Im 16 and I lost my mother.

On the early hours of January 26th, I lost my mother very unexpectedly. Word is, she jumped off from the high rise building but knowing her, she would never ever do it. But that’s different.

Its been 2 months already and I don’t know what to do. I feel extremely lost and confused. I can still see the exact same spot that she died on. Sometimes I feel okay, but other times I collapse. I was also in a very happy 6 month relationship, and after he got to know what happened he ran away because he was scared. Bravery at its peak. Anyway, he came back and tried to make “amends” but of course that would never work.

Either way, back to my point. Whenever the phone starts ringing I get really anxious thinking that it is another bad news. That night, and the day of her funeral. It keeps on playing like a constant loop in my head. No matter what i’m doing or where i am. How do I cope? How do I deal? On top of that my family makes it worse by saying how they’ll never ever be able to heal from this trauma. My mother was a single mother so it’s not like I have a father figure either, and I have a 6yr old sister that I look after. Please, I need help.