i am 26yo, and ive been going through depression for almost 1 year, im blaming myself for anything bad is happening in my life, i couldnt achieve my goals yet and regret many things i did and didnt do, and i hate myself for this, i am mentally consumed, i cutt off my friends everyone and just isolated my self from the world, i want to do alot of things in my life but my inner self just keep telling me that its too late and i cant do this or anything! Instead i just stay at my room everyday not sleeping well or eating well not motivated to do anything, and tired, i been having delusions, and get panic attacks and anxiaty, whenever i think about my future i lost hope and meaning/purpose of life, i didnt seek help from anyone, i used to live alone, but when i graduated i moved back to my parents house, i thought that my family are the ones suppose to help me through anything, the only person i rely on and consider as my safe place is my mom, i dont have a good relation with my dad and i dont rely on him, but my mom is narcissist and kinda toxic, at my lowest i felt abandoned by her she made my mental health even worst since i moved in, i have a hateful sister that she always feel threatend by me for some reason, she always fake her attitude and her treatment so she can appear as the favorite daughter, and to do so she always have to bring me down and cause me problems with my parents and humiliate me infront of people and her friends, so they would hate me and love her more!! Cuz of my depression i became less tolerating and more violant, so she knows how to get on my nerves everytime she is home, and my parents alwyas on her side they just dont care about my mental health or what i am going through they always blame me for anything and i am always the bad person, i grew up in a toxic enviorenement where there is verbal violance and even physical, now i came to the degree that when i am furious i cant control myself what i say or do i just hurt myself to feel relieved and say mean things, iam scared that i would kill myself one day, i even left the house once, and my mom faint and went to hospital cuz she was scared i would do something harmful to myself then i came back home hoping that things will change no matter how much i communicate about everything with her she just keeps bring me down and as long as my sister in my life, she will always make my life miserable, i cant even focus on myself while living in a toxic house, and i cant live alone rn cuz iam currently unemployed, i love my family no matter how they are or how they treat me but iam so tired they ruining my life as it is already falling apart, idk what to do or where to start,i feel alone without any support, Pls praay for me to get my life on track, i really dont want to live the rest of life like this or do something i will regret!!

I know work problems are extremely common in people with bipolar disorder and I am no exception. One day I excel, the next day…yikes. I currently work for my best friend, it has been a blessing in many ways because he understands my needs and where I’m coming from. The problem is, I’ve gotten too comfortable with his understanding. When I’m having an off day, I take more breaks than I would if I worked for anyone else. Because…you know. He understands.

I’m starting to feel guilty because I worry that I’m taking advantage of his kindness. At the same time, there are days I would be genuinely unemployed through no true fault of my own, if he were anyone else…which often makes me feel even worse! He deserves someone reliable to support his business, instead he has me. And he won’t fire me, I’ll have to choose to leave if things get bad enough.

I can see his stress is building. Some days are so bad that not only am I not helping him, I’m also holding him back because he feels responsible for helping me through whatever I’m going through (you can see why he’s my best friend). He’s doing his own work (which consists of a full time day job plus our startup tech company), my work, and supporting me emotionally. It’s too much for one person which is partly why I’m here, to lesson his emotional burden at least.

When I think of leaving and getting another job, something more routine and where I could get fired if I don’t do my work, I freeze up. I’m a single parent of three kids. I live with my parents who help watch them, but it’s still a lot more responsibility for me as a parent than it would be if I were still married. I’ve spent most of their lives working, and missed out on a lot. With my friend, I get to work from home most days and can spend time with them. So here there’s a threefold problem, one of being terrified of getting a new job, and one of not wanting to lose the time with my kids, and one of being in a position where I get fired.

I just want to know how I can eliminate my habit of taking a mile when I’ve been given an inch. In a way I can continue to blame my disorder because impulse control is a known weakness in people like myself, but I don’t want to. I have enough awareness on those days to know I’m doing wrong, and I’m screwing myself out of the opportunity to take time off when I’m actually falling apart—because although he won’t fire me, there is still a limit to his patience.

I’m tired of feeling guilty. I’m the last person on earth you would ever expect to take advantage of a good situation, yet here I am.

I’m getting paranoid about my health anxiety. It’s controlling me. It all started with stomach problems, and they are real. I have chronic gastroduodenitis, GAD, also had candida and Helicobacter Pylori. We treated the latter two, but my gut still doesn’t work properly. I also feel constantly tired and sort of indifferent to everything. I’ve changed 5 or 6 doctors, had many various tests and checkups. I have a feeling that doctors don’t take me seriously. I was advised to visit a neurologist about my anxiety, and so I ended up with a psychiatrist and sedative prescriptions. I now take so many pills daily that my feeling of being unhealthy has only deepened. My therapist (and now my doctor too) keep telling me that I have hypochondria and depression… Maybe I do, I don’t deny it. But I keep asking, “what if you’re wrong”? My doctors are telling me that the deviations from the norm in my tests are not that serious, and that they have nothing to do with my anxiety. I want to know why my tests are that way in the first place?

I await my appointments with doctors, each time hoping that we’ll finally find the root cause of me feeling unwell… It’s consuming my life, my happiness and my plans for the future. I can’t even say the sedative is helping, it only makes me sleepy in the morning! All I dream of is to be me from 10 years ago – carefree and absolutely healthy.

Have you ever thought that the symptoms of your mental health have physical root causes?

I am a student

I been having a very good relationship with one of my bestfriend

We knew everything about each other since we met

We texted for hours during initial days

And because of all these we left most of our friends and was seen with each other

I actually had a preference towards a secret relationship, to which she also agreed upon

But because of that our friends who was with us had many issues with us

They felt like we are avoiding us a put us in a guilt trip and especially my girlfriend

We fell into it and started acting differently

Little did other things started to happen

She was telling me how our common friend(a girl)was treating her

Since she was our friend I didn't wanted to assume and i asked her to talk

Which went on many time

Until one day she really disrespected my girlfriend a lot

And she told her other friends that my girlfriend did many bad things

And because of these none of others were talking to my girlfriend

Meanwhile she just had me to talk and whom she trusted most

I acted such a manner that I could solve all the problems between the 2 friends

Meanwhile when my gf needed me I wasn't able to be there for her because of my uncomfort of the secrecy which I wanted

And she suffered lots because of these

But now I regret how I was

I apologised her soo many time

But she's constantly angry with me

And is like talk talk talk

But idk what to talk

I talked to her soo many time regarding the issue

She sometime tell she need space

And when I give shes angry again

She tells she dont have anyone and shes depressed

Its been few month like this.

We contacted a couple's therapy

It didn't do anyn good

We don't want to seperate

We both love each other soo much

Neither do I want to leave her alone

What should I do😭