I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder like a year ago, maybe even less. Before, I was taking multiple antidepressants, trying to cure my persistent depression for a few years, but without success. I've switched multiple jobs throughout the years and I always thought that I'm just lazy and/or too softspined, which might be true.
Right now my doctor and I are trying to find right medications that would work for me, but so far nothing seem to help. I think that my depression is still with me, but now I actually am not sure anymore. I've forgotten how I felt when I was normal. I feel like I've been lazy and unproductive my whole life, except the times when i was hypomanic.
Right now I feel like I'm trying to find excuses for my inaction in mysterious diseases that I have. I hate myself, I hate my life and I don't see a future for myself. Which is funny, because it is exactly how depression is described.
I'm starting to give up on normal life, with relationships, friends and other things that I had hoped for. I am definitely not trying hard enough to do something with it, but I just don't want to. If a person doesn't want to help himself, you can't help him, right?
Anyway, I don't know what I'm trying to do here. I was asked to try and find help in communities that share the same problem. But I feel like I'm beyond help, even if it sounds cringey. I'm sorry for being so dramatic, I just felt like it. Thanks for reading.
I am so happy and proud to hear that, we're mere strangers, but listening to success story made me feel overwhelmed, so happy for you, keep up with the good work, you're an inspiration to many
@shanaya
Thanks you. But I don't want to be stranger here. I want to help others to come out of the depression, disorder and trauma.
If I may, after 5 years, all medications are completely free from usage? Like mood stabilizer or lithium?
And how about some people who claim that being on medication might cause them to become infertile, from your experience, how true is it? Or in which case?