My OCD is crippling and, as my psychologist said, it prevents me from living a full life. It has been with me for many years, while I haven’t even realized. I thought it was just general anxiety and overthinking. I’m afraid my brain is stuck in this loop forever, since it’s been like that for too long. I’ve read that, if untreated, some mental illnesses cause real changes in parts of the brain that will never be back to normal again. When I asked my psychologist about it, she shrugged it off, and now I’m worried she either didn’t want to scare me or she doesn’t know, LOL.
She tells me to make a goal, the destination we should come to. I don’t really know. I want to feel normal again, and I hate going to therapy, but some parts of my OCD are sort of parts of me now? Like, I have “safe” numbers (3, 5, 7..) and I avoid all the others. Which makes me re-check if my door is locked three times in a row, just because only three times does the trick. Yes, it’s silly, but it doesn’t hurt anyone? I can’t honestly say it makes me unhappy.
On the other hand, I hate constant worries about things that aren’t even possible, and I dream to get rid of those! I obsess over the smallest details until I’m completely out of energy. Having intrusive thoughts about bad stuff that happened years ago is dumb and emotionally draining. I almost feel I’d be OK with even all these things, if only I could get rid of the stress and constant anxiety they cost me.
I know some people say therapy helps them a bit with OCD, but it can’t be fully cured. I also believe that certain medications help, but I’m afraid of the side effects. Is it actually possible to recover your old self? I think I just need a little reassurance or happy stories, IDK...
try not to let it consume you. she's with you now, and that's what matters most. you need to remind yourself that the past is just that..well... the past. focus on all the beautiful moments you're creating together. where do you see your relationship going in the future?
@zacharyw.12 I wanna marry this girl
@zacharyw.12 I’ve talked to her every time I overthink but I just feel like I’m becoming a pain
@ben suttie that's really beautiful man. look, if you're serious about wanting to marry her, you need to build that trust between you two. maybe try talking to her about how you feel? not in an accusatory way, but just being honest like "hey, i saw those pictures and they kind of got to me." see what she says. if you really see a future with her, these little bumps along the way are chances to grow stronger together. talk to her, be honest
@ben suttie no, you're not becoming pain at all. this is actually good that you're honest with her. i would rather my partner tell me when I do something wrong than them holding a grudge against me. talking is the most crucial part of any relationship, so you're doing the right thing, no need feeling guilty about very normal thing
R you guys a long distance? I'm asking this because my girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I get why you're overthinking it, I'm the same way. The thing is, most people have pictures from their past, and it doesn't always mean anything. Maybe she just hasn't thought about deleting them, or maybe they're just part of her memories. It doesn't mean she has feelings for him or anything like that. Maybe you could focus on building more trust and making new memories together? Like, even if you're far apart, you could do fun things on FaceTime or plan when you'll see each other next
Just try not to let those old pictures get to you too much
@Sevii yeah she lives in England and I’m in Cyprus for 2 years
@ben suttie nice! I've been dating my gf for 6 months now and we're still figuring things out. What kind of stuff do you guys do for dates? Like virtual dates and stuff? I could really use some ideas tbh. My gf and I try to watch movies together using those streaming party apps, occasionally play valorant (she's not really a fan of it though, haha). And have you guys met in person before? Sorry for all these questions, just really nice meeting someone who's in a long-dstance just like me
@Kathryn Oh man, cooking dates sound amazing! My girlfriend and I tried that once but I totally burned the pasta. We mostly stick to gaming and movies, but I'd love to try more creative stuff like that
It's funny you mention studying together because we actually do that too! She's in med school and I'm finishing up my computer science degree, so we're both always buried in books. Sometimes we just sit there in comfortable silence, doing our own thing
Have you and your partner ever tried those virtual museum tours? We did one last week and it was pretty cool, even though the internet connection was terrible and everything was super pixelated lol
The time difference is probably the hardest part for us, she's 6 hours ahead, so I'm basically becoming a morning person just to catch her in the evening. Worth it though!
@Sevii Hi guys! 🙂 I've actually been in a long distance relationship for like a year and a half now! It's so nice to meet other people who get it. For virtual dates, we do all sorts of fun stuff! We love doing cooking dates where we pick the same recipe and cook together on video call, it's hilarious when one of us messes up, usually it's me 😅 We also do game nights. Sometimes we just study together on call, which sounds boring but it's actually super nice just having each other there
@Sevii Virtual museum tours sound so fun! We'll definitely have to try that! 🌟 And omg, the time difference struggle is so real, we're 8 hours apart, so someone's always either just waking up or about to go to bed. We started this thing where we send each other random voice messages throughout the day, like little audio diaries! Sometimes it's just silly stuff like "omg you won't believe what just happened at the grocery store" or whatever. It makes the distance feel a bit smaller
She's choosing to be with you every day. It's natural to feel these emotions, but try not to let them overshadow the connection you share. Trust takes time to build, and it's okay to have moments of doubt. Just keep focusing on creating new memories together and strengthening your bond. The past is just a chapter in her life that led her to you
Try channeling these feelings into planning something special for your next date 🥰
Most people don't immediately delete their entire camera roll history when they're dating someone new. It's not because they're still hung up on their ex or anything like that. It's just that they haven't gotten around to it, or maybe those pics are mixed up with other memories they wanna keep. Think about it this way - she's literally on FaceTime with YOU, showing YOU her stuff, being super open and honest. That's actually really sweet and shows she trusts you! She's not trying to hide anything, which is lowkey a green flag tbh
The fact that you're overthinking this shows that you really care about her, and that's actually super cute! But you gotta remember -she's with YOU now. Those pics are just pixels from the past
Everyone has a past. What matters is the present and future. She's probably not even thinking about those pics, they're just sitting there collecting digital dust. You really need to work on building trust and security in your relationship. These feelings often come from our own insecurities (and that's okay, we all have them!)
@christopher_carlson heavy on everyone has a past. OP, you probably have people from your past as well. I keep pictures of my ex, not because I miss him, but because I want to collect memories. We traveled a lot together, so it's not so much memories of him as it is of those experiences
Hey, I feel ya. I completely ruined my last relationship because of these exact feelings you're having right now. I kept overthinking about little things, getting jealous over small things like mentions of her ex. I turned into someone I didn't even recognize, constantly questioning her, making accusations, and just being consumed by jealousy. God, I was so stupid
We would've had a perfect relationship if I hadn't let these thoughts control me. She was actually really loyal and caring, but I couldn't see it because I was so focused on the past that didn't even matter anymore
It's been 4 months since we broke up, and I'm still alone, still thinking about how I messed up something really good. The pain is real, and I miss her every day. What makes it worse is knowing it was all my fault
Please, please don't go down this path. Those pictures don't mean anything, they're just part of her past, just like you probably have parts of your past stored somewhere. What matters is that she's with you now, choosing to be with you, spending time with you
If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to just breathe, trust her, and focus on building our future instead of worrying about her past. Don't make my mistake. Don't let jealousy ruin something beautiful
I really hope you can learn from my mistakes because living with this regret really sucks
@adam1993 oh no 😭 I just got so sad for you., hope you're doing okay though ❤️ Take care of yourself and don't let your intrusive thoughts ruin good things
Focus on all the good stuff between you two! Like what are the things that make your relationship special? What are the moments that make you smile?
The truth is, everyone carries pieces of their past with them—in photos, memories, etc. Consider this—would you be the same person without your past experiences? I bet you wouldn't. I know that I would be a completely different person. Acceptance brings peace. The past can't be changed, but the future is yours to create. Stay present, stay focused, take deep breaths when these thoughts surfce. She's with you for a reason, man ❤️🩹
I've never really felt jealous in relationships. When I date someone, I actually like hearing about their past because it helps me understand who they are today. Every relationship teaches us something, even the ones that didn't work out
When these thoughts come up, you can try to redirect your energy into something positive that you like or think about fun things you can do together. The present is what matters most
I think jealousy comes from fear of not being enough or fear of losing someone. You can easily overcome this though by building confidence. When you're sure that you're an awesome person to be around, you don't need to have that validation from others
Try to see those pictures as proof that she's honest and open with you. She's not hiding anything, that's actually pretty cool when you think about it
What do you think you could do right now to help you feel more secure in your relationship?
its just pics. she's with u now right? stop stressing about the past, because you can't change anything about that
we just gotta let things be what they are 🤷♂️