Hopeless kid who's finding hope

Hey there, I'm Muskan and I'm 19yrs old . My life is complete mess . Let me explain how , my parents don't like and even they told me to die or someday they will kill me . Idk why they wanted me died like i did everything to please them nd now I'm tired of this . Me and my parents often argue over things , according to them i should stay at home nd should marry . Just because I'm a girl it doesn't mean they can treat me like shit. We're three siblings, my two brothers are my mother's favourite child for them my mother even die , and for me I'm their useless child . Just because I can't get love from my parents, I was finding love outside nd because of this i easily get attached to people and maximum time they abandon me . Like my boyfriend, he abandon me every time for his friends and stupid me , I still want him . Idk why I'm still living. I should end my life. There's no one for me