Tbh idk what's wrong with me. I used to love school, I had so many friends, and everyone loved me. My family used to understand me.
But after since lockdown got over, and schools started, I haven't been the same. The first month of school was okay. I don't remember when, but I hate going to school now, everyone has started to hate me, ppl act like I don't even exist.
The school gave me anxiety, yes. My hands and feet turn cold, I can't breathe and everything. The past year my sister who is a hydrocephalus patient, went through the same thing in November. my parents did everything they could. But, I went through this last August ( and I still am). I didn't even tell my parents about it and got counselled in my school and stuff. That didn't help me but I acted like it did.
It's been a year, I opened up to my mom a few days ago, and she said she doesn't want to go through the same thing that she went through with my sister all over again. She said I am running away from school and making up things.
I feel like my parents, that they think that I can do everything alone. But I can't I need some help.
I feel like ending my life because I am of no use to anyone.
I want to cry all the time. And sometimes when I cry, I cry so much that not a single amount of energy is left in my body. I can't take it anymore.
I am not able to keep up with school, while all my classmates can. I am behind everyone and everything. I wish to die.
Sometimes I wish I could get cancer or something so that I could get a little more attention. I am so confused rn. I can't seem to stop crying while writing all this.
