last time i explained examples of manipulative moves my abuser used and i remember basically each situation. tonight i was searching for keywords in my messages for something totally different, and i randomly found a convo of me asking my best friend if i'm crazy or my abuser was really gaslighting me, and i totally forgot about this one evening and this specific tactic.
the explanation was saying that:
for the 183929th time i was the only one who found ideas for my abuser and i's writings. in the situation i told my idea, and right after my abuser said that they had the EXACT same idea, what a coincidence.
i told them that i noticed it's not the first time they say that ONLY after i revealed my plots, so why do they never say it out loud at first if they actually have an idea? (especially that it's been years i told them i'm open, encouraging and waiting for them to take equal part in creation because i'm really interested in what she can share, also because until now they stole ideas from me, made me do everything and took credits for it etc. so basically someone that doesn't look like they actually have ideas from their own brain.)
abuser replied "i knew you would say something like that." this type of cold sentence was smth she loved to do: guilt tripping by focusing on my very normal reaction instead of discussing her confusing behavior. as if i was the one starting drama.
i said politely (i don't remember the exact words so here it looks harsh becaus eit's the version i sent to my bff) "so this means you're aware of your actions if you knew how i was about to react, you knew you were not involved and you knew if i don't say anything you would still go on on taking advantage of me"
then she invented a new excuse, the one that always work as a vulnerable narcissist to play victim and make you look like you are harassing them to make you regret "i had no courage to suggest my idea.." please stop fucking lying. to describe her person: imagine someone claiming they ARE a writer, anytime she can put her oc in the spotlight even when it's supposed to be my birthday she will find suddenly an idea to make the day about her, she can find ideas only when it serves her person, someone that love praise, so please don't tell me you were afraid. you just want to make me look as if i was unwelcoming when it's just that you don't care and use me like a milking cow. she just wanted to save her ass thinking lying like that can actually work "let's make her believe i'm also working on it" because it's blurry you know, it's like feigning memory issues, well you know the opposite can work too i mean we don't have proof of what you say is true.
i can't believe i let that pass, maybe because i thought it was not "enough" you know just subtle enough to make you think you're making a big deal out of it, but you certainly feel totally desoriented after that, because this word salad doesn't make any sense with your usual behavior. even now i have a hard time to explain all the details of how twisted it is. my best friend was shocked of how much lies she can say and thinking she can go away with it.
