Hello guys, I am 34(M) and I was diagnosed Bipolar Disorder-I after pro-long depression and trauma. I was gone insane and admitted in mental ward. But help of medication and my will to comeback in life, I recovered myself fully. I took medication for 5 years and now without medication learnt to balance my symptoms and life.I understood possible causes and symptoms of Bipolar and I tried to address and resolve them. Finally I can we can defeat Bipolar Disorder by proper treatment, strong willpower and family support.

I know work problems are extremely common in people with bipolar disorder and I am no exception. One day I excel, the next day…yikes. I currently work for my best friend, it has been a blessing in many ways because he understands my needs and where I’m coming from. The problem is, I’ve gotten too comfortable with his understanding. When I’m having an off day, I take more breaks than I would if I worked for anyone else. Because…you know. He understands.

I’m starting to feel guilty because I worry that I’m taking advantage of his kindness. At the same time, there are days I would be genuinely unemployed through no true fault of my own, if he were anyone else…which often makes me feel even worse! He deserves someone reliable to support his business, instead he has me. And he won’t fire me, I’ll have to choose to leave if things get bad enough.

I can see his stress is building. Some days are so bad that not only am I not helping him, I’m also holding him back because he feels responsible for helping me through whatever I’m going through (you can see why he’s my best friend). He’s doing his own work (which consists of a full time day job plus our startup tech company), my work, and supporting me emotionally. It’s too much for one person which is partly why I’m here, to lesson his emotional burden at least.

When I think of leaving and getting another job, something more routine and where I could get fired if I don’t do my work, I freeze up. I’m a single parent of three kids. I live with my parents who help watch them, but it’s still a lot more responsibility for me as a parent than it would be if I were still married. I’ve spent most of their lives working, and missed out on a lot. With my friend, I get to work from home most days and can spend time with them. So here there’s a threefold problem, one of being terrified of getting a new job, and one of not wanting to lose the time with my kids, and one of being in a position where I get fired.

I just want to know how I can eliminate my habit of taking a mile when I’ve been given an inch. In a way I can continue to blame my disorder because impulse control is a known weakness in people like myself, but I don’t want to. I have enough awareness on those days to know I’m doing wrong, and I’m screwing myself out of the opportunity to take time off when I’m actually falling apart—because although he won’t fire me, there is still a limit to his patience.

I’m tired of feeling guilty. I’m the last person on earth you would ever expect to take advantage of a good situation, yet here I am.

I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder like a year ago, maybe even less. Before, I was taking multiple antidepressants, trying to cure my persistent depression for a few years, but without success. I've switched multiple jobs throughout the years and I always thought that I'm just lazy and/or too softspined, which might be true.

Right now my doctor and I are trying to find right medications that would work for me, but so far nothing seem to help. I think that my depression is still with me, but now I actually am not sure anymore. I've forgotten how I felt when I was normal. I feel like I've been lazy and unproductive my whole life, except the times when i was hypomanic.

Right now I feel like I'm trying to find excuses for my inaction in mysterious diseases that I have. I hate myself, I hate my life and I don't see a future for myself. Which is funny, because it is exactly how depression is described.

I'm starting to give up on normal life, with relationships, friends and other things that I had hoped for. I am definitely not trying hard enough to do something with it, but I just don't want to. If a person doesn't want to help himself, you can't help him, right?

Anyway, I don't know what I'm trying to do here. I was asked to try and find help in communities that share the same problem. But I feel like I'm beyond help, even if it sounds cringey. I'm sorry for being so dramatic, I just felt like it. Thanks for reading.

Hello, I have Bipolar Disorder since around 10 years ago. This led me through the years to several mood swings from being so much focused and super productive not even going to toilet, to slow period where my productivity decrease.

Since the last 2 months I started to manifest ADHD symptoms, and my productivity not just decreased, but stopped completely.

Basically I cannot focus on my project not even for 5 minutes. 

I'm spending the days either in bed or on the sofa, walking constantly to the fridge or the kitchen even for just a glass a water. 

My thoughts process goes incredibly fast moving from one thing to another without allowing me to focus. And this lead to procrastination: scrolling on social or spending time on Wikipedia for not usefull things.

And the project is just over there waiting for me to sit there at the laptop and completing it. It's not even that difficult.

But I keep saying to myself: I'll do it after breakfast. Then I'll do it after lunch. Then I'll do it after dinner. Then I'll do it the next morning. And it is a rinse and repeat.

And this make me incredibly anxious and nervous, and it is like a vortex, more I think about it, more I don't do it, more I postpone it, more I get stressed.

And actually I think I know the course of this situation. It's the situation in my family that cause it. I'm not comfortable at home.

So I decided to post it here to see if there is somebody to match. Somebody also with ADHD who is blocked on a project, with the goal to exchange some messages via this forum during the day, to support and motivate each other, to see if while checking on each other we can both move forward with our project.

🙏❤️