I'm having anxiety and depression

My depression started when I'm in highschool. Family problems, self dissapointments, confident lost, and crying every minute . I'm having a family problems that time and my family considered me as dissapointments they even tell me when I'm having an anxiety that it is better for me to die I'm not even important to them . even my friends left me and it's unfair that I'm always there when they needed me but when I need them they left telling that they have problems also and even backstab me that I'm just being dramatic. I didn't talk or smile for a month even my teachers are worried about me I can't talk all I want is to end my life that day because I feel like I'm not important in their lives. Even now that I'm 20yrs old They keep on blaming me for the things I didn't do . They have favoritism and it's my brother. Even my brother tries to abuse me kissing me at night when I sleep then I kick him using my legs and I keep silent until now because who would gonna believe me? Life is so unfair . I'm not studying now because they prefer to support my brother's study . And now they blaming me everytime. I feel like I'm gonna end my life again . It is so unfair life when in comes on me . I didn't even know when I feel happy and not pretending to be okey . I used to be having many circle of friends and talkative and cheerfull women but the pain chances me and everytime I notice again myself crying for all the pain . I can't even sleep at night and my body is getting tired already . Please someone help me because I don't have someone to talk to.