If you do not partake in your partner’s pleasures and do not encourage them, but wish to encourage a healthier lifestyle, then I think it’s exactly what you should do. And the only way I know to help a person quit doing any of that is to keep him accountable. You won’t be able to influence him by trying to avoid any discussions. I believe you can support him without confronting him. Just be patient and friendly, perhaps suggest spending more time outdoors, taking up some sport together, etc.
How do you feel about your romantic partner doing drugs, smoking and vaping?
My advice would be not to do anything in a hurry. Not that I’m saying you are rushing… Just take it easy. Such intimate questions may lead to resentment and misunderstandings. Erectile dysfunction can be for either physical or psychological reasons, the letter being more common and less evident.
I think you should definitely try to get to the stage where you both are comfortable to talk about anything, including your own complications. There should be complete honesty and openness between partners in order to overcome certain issues. I mean, even if your partner’s problem is purely psychological, he will likely need your help to overcome it. So finding that common ground where you both are not afraid to be vulnerable is absolutely necessary for this kind of thing.
Perhaps you could take care of the things you can control? I don’t know anything about your arrangement. Seems like you aren’t living together? Some health issues come from a bad diet and a lack of exercise. May I ask how old your partner is? I assume he is older.
Your partner obviously has a problem with substances. That might be the main culprit. Unfortunately, addictions can’t be cured unless the addict wants it, so however you prepare for this discussion, it won’t be of any help if your partner just likes to keep things as they are. So be prepared that the discussion won’t be easy or won’t end as you expected... Otherwise, you can start by sharing your own intimate things; this will help your partner relax and maybe be more prone to talk about his own stuff.
Hey, if you’re writing this, it’s fair to say it’s bothering you, even if you write that it doesn’t change how you feel about your bf. So talk to him! What happens if you’re wrong or if there were just a few unlucky attempts? If you’re right though, together you’ll find a solution quicker. Just be yourself and show your love!
I’m not sure what you can do on your end. Do you think you might be the problem?
If you suspect there is a mental component at play, then you can initiate a visit to a psychologist as a couple. It helps sometimes. :)
You’re probably not going to like me saying this but he has to make a decision and quit doing it all at the same time. Drinking, smoking, vaping and doing drugs sounds like A LOT of red flags to me. If he is going through rough times, you can find something that resonates with him and makes him want to start a new, drug-free life. It’s very hard, so I wish you all the luck! You may be his true and only support when he commits to quitting. Withdrawal times are super stressful. He may become more aggressive or closed. But with the help of a professional and your wholehearted companionship, all his symptoms will vanish over time.
Also, I know you worry about his health but try to think about what it means to you long-term.
How about writing a list of pros and cons and showing it to your partner to convince him to change his life for the better. You need to focus on making his life better, not yours ;) It’s very important if you want the right reaction from him.
If you’re serious about helping your romantic interest, he should see a GP. There’re plenty of medications both for his addictions and for ED. If he spends time with friends who vape and drink, you’d better spend more time with him in order to prevent him returning to the old ways. Avoiding triggers is key, as well as inviting him to take part in healthy activities, like going for walks or to the gym together. And constant communication is absolutely necessary to avoid shaming or any negative overthinking. So don’t prepare for too long, start talking.
Generally a person can feel embarrassed and guilty to talk about their Erectile dysfunction and consider themselves less manly. But before talking to him you need to understand how far do you feel it is true or its just your assumptions. You need to get your facts checked before talking to him or just ask him what does this mean before communicating directly that i know you have this issue. You can always say hey i don't know what "ED" means can you explain it to me. Observe his reaction, understand his response and then gradually make further conversation if you are sure about it. Don't jump into hasty conclusion with assumptions.
In certain cases neuro-divergent could be smoking, drinking and vaping for numbing their emotional responses or for socialising as they feel akward otherwise. So it is necessary they take small steps to handle it. like deal with one at a time so first work on drugs then smoking then drinking. counsellor would help you in great deal with this but it will only happen if he wants to. But you can always try understanding why did he start alcohol, drinking in the first place. what made him to start or who. this way you will be able to understand the reason. if that reason is something you can deal with and help him then see how you can do it.