I’m in such a weird situation! Seven weeks ago, I gave birth to my firstborn. It’s a long-awaited baby, I’ve been trying to get pregnant for five years and was in the final stages of preparing for IFV, when I met this young man and fell in love for a short while. I knew he was not ready for a family from day one when we were playing board games and the only association he had with “nuptials” was “trap”. But he seemed such an asset, 25 y.o., handsome and healthy. I fell for his genes more than for his character. His mother is a superb woman, and she likes me despite the fact that I’m 8 years older than her son. We can come visit her, and I’ll spend more time talking to her than my partner. When I found out I was pregnant, I told my partner, and then I texted my mother and his mother. Their reaction was overwhelmingly positive, and that somewhat brightened up my partner’s reaction, who simply said, “What? It can’t be”, then looked at my test and went out to the supermarket. I wasn’t waiting for flowers and a cake, of course, but it was dispiriting to see that he was shaken and… afraid? Perhaps I should feel guilty that I used him for my own purpose. Then again, I assured him I wouldn’t need his financial support if he didn’t want to get involved. His mother was very enthusiastic, she patronized me throughout my pregnancy like no one else. I think she even beat my doctor! Honestly, it was nice, and I appreciate it!

I’ll try to keep this short. We stayed together during all my pregnancy. Only I was ecstatic about it, while my partner was just there, perhaps thanks to his mother. My daughter was born a healthy girl, with curly blond hair and gray eyes, while both me and my partner have dark hair and dark eyes. The first thing my partner said when he saw her was she wasn’t his. I was shocked to the point where I couldn’t even argue. I stood there next to his mother and my dad and could cry for the hopelessness of it all. The doctor explained to us that sometimes babies are born with lighter hair, which will change later in life. Even the colour of their eyes may turn from gray to hazel. Thanks God my partner’s mother has grey eyes, so he didn’t focus too much on that at least. He insisted on a paternity test and moved out to live with his mother until we got the results. I suppose the only thing I felt back then was emptiness. It wasn’t even disappointment, I was past that stage during my pregnancy. Anyway, the test showed he was the father (obviously!). His mother, who had been very neutral during all those nervous days, changed her tone and was nice and caring again. She came to help me with the newborn, and two weeks later my partner said he was ready to move in again. We live under one roof again, and we live like neighbors. I don’t know why he’s even doing it. He wasn’t excited about becoming a father in the first place. I was ready to bear this alone, and I still am, but I value all the attention my partner’s mother has shown to me and my daughter. Is it selfish that I don’t want to lose it? I don’t know whether I want to keep living together with her son, there’s nothing between us. I need a grandmother for my daughter more than a father, it’s so ridiculous.

In honor of my wedding anniversary, I want to write my story. I have two children and a happy marriage. I want to tell all the "beauties" who "lose weight" - I'm fat!!!! I've always been fat! But I'm happy! I have a good education and a job. My husband is the boss at my work, he is very smart. It didn't work out for me right away. Before marriage, I dated a handsome young man. I happened to get pregnant and he was afraid of the responsibility. I gave birth to a child.... raised him alone, with help from my parents. The child was disabled, he had problems with his legs. my parents played a huge role in supporting me. I treated my child and he got back on his feet...I studied at the same time. I never thought I'd be lucky enough to get married. And then I met him. My future husband. He amazed me with his erudition and reading. He was a kind, intelligent and honest guy. In his life he was neglected by women-he had a neurological disease and limped. He thinks I'm the most beautiful. We had another child, he is healthy. My husband is the head of the state institution where I work. We're doing great! I wrote this in support of all the "fat" girls and guys who are neglected by women.

I have been with my partner for 9 years, and I’m afraid I can’t do it any longer.

When we met, I was 17 and he was 22. During the first three years of dating we lived separately, and he was the best thing that happened to me. I was not the happiest person back then. I was lonely, I considered myself ugly, I had problems with my studies, and my parents were divorcing, so I was always on edge. In these circumstances, my partner seemed an angel from the heavens. He was there for me, he took me out, and we’d drive for hours or just sit in his car and talk… Really my best memories.

We married three years later, and I moved in with him. By that time I dropped out of college and started working at the supermarket. That’s when I found out that dating and living together are two different worlds. My husband is a nice person, and he’d help any time I asked. But I had to ask all the time! He’d lived alone for a long time before we met, and his habits were horrible, the worst cliches about men apply. He couldn’t cook, he never did proper shopping other than ordering pizzas, his whole flat was always a mess, and he was comfortable in it. I had to enforce basic hygiene rituals. At first I forced him to help me around the house, but it was really tiresome to always command “do this” and “do that”. I hoped he’d act like a grownup, but he never tried. I soon realized he wasn’t mean or overly selfish. He was just being himself, it didn’t come to his mind to help we with the groceries, to wash the dishes, to learn to boil eggs… His attitude was “you can do it if you need it, but I’m OK without”. I was patient, and angry, but most of all I got tired. After a year of working five days a week, I decided to continue my education, and between my job, my studies and home I had no free time at all. I felt I was living with a child-adult who couldn’t help me, because he couldn’t even take proper care of himself. My romantic feelings slowly evaporated, and so did our sexual life.

I wanted to go away many times. But something always stopped me. My husband is very kind and funny, he is my true best friend. I trust him, other women do not exist for him. We click emotionally and have common interests. Both my parents like him – they don’t communicate with each other, but they both communicate with my husband more often than with me (mainly because I’m always busy)! All the women I know divorced their men because they were cheating, or aggressive, or for some other unpleasant reason. Can I divorce my husband because he turned out to be a child?

I know that I’m not happy, but I dread the unknown future and throwing away nine years of my life. I love my husband as a person, but I don’t love him as my partner.

Hello, community!

I have an insomnia problem. Background: 39 years, currently unemployed, live alone.

Problems with sleep started when I still worked and proceeded to worsen, despite my hopes that my forced leave would give me time to recharge. My main issue is REM sleep. I’d get 3-4 hours of deep sleep almost daily, but my REM sleep is sporadic. I’ll often wake up at five in the morning and can’t get back to sleep. I’m an early riser, so time isn’t my concern, I worry about the impact on my health more. I’ve read a lot about sleep, and listened to podcasts by sleep professionals, and I know about the importance of healthy sleep cycles for the body. REM sleep is supposed to be important for memory, and I’m afraid it affects me the most. I often feel this brain fog during the day. Not sleepiness, more like it’s harder to concentrate and think straight. Two years ago, I got treatment for depression, now am taking only vitamins daily. I want to sort my sleep out while I have free time (I’m on unemployment benefits). I’ve even bought the smartwatch to track my sleep cycles (curious data, but so far it hasn’t been of much help to me). I’m trying different diets and regimes with minor positive improvements. Has anyone else experienced a similar issue?