My romantic interest and I have been seeing each other for 6 almost 7 months. We’ve had a few hiccups in between but it’s been smooth sailing since communication has somewhat improved. I enjoy holding space with him more than anything but due to the age difference (12 almost 13 years) and us both tackling a lot in our personal lives, having quality time is becoming harder.

Additionally, NSFW warning for mention of sexual intimacy, I suspect he has erectile dysfunction (ED). This doesn’t change the way I feel about him because I enjoy him as a person even when we’re not being intimate, but I’m unsure how to approach the discussion? He smokes, drinks, vapes and occasionally does drugs which I’m certain contributes to it among other factors. I’ve already done the research on ways to support someone with the condition but I also don’t want to seem invasive or unintentionally provoke discomfort. I’ve already affirmed I’m safe enough to be vulnerable with and he knows it. I also want to encourage him to seek healthier outlets to navigate frustrations he might not be comfortable discussing with me yet however knowing he’s situating a lot, I don’t want to overwhelm him.

I’m continually looking into resources to see what I can do on my end to educate myself prior to having the conversation but I just feel anxious about it all together. I have complications of my own that I’m fearful to share because I don’t want to worry or scare him but I want there to be open communication on both ends.

I've been hearing a lot of people lately talking about anorexia like it's some kind of disease or addiction... I just don't see it that way. For me, being anorexic was a choice, not a disorder. I made the conscious decision to restrict my food intake because of the constant fat shaming and bullying I experienced at school.

I was tired of feeling like I wasn't good enough because of my weight, so I decided to take control of my body and my life. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could be thin and attractive, and that's exactly what I did. So why is everyone calling it a disorder or an addiction? It feels like they're trying to take away my conscious actions and make me out to be some kind of freak.

I don't see myself as having an eating disorder. I see myself as someone who made a choice to change my body in response to the pressures and negativity around me. It was empowering for me to take control and transform myself into what I thought was more acceptable and desirable.

I understand that some people might struggle with eating disorders due to mental health issues, but that's not my experience. I'm angered by the way some people label it as a problem when it was actually a solution for me. I wish people would stop pathologizing my choices and just try to understand where I'm coming from...

I'm not saying that everyone should do what I did. For me, being anorexic was a way to cope with the cruelty and judgment I faced every day. It was my way of fighting back and reclaiming my sense of worth. So please, don't call it a disorder or an addiction! Call it what it is... a choice I made to survive in a world that made me feel unworthy.

a friend of mine advised me to write here

TW!

soo i’m not eating again. it's been a few days since i had a proper meal and i'm feeling weak and tired all the time, but also good about it in a sick ED-way. i know this isn't good for me, but i can't seem to make myself eat. i've been through this before& i thought i was doing better, but now i'm back in this place. i'm scared of food and of gaining weight, even though i know i shouldn't be. my mind keeps telling me not to eat. i'm writing this because i want to get better, i just don't know how