I understand you completely. I have ADHD and binge eating as a nasty side effect. Every day I have to make an effort to remind myself that things are not as bad as I think. I repeat this like a mantra every time I start spiraling out of control. I’m saving up for paid therapy now, as many people said it’s the only option to keep my symptoms grounded
Hi, I just want to say that it's normal to feel frustrated when your brain is constantly racing and over-focusing on things that others might not understand. Just know you're not alone in this! As for other people, true it’s not always evident to them what it’s like. I find that honest conversations help. You can share articles, books, or videos that explain what it's like to have ADHD and how it impacts your emotional intensity and focus. It's not just a matter of "you being weird," but rather, your brain works in a different way than theirs. It’s your unique way of thinking!
Turning off your emotions is not healthy. You can find ways to manage them in a manner that feels comfortable for you. It's a process, and it's okay to seek help along the way.
Therapy, mindfulness practices, and medication can all play a part in this. I don’t know what stimulant you’re taking, maybe it should be changed, or maybe its dosage. If it affects your appetite and your mood, then it simply doesn't suit you. Have you complained to your psychiatrist about it?
Hang in there, we’re all in the same boat! And hey, if you ever need to chat about the Cold War or other such things, I'm here for it!
Allow me to disagree with you that discovering the reason is not worth it. Having an official diagnosis helped me understand myself better. Suddenly I knew that I wasn’t lazy, not trying hard enough, or a clumsy dreamer. When you finally know the reason, you can make your life better. I’m very grateful to my therapist who noticed all the signs and made me take the tests. It was a revelation. Since starting intensive therapy, I feel that all my symptoms have become much more manageable, if not silent. So if it didn’t help you, change your meds or find another psychiatrist.
Don't worry about venting! This is a very welcoming community :) Vent as much as you need.
As for dating, it’s an epic fail, regardless of the diagnosis. Adhd just makes it worse. You should be yourself, and the right person will like you the way you are. You seem to be into history, and, looking at your nickname, chemistry too? Well, that’s awesome! Be you, talk about everything you love. Either people get you or they don’t. You should focus only on those who get you, anyway.
I’m not sure the diagnosis changes anything for the good or for the bad. I don’t have ADHD, but I overthink just as much, so it’s not exclusive to ADHD. For me, it comes from personal insecurities and anxiety disorder. The one thing I practise is doing more things that help me clear my mind in the moment, like walking in the morning and writing down my thoughts in a personal blog. My brain automatically wants to overthink everything, especially the things that I care about. But taking it slow and finding myself in a state of inner calmness slows down my train of thought. I hope you’ll find your coping mechanisms too.
My interactions with strangers and acquaintances (like you say, not from the inner circle) are exactly the same. I wish I were like you and could at least seem smart and talk about smart things. But whenever I start a conversation with someone I barely know or when someone unexpectedly joins the conversation, my mind begins to plan what to say, and I realize I can’t come up with anything. It’s always so humiliating. I bet people think I’m retarded. I’d prefer for them to think I’m boring. :(
@Säde Thanks for interjecting. Yeah I might be overreacting. It’s kind of good to know that I’m not lazy or stupid, that my failures can be medically justified. Sometimes it feels like too much.. I just needed to get my thoughts out. Thanks for reading my stream of consciousness…
@tai05xo Yeah that’s how I feel. It’s the worst with new people for me too. I focus so hard that in the end I either stay quiet or say something out of place. Only being with friends reminds me that I’m not that boring haha
It is important that you vent out the frustration and we are here to listen. This will help you to process your emotion and quiets down the racing thoughts in your head. Even if your concern is a problem or annoyance that cant be fixed sharing your worry or journalling will help you feel better. a problem shared is a problem cut in half.
Generally some of our worries stem from unrealistic expectations of ourselves. Like in your case you said " previously there was too much of me and people did not like me for that" and "i am boring them to death". now answer this how sure are you about this? did anyone say to you that they are bored? did anyone they did not like you? or is it your mind overthinking this and ruminating this in your head. if that is the case then you need to reframe those negative thoughts more positively. if not you will caught in this negativity loop and recovering becomes difficult.
To keep your conversation flowing and natural you need to train yourself to ask question after you say couple of sentences. When the person is talking for the question asked you continue to repeat what the other person said in your mind. This way you involve the other person in the conversation and to make it interesting. now with the information he gave you continue back the conversation so it will be naturally flowing. If certain times you do get distracted just say sorry i think i got carried away in this conversation and with this topic. so what were we talking.
Before you can learn how to stop overthinking you must get to the root of the problem. You need to start becoming aware of when this overthinking happens is it when you are talking to someone you feel insecure, when you need to make tough decision, when you feel people may judge you. start becoming aware of when does this happen and try coming with solutions for it like:
pause and breathe.
do mindfulness activity to focus on the present like just notice a object around and name those, or you can just hold a object and describe how does it feel.
Try EFT tapping which will help you to self regulate your emotions and over thinking.
Medication with ADHD increases your attention span, manages executive dysfunction which has happened in your case but yes side effects like decreased appetite or bad mood is generally there. This generally gets better after few weeks of treatment as your body adjusts to this medication. if it doesn't then talk to your psychiatrist. she would change the dosage or prescribe another stimulant.
Worrying depletes the ADHD brain. It burns scarce mental fuel and makes you less able to take on a tough task when required. no amount of stressing will change what happened. but we can learn how to move forward.
Having an ADHD diagnosis can be challenging. However, it's important to remember that your diagnosis does not define you or your value as a person.
While overthinking can tell you about your ability to reflect on the past and recognize what you can do differently, it can also damage your self-esteem. It's understandable how frustrating it can be when others don't understand what you're going through. As your brain works faster than people without ADHD, you have more moments when your thoughts get stuck in a loop which means you also experience more of negative feelings.
However, there are a few strategies that might help with overthinking. One of them is noticing when you start overthinking (e.g. while doing chores, showering, shopping). You can write down what triggered it and how you felt to identify patterns. Identifying these patterns can help you create a specific plan and prevent the overthinking. For example, you can listen to a very engaging podcast while you're doing chores or set a timer on how much you'll be in a shower. If you notice that certain triggers make you overthink, such as feeling tired, stressed or sad, see how you can help yourself, for example, by giving yourself a break, taking a nap, doing something fun and relaxing.
Another way is writing your thoughts down in a journal. It can help you to process your concerns. For example, if you beat yourself up about something you said or did, try looking at this from different angle. Imagine that you're looking at it from an outside perspective and write down what good things happened during this situation as well, what facts support and contradict the belief that it went as wrong as you thought and what you can do differently next time. But sometimes it just helps to write everything down without analysing it - you may set aside specific time for it, such as 30 minutes a day.
If you still find yourself overthinking even after processing your thoughts, it can help to ask yourself if the worrisome thought is really rational or helpful, then give your mind a break by engaging in a fun and interesting activity. It's different for everyone but some examples are excercising, playing a board game, listening to music, helping someone. You can start by creating a list of activities you find fun and amusing then experiment to see what healthy distractions work the best for you. The key is to find balance by being aware of overthinking triggers, analyzing your thoughts constructively, and having go-to coping strategies ready when needed.