Judy, hi!
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I myself have two wonderful daughters that I love dearly. I can't imagine how terrified I would be if they had something like this. Of course, it's important to keep a good relationship between you and your child, but it's a matter of life and death. The diet you listed comes in even less than the 600-800 calories you mentioned. In this situation I would not hesitate to act, you need to urgently take your child to a specialist who specializes in this kind of problems.
Don't be afraid to do this! I used to be opposed to therapy myself, but it has helped me tremendously in my family life. Without it, I wouldn't have what I have now.
It's important that you consult with a clinical psychologist. Potential anorexia should not be overlooked. Your child appears to be severely underweight, which could have serious health implications. I urge you to seek out a child psychologist specializing in eating disorders as soon as possible.
Judy, I completely understand where you're coming from. Navigating sensitive topics with teenagers can prove to be quite challenging, given their unique emotional dynamics and the complexity of the issue at hand. Have you considered taking the direct approach and initiating a conversation with your son about your worries? Openness and honesty, although sometimes difficult, can often help for a more productive dialogue. Maybe that's how he'll realize how serious the case is.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to seek professional help when dealing with an ED. Speaking as someone who is battling with an eating disotder, I can tell you that the journey is incredibly challenging with many ups and downs. It's terrifyingly easy to fall into a pit of denial and dismiss the severity of the problem.
From what you've described, it sounds like your son is resisting the idea of getting help. This resistance is not unusual. It's a common response caused by fear and denial. Many people with EDs initially resist treatment because they're scared or they don't believe they need help.
You mentioned being worried about damaging your relationship. I assure you that the potential damage from not intervening is far greater. As someone who's been there, I can tell you that looking back, I wish my mom had intervened when the early warning signs were apparent.
@Jor49 I was about to comment this exact thing. I hope everything works out well for her and that her son will be okay, I can only imagine how fearful she feels.
@bodewilber368 Yes, we've attempted to have a conversation about this issue on multiple occasions. The problem is, whenever we broach the subject, he tends to brush it off and becomes noticeably irritated. It's as if he has built a wall around himself. His body language changes drastically and he becomes more closed off. For instance, he tends to cross his arms over his chest and his facial expressions become hard to read. I've tried approaching the conversation from different angles. Unfortunately, these strategies haven't worked. It's hard to get through to him when he's in that state of mind. The lack of clear communication is taking a toll on our relationship and I am worried about the long-term implications if we can't find a resolution.
@fix me Hi there, thank you so much for having the courage to share your personal experience. It's really brave of you to open up about something so personal and I'm sure your words will be of great help to many people reading this. Can I ask you a few questions please? Your insights could be really helpful in my situation. If you can’t, that’s fine. I get it.
@Judy R. Absolutely, fire away! I am more than willing to provide as much information as I can. If my suffering helps even one person, I would consider it a victory. I have always admired people who were able to go through something and give guidance to others. I am very far from healing, but I hope I can help you. Knowledge is power, and understanding the mechanics of your son’s struggle can provide you with the tools to combat it effectively.
@fix me That's incredibly kind of you, thank you! What were the early warning signs in your case? We know our son is losing weight rapidly and he's become quite secretive about his meals, but I'm not sure what else to look for. I want to understand his struggle better so we can provide him the right kind of support.
@Judy R. Great question. In my case, the early signs were subtle and easy to dismiss as just quirks or phases. I started to become overly concerned about the nutritional content of my food. I would spend hours reading labels, calculating calories, and planning meals. I also started to exercise excessively, often to the point of exhaustion. Another warning sign was my changing relationship with food. I started avoiding social events where food would be present or making excuses to eat alone. The secretive behavior you've noticed in your son is definitely a sign. Also, watch out for an intense fear of gaining weight, a distorted body image, and mood swings.
Hi,
Teenager's sometimes do get defensive. it is the best if you approach him with curiosity than judging him. You could just start with saying wow its nice you follow a strict diet and then ask him how much calorie intake is right? how did he plan his meal, was he taking anyone's help and if he could also help you in setting a meal diet plan for you. You could also ask him so what are you planning to achieve with this new diet and ask him how can i support you. It is just to hit a conversation about diet by being inquisitive. This would also help him to share thoughts with you eventually as you are just learning and understanding than ridiculing him for measuring his calories. Exploring his thoughts without judging him would be the right tool to understand why is he suddenly choosing to lose weight. You just have to question him and make him aware of what is right or wrong on his own. Be supportive and curious about their intentions. This will help you to gain his confidence.