I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder like a year ago, maybe even less. Before, I was taking multiple antidepressants, trying to cure my persistent depression for a few years, but without success. I've switched multiple jobs throughout the years and I always thought that I'm just lazy and/or too softspined, which might be true.
Right now my doctor and I are trying to find right medications that would work for me, but so far nothing seem to help. I think that my depression is still with me, but now I actually am not sure anymore. I've forgotten how I felt when I was normal. I feel like I've been lazy and unproductive my whole life, except the times when i was hypomanic.
Right now I feel like I'm trying to find excuses for my inaction in mysterious diseases that I have. I hate myself, I hate my life and I don't see a future for myself. Which is funny, because it is exactly how depression is described.
I'm starting to give up on normal life, with relationships, friends and other things that I had hoped for. I am definitely not trying hard enough to do something with it, but I just don't want to. If a person doesn't want to help himself, you can't help him, right?
Anyway, I don't know what I'm trying to do here. I was asked to try and find help in communities that share the same problem. But I feel like I'm beyond help, even if it sounds cringey. I'm sorry for being so dramatic, I just felt like it. Thanks for reading.
Well I am glad you were aware enough about your situation my friend, where most of the people are not, I'm glad you took a step and decided to cure it and own it, though it's common but because of taboos in our society people often abstain from seeing psychiatrist, I am glad you took needed steps for yourself, I wish you the best for your further journey, just make sure you take meds on time and do not lose consistency over anything, moreover try joining some physical activities to keep you happy and active
WE'RE WITH YOU, STAND STRONG
I feel proud of what you already did to help yourself, which mostly people pull away from, I salute your awareness, you took the steps needed to fix your situation already whereas most of the people still try to assume of such situations as drama which is unfortunate, but I am proud of you for real, just make sure nothing effects you, no words from people, nothing, care about yourself and nothing more, and stay strong, we're here for you
@stefan thanks a lot
@shanaya that's so kind of you ❤️