My OCD is crippling and, as my psychologist said, it prevents me from living a full life. It has been with me for many years, while I haven’t even realized. I thought it was just general anxiety and overthinking. I’m afraid my brain is stuck in this loop forever, since it’s been like that for too long. I’ve read that, if untreated, some mental illnesses cause real changes in parts of the brain that will never be back to normal again. When I asked my psychologist about it, she shrugged it off, and now I’m worried she either didn’t want to scare me or she doesn’t know, LOL.

She tells me to make a goal, the destination we should come to. I don’t really know. I want to feel normal again, and I hate going to therapy, but some parts of my OCD are sort of parts of me now? Like, I have “safe” numbers (3, 5, 7..) and I avoid all the others. Which makes me re-check if my door is locked three times in a row, just because only three times does the trick. Yes, it’s silly, but it doesn’t hurt anyone? I can’t honestly say it makes me unhappy.

On the other hand, I hate constant worries about things that aren’t even possible, and I dream to get rid of those! I obsess over the smallest details until I’m completely out of energy. Having intrusive thoughts about bad stuff that happened years ago is dumb and emotionally draining. I almost feel I’d be OK with even all these things, if only I could get rid of the stress and constant anxiety they cost me.

I know some people say therapy helps them a bit with OCD, but it can’t be fully cured. I also believe that certain medications help, but I’m afraid of the side effects. Is it actually possible to recover your old self? I think I just need a little reassurance or happy stories, IDK...

I've always been determined to succeed, starting from a young age. I excelled in school, consistently earning top grades until my undergraduate studies. Along the way, I pursued singing, participated in quizzes, and now I hit the gym daily, competing in weightlifting and powerlifting events. I also enjoy writing short stories — it's a passion of mine. While I may not be the most outgoing person, I take pride in my physical strength as a woman. Independence is a quality that defines me.

However, my mental health took a turn for the worse in 10th grade. The pressure from school and my parents became overwhelming, and I began to feel like a failure. At 16, I started struggling with severe and persistent depression, which has persisted into my 20s. I'm currently undergoing psychiatric treatment to manage my condition. I had attempted suicide twice, once by injecting sanitizer and recently overdosing on migraine meds. However, I sought help, and now I'm taking 3 meds per day. I don't want to die, although it may seem otherwise. I want a good life, but when I see I'm failing to make that life, I become suicidal. I need to stay alive until I succeed. My psychiatrist is helping me, but I still feel like I'm stuck. I also had anger issues when I didn't take meds. Now I don't have them, but as I've had them since my childhood, my mind feels empty, like something is missing. I'm pursuing a double degree in Chemistry and Education, and my life is so chaotic. I wake up at 5, go to the gym at 6 am, come back at 7:30, go to classes at 8:40 am, live in a dorm at my university, and have classes till 5:30 pm. It's too hectic. I'm currently on vacation, and my psychiatrist told me to slow down, but I'm struggling to do so. I fear for the future because I need a stable and high-income job too.

What do you think? Has anyone experienced anything similar to what I'm going through? If yes, please share your experience. If not, please offer me some advice.

Hello! I have a lot to say. I am trying to keep it short.There are lot of issues in my family.One among them is - My dad and mom had parted ways when I was 4 years old. My dad is a psycho. He always troubles our family. There are lot of issues between us in the court and police. I and my mom are currently in my grandparent's house.I do not have a sibling and cousin. I have two cousins,but they are kids.So, I dont have anyone to share my feelings. I do not have friends because no one in this world is interested to help with other's problems. Everyone wants to have friends only just to have fun. No one is true to no one. I just have friends only for formality both in school and college. I am not in touch with my school friends because of the reason I mentioned above. I am currently doing my 2nd year college. I dont like the friends circle here. It was not as expected. I have 2 good friends around me in college. But they too dont understand my problems. Even though they know that I have many issues in my life,they speak only about college matter and other fun stuffs. I always suppress all my feelings inside me since my school life and I got used to that. Now, it has led me into trouble. I cant tolerate it anymore. I want a person to share my feelings and I too want to be true to that person. I need either a friend, cousin, sibling like person or a life partner. I am a loyal,caring, trustable and helping minded person and I need a person with the same qualities for me. I never leave people and run away during their toughest times.But it is hard to find people who do the same to me. It is not possible in this world.

I joined BFSc course in college with my own,whole hearted interest. But I am unable to focus on it even though I want to. I am zero now. I dont know what to do. I feel jealous by seeing people with siblings. They help each other in difficult times and by seeing that I always feel that I dont have anyone for me. It puts me into so much stress. I lack concentration and focus in things I love to do. I got addicted to phone by playing games,listening to music and watching videos because i dont have any true people around me to speak with. I am lagging in everything in my life. I always overthink. I have insomnia. I have fear to mingle with people because my dad always troubles whoever are our close friends or relatives. Surely most of my friends will not be friend with me if my dad troubles them too. Because my friends cant understand my issues. They have been brought up by their parents so happily without facing any issues. So if they know about my dad , they will surely dont be friend with me. ( I am not assuming it.I promise. I analyse people so deeply and correctly. 90% ).

I and 3 of my friends usually walk to our college after getting down from the bus daily. One is a boy and the other 3 are girls. We are dayscholars. My dad once saw us walking together in the road. He came to a temple in that road. I suddenly stopped speaking to my friend and walked fast in front so that my dad will not trouble them. But he went behind and spoke with that boy and asked why he spoke with me. That boy is my good friend . He told that I am his friend. And then my dad warned him and went immediately. My dad did this to give mental torture to me. He didnt mistake that boy. And then when I went near my friend and asked what he said, my friend told no problem we can go. And then I asked him again. Then he told me what my dad said. I called my mom and she apologised to my friend. My friend told he did not mistake me and it is not an issue. He is a good friend . But my doubt is from that day to till now he did not ask me what is the issue between me and my father. He did not ask me what problem i am facing in my life. He always speaks only about fun stuff daily in college. So , i feel he is not a true friend . He only wants to have fun with me. He is good,loyal, helping minded person. But I dont understand why my friends dont care about my issues.

My dad may again come to that road and make more trouble than before. My fear is people around me in that road may mistake the problem and think that I am not obeying my dad. So I feel helpless. My mom told about that incident to the court and the judge warned my dad. But as I told my dad is a psycho he will trouble us again.

In future wherever I go for work or higher studies , there also my father may trouble me , and I feel that people around me wont help me and understand me. That is my major problem. Most of the people in this world are selfish and dont want to help others. I feel so depressed nowadays. I am helpless. I have mentioned here only some of my issues. A lot are there...Please help me out. I am helpless.

A Heartfelt Thank You to the Feel You Community: A Journey of Hope and Transformation

Dear Feel You Community,

As I sit here, pouring my heart out onto this screen, I am overcome with emotions that words alone cannot adequately express. The journey I have traveled in the presence of this remarkable community has been nothing short of transformative. From the depths of despair to a place of hope, from loneliness to a sense of belonging, you have been my guiding light, my pillars of strength, and my unwavering support.

Not too long ago, I found myself in the deepest, darkest corners of my soul. The weight of discovering my true sexual orientation and the subsequent rejection and hostility from my own family had shattered my world. I was lost, drowning in fear, and contemplating an unthinkable end. But then, in my darkest hour, I reached out to this community—a community that would change the trajectory of my life forever.

To each and every one of you who took the time to read my posts, who poured out your hearts in the comments, who shared your own stories of struggle and triumph, I want you to know that you saved me. Your words of encouragement, your empathy, and your unwavering support reached across the digital space and touched the depths of my soul. In that moment, I realized I was not alone. I found solace in your kindness, strength in your understanding, and hope in your shared experiences.

To the visionary minds behind Feel You, I am forever grateful. You have created a platform that goes far beyond the ordinary—a sanctuary where individuals from all walks of life can find solace, understanding, and connection. Through your creation, you have given me a lifeline, a virtual family, and the courage to choose life when all seemed lost. The impact of your vision cannot be understated, for it has saved lives, mended broken spirits, and ignited a spark of change that will forever burn bright.

There is a misconception I would like to address, one that arose from my recent post. Some of you believed that I had left Uganda in search of safety and sanctuary in a foreign land. While relocation was suggested to me by various organizations, including the remarkable Trevor Project, I made the difficult decision to stay. You see, my purpose, my calling, lies within Uganda itself. I want to be a catalyst for lasting change within my own country. I want to stand tall and be a beacon of hope for those who face similar struggles and discrimination. My aim is to make a difference, not only for the LGBTQ+ community, but for anyone who experiences discrimination based on disability, race, politics, religion, gender, or any other factor that sets them apart. It will be an uphill battle, but with the unwavering support of this incredible community, I know we can overcome any obstacles that come our way, step by step.

In the midst of my tumultuous journey, there is one person I must acknowledge—a dear friend who has provided me with a safe haven amidst the storm. Just a few days ago, I mustered the courage to reveal my truth to him. I expected rejection, judgment, and misunderstanding. But instead, something miraculous happened. He listened, truly listened, with an open heart and an open mind. And as he absorbed the comments and stories shared by this community, something shifted within him. He began to understand the depth of my pain, the magnitude of my challenges. This newfound acceptance from someone I thought would never comprehend my experiences has made this one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. I am grateful for his transformation, for his unwavering support, and for reminding me that change is possible, even in the unlikeliest of places.

In my previous post, I neglected to outline how those who are willing to support my cause can help. For those who prefer to contribute through Air Funding, I have included a fundraising link at the bottom of this message. If international transfers like Western Union are more suitable, please kindly email me at hankjayden168@gmail.com for further details. I am also open to any suggestions or advice from the members of my newfound family, for I am a 21-year-old Ugandan who has much to learn. Your guidance and support are invaluable on this journey of ours.

To the organizations I reached out to, including the Trevor Project, Amnesty International, BBC, Al Jazeera, CNN, France 24, International Rescue Committee, and others, I must be honest and say that the support I received did not meet my expectations. While I understand that these organizations have their own boundaries and limitations, it is the Feel You community that has provided me with the comfort, strength, and hope that I needed. You have shown me that true support knows no boundaries and transcends distance.

If I am successful in my ambitions to bring about change through my project, I will not need to hire advisors, for I have found the best advisors within the Feel You community. You have saved my life and helped me discover my purpose. Your wisdom and guidancewill be my compass as I navigate uncharted waters. Together, we can make a difference that resonates far beyond our individual experiences.

Closing my eyes, I can feel the profound impact each of you has had on my life. My biological family may have turned their backs on me, but I have found a new family—the Feel You family. In your invisible presence, your collective love and support radiate through the depths of my being. You have transformed my despair into determination, my hopelessness into a burning desire to create change. With your unwavering support, I will continue to fight for a world that embraces diversity, compassion, and equality.

As I conclude this letter, I want to express my gratitude once again, from the depths of my soul. Thank you for being the light that guided me through my darkest moments. Thank you for reminding me that there is strength in vulnerability, beauty in authenticity, and hope in the face of adversity. Together, we are forging a path towards a brighter future—a future where love triumphs over hate, where acceptance eclipses discrimination, and where every individual can live their truth without fear.

With profound gratitude and an unyielding spirit.