Post
Sa
Sam
1y ago

i cannot process infidelity

When I was 18 years old, I was in a relationship with a guy I loved the most. He seemed more important to me than anything else in my life. And one day he told me that he was cheating on me and that fact tore me apart. I took 5months to process that. I tried to forgive him and continued our relationship but certain situations kept triggering me which I used to express and it led to arguments between us. Then one day he got tired of my complaints and dumped me. That has a traumatic impact on me and it still stays and now again after 3 years I'm in relationship with another guy. He seemed perfect at start. He made me feel secure but now that he's still in good terms with his ex and I feel her ex is a threat to our relationship. The same case is happening. My present boyfriend is tired of my complaints about my insecurity and problems and feels that I'm unable to give him peace. I'm scared if he might start getting peace from his ex. His ex will come to our college as our junior and their closeness will increase. Leading to an increase of my trauma.

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sh
shanaya
1y

Look you should accept one thing that your insecurity about yourself and your complaining behavior because of that will create problems for you not them, you should build enough self confidence, you should choose yourself that'll the most sane thing

Edited
bu
bubu
1y

If you're so unsure about yourself insecure then how can someone else count on you or love you

First step is always self love.

Self doubt and criticism is good for nothing it undermines you

Sa
Sam
1y
Author

@shanaya hey, i totally agree but his behaviour towards me slowly changing and I can totally feel that. The efforts have reduced, he's talking about how good it is to be single and finding new friends, he's replies are dry. Physically he's more lustful nowadays as I feel than loving me. There's a *significant change in his behaviour and I can feel something is not right. Moreover he talking to his ex has increased so significantly that he doesn't has the energy to talk to me in a day. I'm just telling him these problems or changes that I'm noticing. It's not like I'm complaining over petty things. But still nothing is coming out of it. Please suggest me something.

sh
shanaya
1y

@Sam petty things?!?! Honey these are very evident changes, and expressing what you're feeling in the relationship is not complaining, it's your right, and if a relationship doesn't provide you this safe space of being yourself, expressing what you feel, questioning things then you're not in a relationship you're in a prison, if you feel changes which are not for the good and if your intuitions say something is wrong then try communicating about it and if he walks out of the conversation then you my girl you walk out of this toxic relationship okay?!?!?


You're strong and beautiful and desirable don't settle for someone who isn't obsessed with you

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