The worst thing that happened to me was my ADHD diagnosis. It didn’t explain anything, all the things I wasn’t good at are as they were. Nothing changes, and my psychiatrist pisses me off when she’s so confident I’m doing better now… What about my mental burnout? It maybe got 5% less severe since I’m on a low dose stimulant. My attention levels got a tiny bit better. But at the same time I’m more irritable and I don’t enjoy my meals anymore, it all tastes bland.

When I interact with the world outside my small circle of friends, I’m still left mentally exhausted... I think before medication I used to be more restless and talkative, and people maybe thought I was weird? But now half of my day is spent overthinking things that don't deserve nearly as much attention as my brain is giving them. I’m daydreaming non-stop. My emotions are still on overdrive, but they sort of dulled down a bit. So yes, previously there was too much of me, and people probably didn’t like me for that... But now, whenever I talk to someone, I worry that I'm boring them to death. Nothing I say feels impactful. I focus so damn hard on the information I'm trying to convey, struggling not to say something out of context, that I end up sounding expressionless and mechanical, like a goddamn encyclopedia!

Dating was always an ordeal, but now it’s slow agony... Do stimulants make me boring or just dumb? It's bad enough that I overthink every interaction and am going out of my way not to get distracted by random topics that most people find uninteresting. I literally find myself talking about things like the Cold War or the Moon landing half of the time. Before my diagnosis, I called myself a nerd, an introvert. Now I have to be glad that I officially have a mental disorder? Seriously, all I dream about is to learn how to keep the conversation flowing naturally, and also to turn off my overthinking. Explaining this to people is a complete waste of my energy. Most people outside my circle have no idea what “ADHD” even means. How do you live with your diagnosis, did your psychiatrist help you?

// Sorry for ranting I don’t want to sound mean. Guess I sort of need to vent off my frustration, and I have no one to turn to right now...

Women's ways of solving problems.

If you think that when I passed the exams and got my license, all my problems were over, you are wrong. Problems arose often, considering that I drove a car every day. My husband, when I passed my driver's license, said, "It's nothing. Try to handle the maintenance of the car. I didn't want you to learn to drive, and I'm not going to take care of your car." Because the driver has to do it himself.

I was offended, of course. Then I got angry and said to myself, "I'll figure it out somehow, I have to prove to him that I can." Besides, what could be the problem?

Pretty soon it turned out that I didn't know how to fill up my car, and I had to go to gas stations with gas station attendants. I didn't know where the button to open the tank was. They helped me at the gas station (I endured the laughter).

I complained to a friend and she said, "Put on a pink dress and pretend to be a silly doll" at gas stations and car repair shops, which is what I always do. I looked at her surprised and incredulous.

What do you mean, stupid? I'm smart. A friend said "it works." So I bought a pink dress (that's a silly women's dress to me) and wore it to go out on the town. "Don't forget the silly look", said the friend, "no glasses. I decided that if I wore bright colors, I'd look sillier.

Pink scarf, stilettos, the look is complete. I was driving and I was afraid that the car would go bad and I wouldn't fix it, my husband used to scare me about it all the time.

And I started to hear whistling after a few days. The thing is that I did not buy a new car, as I was sure that I would definitely crash it. And then the whistle!

I didn't tell my husband (what's the point?), and went to the car service in my pink outfit. With a silly look I said that there was a "whistling" in the car. And the master looked at me with the expression "what can I take from her, she has no mind at all" and started to look at the car.

It turned out that the belt "on the alternator" had dried out and stretched. The foreman was sure of his diagnosis. And reassured me "buy it and we'll install it right away". What do you mean buy? Where and how to choose it?

Enjoying the fact that he clearly surpasses me in knowledge, the master said that there are no belts for my car, but you can pick up a similar one in the store and gave me a belt in my hands. That means I have to buy it without a car, I can't drive.

I mentally wished the master that his wife would give him tights in his hands like that with the wish "buy tights with the same number of dans". And I went to the nearest store. In the store, happiness was waiting for me from the queue of men at the cash register.

Seeing my unhappy pink visage with the belt "on the alternator" in my hands, everyone started to help me. A discussion ensued as to which one to choose for my mini car. I could see that my friend's method was "working".

I began to breathe easier, and I started to play the image of a "silly blonde" more confidently. In the end, the men chose me a universal wrench for the car (I didn't have one), and happily, with a new belt in my hands, I went to the car service. Further shots of the winner: "they change my belt", and "I'm going home with a victory".

I confidently came home and my husband asked "how was your ride?", "what's with the silly dress?". I carelessly said (I wrote down the phrase in advance): "I actually changed the belt on the alternator today.

And this is my new favorite dress

A few months ago my conceiver sprung on me that we may have to take care of a distant relative and she’s calling me “selfish” for being upset about it.

For a little bit of background and context, I don’t have a good relationship with ANY of my relatives and consider myself estranged. At my earliest convenience I intend to go no contact because they’re everything from abusive to racist, shallow and self-centred, narcissistic and mentally/emotionally unsafe to be around. The only relatives I have contact with are immediate; the woman who birthed me, an older sibling, and 2 nieces and a nephew. Besides my conceiver, I keep VERY minimal contact with my older sibling and his kids, though I try to be more cordial and open with them.

The relative in question is a young girl who I believe to be no older than 10 but is a child of my conceiver’s brother. My conceiver’s brother is an abuser. A CRIMINAL with a record of repeated offences; everything from robbery, battery, assault, substance use/distribution and domestic violence. He has WELL over 10 kids, all with different women because he’s a deadbeat recidivist and has no intention of being there for any of the families he’s started. In the past he’s lived on and off with me and my conceiver which frequently resulted in fights; either between him and his partners or him and my conceiver. It’s gotten so bad that the cops had to be called multiple times.

Because he’s refusing to claim his daughter and her mother was sexually abusing her, her mother also being a drug addict and refusing to claim her, the system she’s in is looking to have relatives take custody of her. Unfortunately none of my other relatives can (or want to) and my conceiver has decided to make us carry the burden, and it bothers me.

It upsets me because while I empathise with her situation, we aren’t in a position to take care of another person when we can barely take care of ourselves. We don’t live in a safe neighbourhood, we’re in the process of filing an EOP against our neighbour who’s been threatening/harassing us for YEARS, and I’m STILL dealing with stalkers after being doxxed on social media 2 years ago. Additionally, me and my conceiver work full time and won’t be able to supervise her. Understandably she has additional accommodations because of her trauma which isn’t an issue, at least not for me since I’m in therapy and overcoming my own issues, but the other issue is I’m in the process of receiving gender affirming care (GAC) and will undergo surgery soon. I’m looking for someone to take care of me myself because I’ll be immobile and unable to work and I don’t trust my abusive conceiver to.

Overall, I’m not upset at the girl but my conceiver because she’s taking on more than she can handle and it’s going to impact me in ways I refuse to allow. My conceiver is conscious of all of this yet she’s still pushing to take custody. It also pisses me off because she’s not someone you can safely be vulnerable around and I fear she’s going to worsen both me and this girl’s mental health. And at the risk of sounding selfish, I’m not putting anything I’ve planned on hold to accommodate an issue my conceiver unnecessarily created. I know that’s going to create conflict but I don’t care, she knows it’s unsafe to bring this poor child into our living situation but she’s doing it because we’re relatives. Respectfully, it’s not our burden to shoulder and re-traumatising her isn’t worth it!

I'm trying to bring a friend home. I think that something happened to him suddenly. But what, it is not yet clear. It started that everyday. Or rather, Friday. We drank beer with him and another guy. It was dreary and boring. "Oh, nothing happens in life," we said. "And I would swim in the sea now," I said ... The sea is far from us, 8000 kilometers. Another friend said, "Where do we go... far away, and it's a pipe dream." My second friend sat silently. But it was evident from his face that he was somehow particularly pierced by these words. Suddenly, he stood up and said, "Guys, take me to the train station." We were surprised, but we went. When he "goes crazy", at least not boring. And he really silently went to the station, got on the first train and silently waved to us. We were shocked. But they also decided that a friend, of course, would get off at the nearest stop and come home. So we went quietly to drink beer. A week passed, and the friend did not appear. We thought he was sleeping at home, and the following Friday we started calling him. There was no answer. We searched for him for a month, and then he himself got in touch from the seashore! He got there!! He was happy! We were shocked. I blamed myself for giving the idea about the sea, and the person is happy. A friend hitchhiked. Then he got in touch and refused that he began to live on the sea in some kind of tent, to feel freedom and he had headaches. back and everything else. Now, every Friday, we go out with him and silently envy his freedom and determination. And I keep thinking, maybe he has gone crazy and needs to be treated? And as a friend, I have to do something as soon as possible, bring him home