to it. As for the bf situation, maybe write down what you want to say before talking to him? It can help organize your thoughts. Remember, progress isn't always visible, but it’s always there. You got this!
@apollich565 i know you're trying to help, but right now even the thought of trying these things makes me feel exhausted. exercise? most days i can barely get out of bed. the anxiety feels like it's crushing me. a sleep routine sounds good in theory, but the nightmares make me dread going to bed. as for writing down my thoughts before talking to my boyfriend, i'm terrified of what might come out. what if he sees how broken i am and leaves? i feel so ashamed for not being able to just "do" these things that seem so simple
Please know that your feelings are entirely valid and it's perfectly normal to still be affected by past traumas. Our childhood experiences shape us in very deep ways and healing from them takes time and a lot of patience. It's important to remember that you are not defined by what happened to you
You are a beautiful soul who has survived incredibly difficult circumstances. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend. Remember, healing isn't about forgetting the past, but about learning to live fully in the present despite it
Edit: I'm here if you need to talk
@Noahツ i want to believe you, but there's this voice in my head that keeps telling me i'm overreacting. the idea of being shaped by my childhood experiences makes me feel so powerless. i don't want this to define me, but it feels like it's all i am sometimes. treating myself with kindness seems impossible when all i can think about is how i should be "over this" by now. learning to live fully in the present sounds nice, but the past keeps dragging me back. i'm so tired of fighting these memories and feelings
@Noahツ i'm feeling... i don't even know. overwhelmed, i guess. it's like there's this constant weight on my chest, and i can't shake it off. some days, i wake up and it takes all my energy just to get out of bed. i'm scared to talk about it because i don't want to burden anyone else with my problems. plus, what if people think i'm just being dramatic? i mean, it's been years, right? shouldn't i be over this by now? i'm trying to hold it together, but it feels like i'm falling apart. i appreciate your kindness, noah, i really do. it's just... i don't know how to move forward from here
@Noahツ a therapist? the thought of talking to a stranger about all this... it terrifies me. what if they judge me? i've tried to talk to friends before, but i always end up downplaying everything. it's like there's this wall between me and everyone else, and i don't know how to break it down. self-care feels impossible when i can barely drag myself through each day. i'm so tired of feeling this way. i want to believe i'm strong, but most days i feel like i'm barely hanging on. how do you even begin to heal when everything feels so overwhelming?
@helen I hear you, and I want you to know that your feelings are normal. There's no set timeline for when you should be "over" something. It's okay to still be processing and working through these experiences
The fact that you're aware of your feelings and seeking support is already a huge step forward. It's normal to feel tired and overwhelmed, but please don't give up on yourself. How are you feeling now? Wanna talk about it?
@helen Thank you for opening up. Please know that you're not being dramatic at all, trauma doesn't have an expiration date. It's completely normal for memories to resurface, even years later. You're not falling apart, you're processing complex emotions, which is an important part of healing
Some days will be harder than others, and that's okay. You don't have to face this alone. Have you considered reaching out to a therapist? In the meantime, be gentle with yourself
Hi,
Witnessing parents fight in early ages leads to emotional distress. Therapy would help you because therapist wont judge you. It is important you share these feelings, tell your story in detail, label all your emotional feelings attached to the incident like scared, alone etc. It would help you to reflect and validate your feelings. This would help you to face all those feeling which you have kept within you for so many years.
Therapy would help you to find your courage which has lost in this process as you felt powerless when your parents fought.
You could not speak out to them but now you are not able to speak about it also to anyone because you feel you may betray your parents by talking about them negatively. You may be worried what would your parents would feel if they come to know i have spoken about them, you may be feel guilty and ashamed but remember you aren't doing anything wrong, nor you were responsible for any of those fights. Just be honest with yourself and understand your parents had their own wounds and baggages. They were also clueless and had their own unresolved issues. I know you are afraid top open the pandora box thinking what you may find, how painful it might be, scared to express criticism towards your parents. These feelings are valid and normal. In order to grow as an healthy adult you have to be real with yourself about the ways you were hurt in your childhood. just be compassionate and let go of it. These fights don't define you so stop blaming, doubting yourself by saying i am so weak, i am so ashamed. The accuracy of memory is not that important as allowing yourself to feel the feelings associated with your memories. feel it and let go of those feelings.
now what is important is your individual identity which is differentiating from your family. For that individual identity to develop and grow you need to grieve for all injustice you faced in childhood. You learn how are you different from them, learn to discover the " you" is fundamental.