Post
xy
xyanaInSpace
1y ago

I am diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder and my therapist dumped me. I feel so alone

I apologize if I’m not using this for the right purpose. I’m so desperate 😞

My second therapist dumped me this morning, saying something completely rubbish about not being able to help me. Am I such a bad person to work with? Is my diagnosis so rare or horrible? I’ve been diagnosed with an unspecified dissociative disorder. Later on, my second therapist, who now dumped me, called it dissociative identity disorder (DID). It’s been very stressful to live with it for the last fifteen years. For anyone who doesn’t know what it is, it feels like having different people inside of me, each taking over when I can't handle certain emotions. There's the Childlike version of myself that emerges when I'm feeling shy or vulnerable. As if I regress to a younger, more innocent version of myself. It reflects the part of me that was deeply affected by the traumatic events of my childhood. Then there's Misery, who shows up when I'm upset or sad. This part of me feels like inner paralysis, lacking emotions and making me feel numb. Lastly, there's Mania – that’s how my second therapist called it. I used to call it Party Person. It appears when I'm feeling extremely high-spirited and carefree. This version of me is wild, wearing clothes I wouldn't normally choose, indulging in excessive drinking and smoking, and sometimes doing things I wouldn't do otherwise. When a different personality takes over, I completely black out, and I have no memory of what happens when one of my other identities manifests itself. I’m almost totally losing control of my own self. This used to be very frightening and disorienting, especially when I "came back" and realized that I'd switched to a different identity without any recollection. Over time, through therapy with my first doc, I’ve learned to control the manifestations of my different personalities to some degree. I can recognize the signs of an impending switch and get prepared for it. It’s being hard to accept myself like this, but I’ve learned to coexist with all the other identities. I largely attribute my success in coping with this to my therapy, and I’m devastated that I need to search for another therapist *again*! Is it typical for therapists to say they can do nothing for you? It reinforces my feeling of being a bother to everyone... I’ve actually cried this whole day...

Specialist answer
Veena Choudhary
1y
Specialist

Hi,


It's sad and hard to hear this that you are not able to continue with the same therapist but you deserve to know why. it would be impossible to say something without knowing the context of what happened between you and therapist. Do not make a judgement that you bother everyone without reflecting or gaining an insight of what happened and why? Do not blame yourself as you cant be blamed for this.


It could be that person doesn't have an experience or in-depth knowledge to deal with what you are going through. True healer would generally know his/her limitations and when they are not in comfort zone to handle the case. If that is the case then ask her to refer someone else who is expertise in handling this.


You should also reflect if there is any way you are unintentionally sabotaging the progress like do you show up regularly for sessions, do you listen and willingly to sit and discuss things with him honestly, do you do all the activities discussed in the session.


it could also be that there was not much improvement happening so therapist would have felt its best that you try for another therapist who can help you in a better way. This is ethical thing to do if she feel she is not helping you and its good if she is being honest in this case. so instead of blaming, accusing yourself as being a bad person. i would suggest talk to the therapist to know the reality and look out for a experienced therapist.

Säde
1y

This is bizarre… It’s unfair that your therapist did not further explain why they think they can’t help you, or didn’t give a recommendation whom to turn to with your problem. I find it rather unprofessional. I’m sorry this happened! I can only say if this happened, that therapist wasn’t the right fit for you. Hang in there, you’ll find a better one!

dr
dr gerrwig
1y

I wouldn’t dismiss the possibility that your therapist has had a mental health crisis of her own. It’s a rather stressful and emotionally demanding job. They are only humans. Don’t take it to heart. It’s not through any fault of yours. You matter, and you will get help elsewhere.

Ai
Aileen
1y

In my opinion, it’s a good thing when a therapist is openly admitting they’re not the right fit for you. It means they care about your well-being more than about money and personal career. I can think of numerous reasons why your therapist said that. For starters, she might be unqualified to work with your issue – she doesn’t have the knowledge, as simple as that! Something in this issue might be her personal trigger, in that case therapists are not allowed to work with clients. It could be something else, completely unrelated. Try to see it from their perspective: if they’re aware of their own limitations in working with DID, they’d break the protocol if they continue sessions with you. I wish you to find help quickly and easily, someone who is better equipped to support you!

ca
call me Rebecca
1y

My first therapist ghosted me after some misunderstanding with my insurance company... I’ll never trust another one without a direct recommendation from friends or acquaintances! It’s so irresponsible!

alien Darsy
1y

Might be simply a conflict of interests? Or any kind of personal reasons, really. If I were you, I’d search for therapists who specifically work with dissociation. I don’t know if it’s a rare diagnosis, but I do know that therapists specialize in some areas, and you won’t get as much progress if you choose someone with completely different expertise. I’d also ask my potential new therapist about the methods they’re using, how they’re handling switches (should be relevant in your case), and what they think is the goal of sessions with them. Things like that. I’ve had a whole list of questions when I was looking for a therapist.

oo
oompa_the_hermit
1y

Finding a good therapist is a bit of trial and error, to be honest. You may go through a couple before you find the one for you. It’s like a relationship; it should click for both sides. I literally had therapists and psychiatrists tell me that my mental health issue was no big deal. Think of it as a natural part of your healing journey. It’s fine to change therapists. It helps you tackle your problem from different angles and with various approaches.

Ne
NextLevel
1y

No worries, you’re using it for the right purpose. :) We all ask questions here and share things that bother us. If your therapist thinks he can’t help you, it’s a blessing he’s gone. Don’t cry over it. It’s completely normal if you’re incompatible. Don't let this unfortunate experience rob you of further progress and improvement. You deserve it, and you’ll find it. I wish you the best in finding the support you need to heal!

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