I must admit she’s a very organized hoarder. Our garage and the attic are packed with boxes, most of them have a label. She thinks it’s reasonable to “collect” potentially useful or memorable things, and since she takes the time to label and pack them, she sees no problem in it... I, on the other hand, see a BIG problem. It’s literally walls of boxes that take up our entire attic and two thirds of the garage, with a small path in between.

I’ve talked to her many times about giving some things to those who need them. I thought that appealing to her practical side would work, she’s adamant about recycling, so I tried to reason with her that leaving all those things lying in boxes for years without touching them is wasteful, while someone else could be using them. But she has a hard time parting with things, and whenever she needs some old dress from 10 years ago, she’s quick to point out that she has been right to tuck it away…

I’ve tried to share my concerns patiently and lovingly. I’ve tried to set boundaries, the main rule being that we do not keep any of that in the rooms, but she manages to buy bigger boxes and just keeps adding to the piles in the attic, with very rare attempts to get rid of something. That [Miracle] happens once a year during the spring when she unpacks some stuff, puts aside a thing or two, then proclaims that she has no time to sort it all, or that this stuff will certainly be useful for our future kids, or some other excuse… These excuses never come to the core of it, and she would never admit that she has a problem. I kind of knew we were different in that regard when we were getting together. She liked to joke that I’m such a minimalist I’d have no issues living in a barn, as long as there’s Internet and a laptop [which is not entirely untrue]... while she needs all sorts of “comfort things”, even when those are stuck in boxes or gathering dust in the garage.

Whenever I try to covertly throw anything shoddy away, we have a tantrum. Usually, she does not notice it immediately, and I’m sure if she didn’t adamantly label her boxes, she would never notice. She does not need those things! But the last time I dared to get rid of all her old magazines in one go [I needed more space in the garage], she noticed it three months later, and we spent days exchanging angry looks and reproaches, while I was lectured about all the reasons why I should have asked her first and why she needed those old worthless magazines...

What are my options? I understand that I can’t change her, but I don’t want her to get worse, like the old ladies that bring all sorts of junk into the house. I had a crazy thought to move to another place before we get married, just for the sake of decluttering and packing all the stuff we have [some of it could “get lost” before it gets to us]. But we haven’t yet fully paid off the loan for this house, and my pragmatic side tells me this will be a very costly solution. Perhaps someone could advise better ways to discard of old things without getting into another fight? Thanks.

F, 29. I don't have a good relationship with my employees. It's starting to affect me a lot. My team doesn't seem to respect me. I try to be friendly and understanding, but it doesn't seem to work. They often push back against my decisions. I think they question my authority, and it's wearing me down. When things go wrong, they expect me to take the blame for it when I’m not in the wrong. But I can't do that. I believe in accountability, and I think it's important to own up to mistakes

I'm losing sleep over this. I dread going to work because I know I'll face more resistance and pressure. I feel like I'm failing as a leader, and it's eating away at my confidence. It's hard to stay positive when it feels like nothing I do is right. They’re being lazy and I can’t force them to work. I've considered talking to my boss about it, but I'm worried about how it will look. I don't want to seem incapable or weak

I need advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation. How did you handle it? What can I do to improve my relationship with my team without compromising my values? Any tips or insights would be greatly appreciated.

I've been dealing with OCD for a while now and it's getting worse. I can't stop doing these rituals. Every day, I have to check the front door lock exactly 7 times before I leave the house. If I don't, I get this awful feeling that something bad will happen to my family. It doesn't stop there. I have to wash my hands for exactly 2 minutes every time I touch something that might be dirty. My hands are so dry and cracked now, but I can't stop. I know it's not logical, but my brain won't let me skip it. The worst part is, these rituals are taking over my life. I'm late for work because of the door-checking thing. My friends don't invite me out anymore because I take forever to get ready. I'm scared to touch anything in public places, which makes going out a nightmare

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you manage to stop your rituals? I'm desperate for any advice or tips. I just want to live a normal life without all these compulsions controlling me

hi, I’m new here. I have ADHD and struggle with binge eating disorder. I've been trying to lose weight for years. I honestly believe I won’t be happy until I change myself. I am overweight, and I need to lose weight to feel better about myself, and be able to maintain any connections with friends, also to have any serious romantic relationships.

The thing is, my binge eating isn’t always purely emotional. I do get lonely and isolated, and it may turn to food being my source of comfort. However, I have reasons to think my ADHD is highly responsible for my binging because my brain is seeking the easy dopamine it can’t produce in sufficient quantities on its own. I get a specific feeling from eating that I suppose is a dopamine boost. I crave carbs and am addicted to salty and sugary snacks. At times food is all I think about as I go about my day. It’s the only thing that consistently improves my mood, and, despite all the diets and eating plans, I always give in to binging in the end. I tried to restrict unhealthy products and deprive myself of them, but it only worked for a few days, and resulted in mad binging when I finally gave in to my urge.

I’m so desperate to lose this weight. I just want to feel normal about food and not associate it with misery. But I don’t know how.