I hate how men are quick to blame women for the trauma they suffered at the hands of an abuser but not antagonise the perpetrator inflicting the harm. It’s always, “Women should choose better!” but never, “Men should stop being abusive.” It’s “not all men” but EVERY woman and her mother has a story of how she was attacked, harassed or preyed upon by a man.
No survivor, woman or man, would willingly date an abusive person. Often time the perpetrator led them into a false sense of security and there was a power dynamic of sorts playing into it. But every time discussions of domestic violence and protecting women come into play men are READY to deflect accountability and refuse to acknowledge their bias because they’re misogynistic.
Fun fact: domestic violence isn’t just a “woman’s issue”, it impacts men too. Despite it disproportionately affecting them it affects them nonetheless. However because a LOT of men are misogynists or predators themselves, they willingly defend abusive behaviour but have the audacity to get upset when women don’t feel safe around them.
The same way they’ll shout “not all men” should be applied in other scenarios. Not all men are abusers but not all men are protectors either. Not all men are rapists but not all men hold their predator acquaintances accountable.
I very genuinely cannot tolerate other men and will never closely associate myself with them because of it. If you treat women with respect you’re a “simp”, if you acknowledge women’s hardships and that they’re not as privileged as ignorant men believe then you’re a “white knight.” If you don’t bodybuild, uphold toxic masculinity and use women for sex then you’re “gay.”
Men hate women assuming the worst of them but continue to leave terrible impressions by associating with the negative beliefs of what it means to be a man.
And before anyone lacking comprehension skills comments attempting to deflect the main point of this vent, I’m not saying women are incapable of being abusers. I’ve acknowledged that TWICE in this post. I’m just tired of seeing men invalidate women’s trauma because they’re pieces of shit.
