when you talk 24/7 with a person it can happen not to reply to some msgs that don't require an obligate response, but when it only happens when it's you sharing about your life well..
lemme give some examples:
friend M, it happened a few times she didn't reply to some of my texts or react and talk about her instead, first we don't mind being on delivered for hours because we work, like last time she sent me various videos but i was on a panicking episode so i couldn't reply fast. she double texted me later saying "go to see my vids!" i replied "oh wait i'm coming back i'm just in anxiety moment right now" to warn her politely, and she never send a word of support about it? she only replied when i finally reacted to her vids, nothing about my feels. and she is the kind to stress a lot so if she is being bothered when it's my turn it would be not cool.
today she asked me if i would be at her celebration next time, i said i already planned my day off just for her, then she asked if i stay over at the sleepover of her friend, and i said i couldn't because the early morning after that day i have to be at a convention because i own my own presentation for the first time, and she didn't even congratulated me for that, she just said something about being safe when going home from the party.
earlier that day btw i told her, one of my male colleague is starting to be really intrusive, she said she would reply later to that because she was stressed about her exam, i encouraged her but she never came back for my story and i didn't want to beg for it, but i don't mind this because the situation here was different.
also i have an abusive mom and i feel i can't share it to her because i feel bothering.
i remember a time she sent me pictures, i reacted, and she said later that day "the fact that you didn't even react to my pics lol" i did, it was a glitch of the app we had the proof, but i found this kinda hypocrite knowing that she ignored me many times.
then we have my other friend J, nothing related to M, but displays some of the same signs, as if i'm attracting people like that. the thing is that they are both reaaal introverts, always claim they either don't like being in the spotlight or ignored by others but then why do you treat me like this behavior you claim you hate and to go thru?
my friend J is talking in circle about one and only topic since months, cds, and i always listened to her, she asked me about my day and i replied about my new passion along the replies to match the topic about her collection, and guess what? she only replied to the texts about herself even though all were sent at the exact same moment, so there is excuse not to reply to it, i mean it's not an accident of not seeing it but deliberate. she already did this one time when i was in a real bad moment, she disappeared the moment the convo shifted to me while she asked for news.
also i noticed something, earlier she said to me while sending long paragraphs "i have no one to talk to so blablabla" and not "since i wanna talk to/with YOU i blablabla" i don't know if you will get me but it sounded more like, i chose you because you are always devoted to give attention but not because i like sharing a moment with you?
all this makes me feel that i'm appreciated for how i make them feel and not for me.
by the past i've been abused and i ALWAYS communicated when people took me for granted like that and it ended bad. these ones are not abusive but you know after experiences there are some signs that some behaviors are just like that and there is nothing you can do, i can't beg someone to treat me well it should be normal decency? i'm just thinking that there is no point in saying it to them because it's in their "core" you can't change their way of being, so i just show i'm less available and try to give the same energy you know and i'm tired of trying to fix things. did it ever happen to you? how did you handle it?
