It's so frustrating when people don't acknowledge that you're an adult with the capacity to make your own decisions. It's not right at all for him to presume that he holds some kind of superiority over you. I hate it when people with mental problems are treated like children. We're not children! We have the ability to advocate for ourselves, to make choices, etc... We don't need a babysitter.

P.S. I was very confused by the fact that he completely contradicted himself when speaking to you. UNACCEPTABLE. Why doesn't he keep his word? It's just not right.

@sarahchristiansen663 great statement. I had dated a girl, who constantly was trying to control my every move (hopefully, that’s not how it is for you and your bf, megan). but she always assumed that I needed some sort of help (I never asked). she once gave the advice that I shouldn’t get my driver’s license because I have anxiety. first of all, I didn’t ask. second of all, it was said out of the blue (the conversation was not at all about driving). and it was a constant thing she would do. I asked her once why she was saying all this stuff to me. the reply KILLED me. are you ready? I don’t think so, but she said that she thought that I needed help because I seemed to be struggling. she believed that she was helping me grow and navigate life's challenges. I was stunned. I appreciated her concern, but it felt more like an imposition on my personal space

@greg That’s nuts to me. I had always valued my independence and the ability to handle everything by myself. Somebody’s constant interference would suffocate me.

@sarahchristiansen663 I know, I felt pretty much suffocated lol. it wasn't just about the driver's license, it was about every single decision I had to make. she had an opinion about which job I should take, what food I should eat, even what clothes I should wear…

there was a time when I was considering a job offer in another town. It was a great opportunity for me. but, of course, she was against it. I tried explaining to her that her constant unsolicited advice was causing me stress. I wanted to make my own decisions, learn from my own mistakes. but it seemed she was not ready to understand or accept this. eventually, we had to part ways. It was a difficult decision because I loved that person. I learned a lesson from that relationship - the importance of respecting personal boundaries and allowing others to make their own decisions. I hope she learned it too tbh.

I honestly think your boyfriend cares for you a lot. I don't think he means you any harm, he's trying to help in any way he can. I don't really agree with the other comments. Having complete control over your partner's life and counseling together are completely two different things. I think he's trying to figure out what he needs on his own and is discussing it with you. Talking out issues in the relationship is very important and it's awesome that you have that! Of course, it's important to find compromises that will help in your situation. For example: what if the two of you lived in multiple cities, still seeing each other occasionally? I know that's not an ideal solution, but it's a compromise.

I'm an anxious person by nature. For as long as I can remember, I've always been anxious about something. Even as a child, I could not calm my restless heart haha. So I understand both you and your boyfriend. You both want the best and if it is your sincere desire, then despite all the problms, you will have a happy future! I can already see it. He's probably worried and, as you rightly wrote, scared. Moving is a big step in anyone's life. It is something to be taken seriously. It is indeed not an easy phase when dealing with such issues, like where to move to, when and if it should be done at all, etc. Fear of change seems natural to me, but maybe it's just because I've been an anxious person all my life. Here I am yapping again. Anyway, I believe that love will overcome everything, good luck!

@sarahchristiansen663 He dosent think he holds authority over me. I’m sorry I phrased it wrong. He is concerned for me which I understand and I know he loves me. I think he’s just as scared as I am

@greg Don’t worry he is not trying to control my every move. I am his first girlfriend and I think we are both learning even after 10 years how to compromise

Everyone please do not misunderstand my situation. My boyfriend is not said abuse is not an issue in our relationship. This is more about communication issues and compromise. My boyfriend would never hurt me.

@megan kohler I can see that. It means a lot that you're trying to compromise. Different desires in a relationship can drive you apart, but you're doing a good job for talking through it. A healthy relationship involves constant communication. What do you see as the solution to this situation? What would make you happy?