Post
kl
klock
1y ago

how do you handle a bunch of kids on your own?

I want to help my friend. Maybe you can tell me something. I was listening to a Buddhist monk, and he said that one should try to help at least one person every day. So I've decided that person is my friend. She's a vulnerable, defenseless, creative person. When she got married, her husband seemed like a strong man. she wanted to lean on him, and be calmer, because she herself was very weak inside. At first everything seemed to be fine. She had the baby. And then her husband said that his ex-wife was not raising his three sons well, and since they have a family, these sons should live with them. It turns out that the friend has a newborn baby and 3 other boys, whom she does not know. And they know she's someone else's aunt. and she can't handle the kids at all. The husband does not help, as he thinks that the wife stays at home and "what else should she do". I can't visit her myself, she moved to another city. And how to help her remotely...

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Veena Choudhary
1y
Specialist

HI.

If you want to help your friend then there are few things which needs clarity. Ask her:


  • Ask her to think and answer why does she have to take the responsibility?


  • Is she happy to take the responsibility? is she ready to be a step mom?


  • If she is not happy then how can she deal with it? can she talk to her husband and be honest about it?


  • if she is ready to take the responsibility then how is she planning to handle the kids?


  • How is her relationship with her husband?


  • Is she ready to take the responsibility just for her husband?


she needs to get clarity on these questions to be able to take a decision. You have to just equip her to make this decision by asking these questions.


Work on her self esteem:


  • when you say she is vulnerable why do you say that?
  • why do you say she is weak?


Does she feel the same about herself. You need to find out that. work on her self confidence and esteem. Show her the strength she possesses and ask her what she thinks her strength are. Tell her to write everyday one strength about herself elucidating with an example and you will tell a strength about her with an example. Positivity will give her the confidence to stand for herself.

fe
feel
1y

I liked the monk's idea of helping others) I will try it) I am very good at planning and doing several things at once. So if you keep all the kids busy with one thing, you can get some rest)

es
estrella
1y

I'll try to help! Children need to be kept busy all the time, to gain their authority and only then to sanction them. And remember, every child is different.

kl
klock
1y
Author

@Veena Choudhary Thank you!!! great tips!!! I will apply all of them on my friend!

ma
markscaleigh
1y

Dealing with kids is always hard.... And if the kids know she's not their own mother, it's even worse.... Long labor, love, patience!!! These are the secrets of dealing with children

jb
jbahringer
1y

It must always be hard with kids!!! That's why you need to change your philosophy of life to one that allows you not to worry about mistakes and failures.

lesch
1y

there were a lot of us children in the family, too. And we somehow coped "with ourselves". Mother was busy, and she was not up to us. But we grew up independent

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