I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. Cheating can be a destructive and hurtful act for all involved, and it's common to feel a sense of guilt and shame after such an event. It's important to remind yourself that you are a human being and that making mistakes is a part of the human experience. It's okay to feel guilty and ashamed, but it's also important to recognize that you have the power to learn and grow from this experience. Regarding whether or not to tell your boyfriend, it's important to be truthful with him and communicate your feelings honestly and openly. It's difficult, but it's important to own up to our mistakes and take responsibility for our actions. Trust is a crucial aspect of any relationship, and keeping secrets can lead to further damage down the line. It's better to be honest now rather than face the consequences later.

There is no guarantee that your relationship will survive infidelity. However, with honest communication, a commitment to rebuilding trust and working together to address any underlying issues, it is possible for some couples to work through this difficult situation and come out stronger on the other side. If you decide to seek professional help, therapy or counseling may be a good option to help you both navigate the complex emotions and issues that arise from this situation. But I'm not sure if he'll be willing to go down that line

First and foremost, it's essential to acknowledge and sit with your feelings of guilt and shame. These emotions are a natural response to actions that go against your values and the bond you share with your boyfriend. Understand that your current suffering is a part of this cycle, and it provides an opportunity for growth and learning. Meditation can be a powerful tool to help you navigate through this. By practicing mindfulness, you can develop a deeper awareness of your thoughts and emotions without being overwhelmed by them. Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. When thoughts of guilt and shame arise, acknowledge them, but don't cling to them. Let them pass. Consider the Buddhist principle of "right action." Right action involves acting in ways that do not cause harm to yourself or others. Reflect on this principle when deciding whether to tell your boyfriend about your infidelity. While honesty is important, it's also crucial to consider the potential impact of your confession on his well-being and the relationship.

It's important to practice self-compassion during this time. Beating yourself up will only prolong your suffering. Recognize that you are human and capable of making mistakes. Forgive yourself, and commit to learning from this experience. This doesn't mean you should ignore the harm caused, but rather, approach it with a mindset of growth and improvement.

I've been where your boyfriend is right now, and let me tell you, it's not a place I would wish on anyone. When my ex cheated on me, it felt like the ground had been pulled out from under me. The betrayal cut deep, and it wasn't just about the act itself. It was the lying, the deception, and the realization that the person I trusted the most could hurt me in such a profound way.

You say you're drowning in guilt and shame. Good. You should be. What you did wasn't just a lapse in judgment; it was a conscious decision to betray someone who clearly cares about you deeply. Every time you think about the thoughtful gift your boyfriend gave you, remember that it came from a place of love and trust. And then remember how you shattered that trust.

Telling him the truth is the least you can do. He deserves to know what kind of person he's been investing his time, emotions, and love into. Yes, it will hurt him, and yes, it might destroy your relationship. But he deserves the chance to make an informed decision about his future, just like you made your decision when you cheated.

If you're wondering whether the relationship can survive this, that's not for you to decide alone. It depends on him and whether he can find it in himself to forgive you. But don't expect forgiveness to come easily, if at all. Trust, once broken, is incredibly hard to rebuild. It takes time, effort, and a lot of emotional labor, mostly on his part.

And let's be real: even if he does decide to give you another chance, things will never be the same. You'll have to live with the consequences of your actions, just as he will.

So, should you tell him? Absolutely. But don't do it expecting sympathy or an easy path to reconciliation. Do it because he deserves the truth, and because facing the consequences of your actions is part of being an adult. If you can't handle that, then maybe you're not ready for a serious relationship in the first place.

And one more thing: take a long, hard look at yourself and figure out why you did what you did. If there's any hope for you to become a better person, you need to understand your own motivations and work on them. Cheating isn't just a mistake.

@reymundofeil317 10000%. I simply cannot understand how you could do this to someone who loves you so much. It baffles me. When you are in a committed relationship, there is a level of trust and respect that should never be broken. Cheating is a serious betrayal. It's not something that happens by accident. It takes planning and a conscious decision to go through with it.

I can find excuses for a lot of things, but not this one. Cheating is a line that should never be crossed. It’s a betrayal of the deepest kind. When you love someone, you are supposed to protect their heart, not break it. It's heartbreaking to think about how he will feel when he finds out. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Without it, there is nothing to build on. When trust is broken, it takes a long time to rebuild, if it can be rebuilt at all.

Take responsibility for your actions and understand the impact that your choice to cheat has on your boyfriend and the relationship. You need to be aware that this action is a serious violation of trust and boundaries, and that coming clean about it is the first step in the recovery process. Consider the consequences of your actions and how they can affect everyone involved. Coming clean about cheating can be painful for everyone involved, but it's crucial in order to move forward and start the healing process.

@stargirle Right. Idk how they gonna fix it but hopefully he moves on as quickly as possible..This type of things can affect your self confidence on a different level. I understand that we all make mistakes but I just can't understand cheating. Like...why? Just why?

@butterfly_effect Thank you for your understanding and kind words. Your perspective on guilt and shame as natural human emotions helped me a lot. I never imagined I would find myself in such a situation, and the weight of my actions is something I carry with me every day. The guilt and shame are constant, sometimes it feels like I'm suffocating under that pressure. I appreciate your advice about being truthful and communicating honestly. The thought of confessing terrifies me, but I understand that keeping this secret might only make things worse in the long run. Trust is indeed a crucial aspect of any relationship, and I fear that withholding this information could further erode the foundation of our bond.

It's comforting to hear that making mistakes is part of the human experience. I've always held myself to high standards, and this lapse in judgment has shattered my self-image. As I contemplate telling my boyfriend, I worry about the immediate and long-term consequences. Will he ever be able to trust me again? Will this revelation irreparably damage what we have? These questions haunt me, and the fear of losing him is overwhelming.

@domenico43479 The uncertainty of whether our relationship can survive infidelity is something that weighs heavily on my mind. Your mention of honest communication as a crucial component gives me hope. The idea of committing to rebuilding trust and addressing underlying issues resonates with me. I know that what I did was not just a momentary lapse, but deeper problem that need to be addressed.

@Orlando Thank you for your thoughtful and compassionate response. Your approach to acknowledging and sitting with feelings of guilt and shame is something I haven't fully embraced, but I see the wisdom in it. Self compassion is a concept I've struggled with. The inclination to beat myself up for my mistakes is strong, but I understand that this only prolongs my suffering. Your advice to recognize my humanity, forgive myself, commit to learning from this experience is something I will strive to embody. I am grateful for your words. Thank you!