My 5-year-old son has extreme separation anxiety issues, and I’m at a loss what to do. We had a really hard time making him sleep in his on crib when he was 1.5 y.o. It cost us lots of sleepless nights and honestly many doubts. Now things got much better within our own house, he seems to be self-assured and happy when his father or I am around. But we have problems with preschool activities. Every morning when I drop him off at preschool, he clings to me tightly, tears streaming down his face, begging me not to leave. It's a scene that plays out day after day, and each time it feels like a knife to my heart. His teacher told me that after I leave he sits quietly and cries for half an hour. We had to pull him out of the swimming class because apparently he didn’t like his coach. I tried to wait for him outside with other parents, but it didn’t help, he just won’t go into the class anymore. Several times we caught him lying about being sick to stay home, he had to admit that his stomach was all right and he just wished to be with his mommy. I feel like I'm failing him somehow, like I should be able to make it all better, but no matter what we try, his anxiety persists. My partner is working full-time, and I’m trying to return to full-time work after years of part-time from home. We both are a little bit tired and out of ideas. We need to be able to hire a nanny for our son, and we want to have some time for ourselves, at least occasionally. All the times I asked friends or relatives to babysit for several hours, it was a fiasco. When my best friend, who is extremely good with kids, was left home with him for the evening, he locked himself in the bathroom with our cat and wouldn’t come out until I returned. I couldn’t even be angry at him for the cat, because he looked so forlorn and sad. And he knows my friend, she visited us millions of times, and he talks to her normally when I’m with him. We asked his preschool teacher what to do about it, she said this can happen at his age and that it will eventually pass, but gave no other advice but stay firm.

So my questions are:

1) Has anyone else dealt with this, and can you share some tips?

2) Do you think it's worth it to see a therapist? We’ve tried it once when our son was 3 years old and he seemed to feel uncomfortable with her. Like all kids, he’s somewhat scared of doctors and anything related.

(Thanks in advance)

A lot of the time, people hear “social media influencer” and think of brand ambassadors and celebrities. More often than not, people will also roll their eyes when said influencers complain about hardships they experience because content creation is often associated with entitled rich people who have no self-awareness or faces challenges like that of the average person. That’s understandable, but what a LOT of people don’t know is that being a content creator isn’t as luxurious as they believe.

There’s this misconception that EVERY social media influencer (or person with a platform) is “rich” or financially stable enough to survive off their earnings which is FALSE. How do I know? Because I’M a content creator and have been financially struggling even AFTER coming into a platform. My situation isn’t an isolated case, either. Statistically speaking, in order to be considered an “influencer”, a user must have 500K followers MINIMUM across their platforms, and I’m only a little less than half. Additionally, every sponsor is different. With my circumstances, I only receive 10% of commission IF a person uses my referral link and discount code during checkout.

I don’t have many sponsors but that’s for a reason. If I’m going to collaborate with a company, I do extreme research because I don’t want to promote a brand that’s harmful or negatively impacts the environment, community, etc. While my content is very versatile, I try to send the overall message of spread kindness, creativity and education.

I love being content creator because I have the opportunity to educate, entertain and encourage younger black and brown creatives with my content which is a personal mission statement I chose for myself, but the disadvantages make it exhausting. Platforms are constantly hiding black and brown creators content which means we have to work twice as hard. There’s also a lot of racism and discrimination within fandom spaces which is why I have comment filters enabled because every day I wake up, I have bigots calling me slurs. I have to deal with queer phobia, fetishising and other derogatory remarks. I have people assuming I’m “intimidating” because of my platform or believe I’m entitled because most media influencers are. Don’t even get me started on the defamation of character I experienced that started over another person’s envy.

I’m hesitant to collaborate with other creators because I’ve had to continuously disassociate with people who’ve been outed as abusers and predators in the recent past. I’m wary to befriend other creators because I’ve had people take advantage of my kindness and only see me for my platform and not as a person. After being DOXED by a former friend who was jealous I came into a platform, I acquired stalkers who TO THIS DAY, continue to harass me. It’s exhausting.

The anxiety inducing thing about it all is that the more my platform grows, the more my privacy shrinks. I’ve lost friends and relationship partners because of stalkers and people from my platform being invasive, prying into my private life even when it wasn’t publicised, and as a result I stopped sharing milestones of my recovery. I’m being recognised in public and other places I frequent which makes me fearful for my safety. I am not a celebrity or someone with extreme notoriety for me to experience any of this and it’s incredibly frustrating because when I try to be vulnerable about my frustrations, people downplay the seriousness of it.

I don’t know about anyone else, but it doesn’t feel good to vocalise distress about being followed and for a majority of responses to be, “That means you’re famous!” or “that’s so cool, I wish I had stalkers!” Yes I can delete and filter negative or derogatory comments, and yes I can disconnect and take breaks from media. I do it frequently to preserve my mental and emotional health. What I can’t do however is put the stalking to an end and pursue legal action to ensure that.

I don’t want to be hyper vigilant or over analytical of everything because that fear can deprive me of a lot of opportunities. I do my best to keep a clear mind and open heart but repeatedly experiencing traumatising situations in real time triggers me beyond belief. I love being a “social media influencer” but it’s exhausting.

So first things, This will be really long. I am really sorry about that and will be really thankfull if someone know the answer to my problem.

My name is Aldi, you can call me smam or aldi. I am 21 years old and currently doing thesis at my bachelor degree and have full time job + side job + enterpreneurship or building business with other people. I am the youngest from my brothers and i have 3 brothers, my family is kinda poor so i need to work extra hard to fullfill me and my family needs.

From primary school, I'll always getting bullied. In primary school i am getting bullied because i am really bad at sport, cant socialize much, and didn't really want to do bad things. There's only some people bully me tho but the bullying comes with physical (punching, kicking, etc) and verbal type. But i still got a really good friend, i still remember how kind he is and one time he teach me how to punch properly too but i never have the courage to do that before. I always hoping that primary school year will be done, then come middle school years. In the middle school i got much bigger problem, i have even less friend and the bully comes in group now. I still remember that the bully group will always wait me after school to do stuff you know what will happen, day by day i either rush to go home quickly or go out with the teacher. I always saying thanks to the teacher and the teacher looks really confused. Some of the time i got ganged up too, got punched in the gut, it really hurts. My only peace time in middle school is when i got into academic competition, my school will teach me in different room when class time so i dont need to attend class and meet with the bully group. Thankfully i am really good at mathematic so about 1/4 to half of my middle school time is spent on the special class for special student to learn for the competition. But thinking back i think i joinned up the competition so i dont get bullyed, but yeah day by day is like hell when i am in normal class and really hoping for middle school years to pass. To this year i still remember the name of the one who bully me, sometimes i search the leader who bully me, or the one who bully me. Most of the time i dont find their profile in internet, some ignore my chat, few people just said its in the past and it doesn't matter. It really hurts and haunt me sometime, to add some salt in the wound. I have friend in the middle school, but they betrayed me because they are afraid to get bullied to if they are become my friend. In high school, the difficulty seems to be lowered in a sense, except the lower difficulty is a fake. The bully still takes in group, but i managed to get some friends that want to talk and befriend with me, most of the time in school they hang out with the bully group but some time they have a nice chat with me. It's looks like a good time to me, until i found out its all a lie. The teacher hate me because i am strange and to strict (maybe because i dont want to do bad stuff, maybe because the teacher feel that handling one people is easier), my friend talk bad behind me when i am not in class, ect. I feel really betrayed, I dont even know who is my friend anymore and how to find a good friend. things maybe easier in the pyhsical bullying department compared to the middle school, but damn it is hurt in my heart.

You all maybe asking, why did stand idle or didnt ask for help? I do ask for help, a lot of time in fact. When i ask for my parent help, they only come to school and told the bully nicely (literally) to stop bully me. And you know what happen? it become worse because i am called a snitch and the bully become more aggressive. asking a teacher will result in the same stuff happening, either they told the bully or both of us going in discussion with teacher in middle one time then next day i got bullied more. Once my parent said for me to ask the bully forgiveness myself to stop bully me, but hell its only got worse. Lot of time people said to ignore the verbal bullying, I can ignore it but there is a cost to that and i will explain it later. Fighting off myself is impossible because they gank in group, my only saving grace is when i got separated because i need to study for competition.

In home, its not really a good place too. I must always yield/give in everytime, when i have a problem with my brother then i need to be the one to say sorry or they wont talk to me (my parent said that) then i need to kneel down and say sorry to them. My brother always got supported more for their school needs, When i make money then i need to pay for their necessities too. Last time i got in a fight with my brother, it is getting heated then my parents become sick because they are embarassed if neighbour heard our fight. So i need to backdown but my brother keep badmouthing me saying i am a thief ect. If you want the context, the internet package got depleted really fast and my brother have the tendency to blame others. I give every proof that when i use the wifi or i am not using the wifi (because i am not home and working far from home) and the internet package get depleted fast too. But my parents always ask me to back down and be patient. Right and wrong become gray to me, if being bad have no consequences and become more happy then why should i be good? why should i the one to back down? but yeah thats only one example of the problem.

For my university days, the first and second semester is really busy because orientation so not much stuff happening. In the second semester covid comes then everything become online so nothing interesting happen (maybe if covid not coming i will be bullied again?). Online classes keep happening till my last year, i only need to be patient at home and honestly its better than in school because i am not having problem with my brother everytime. Its just for my thesis, i need to do it by 3 people team. I choose my own member, the first one is my personal friend (yeah stupid me, i dont know if he is really my friend but i am having good time gaming with him) and the other one is someone who is really good at my thesis topic. Because i am always failing and need to take extra step and really cautious then i always plan ahead and choosing best member. I do the 60-80% part of the thesis and the rest is divided between my other member, i provided the necessary tool out of my pocket money even though i am really hard on money too so they can do their task easily. but what happen? THEY IGNORED ME FOR MORE THAN 6 MONTHS, i got really depressed because i need to graduate so my salary will increase and i hopefully theres some money left for me to enjoy (thats right, every month i always out of money because my parents will always ask for it like for my brother necessities). My brother didnt even have a job, they always ask for money then go out from home to look for job (its just empty words). But stupidly my parents always believe it and they got so much in debt because my brother sweet words. FYI my brother is 35+ years old now and they dont have a single job experience, they always get supported but i dont because i can fill my own necessities. Like i know i can fullfill my own necessities but its still really hard to see when my brother got provided with money but i need to work my ass off to pay for my college. FYI again My 2nd and 3rd brother is 35 years old with no experience and my 1st brother is 38 years old with full time experience but he got cancer and i need to help for paying the treatment too.

The problem i said above is just a glimpse of it, most of the time i always failed or the odds is stacked again me so i need to plan ahead and being extra carefull. Even though like that i still get screwed off sometime like my thesis that currently happening. My enterpreneurship with my friend where my friend work less and didnt answer my chat, I want to cut off the partnership but i still got a client that need to be done because my name is on it (hell the client is really slow too to provide what i need to finish the project).

Now lets talk what i feel and my problem is:

1. I am having a hard time trusting people
2. Got a bad dream sometime about the bad stuff happening to me like bullying and waking up really tired.
3. Can't smile because i always put poker face when i got verbally bullied.
4. Got really cold attitude and dont have any feeling, when my friend in primary school got an accident i didnt feel anything but i know that i must feel something because he is my friend. My oldest brother got cancer but i still dont feel any remorse at all.
5. Having anxiety, low self-esteem, closing my eyes and cant look at people when i speak, my legs and body really shaking when talking to people especially group of people.thats strange tho because i am a leader type in my job so i cant have these traits
6. Having really negative though, like i think that dying is better because i wont get any problem at all. Logically thats true, but on the one side i must keep living and never give up plus my religion said suicide is not allowed.
7. Envy when looking people happy, I dont know why its just i want to have a good childhood and life like them.
8. Got confused and self conflicting a lot.
9. My emotion is always jumping high and low, but i always keep it to my self and not showing it. Other people wont like it when i got mad right? but i am really happy when i do gaming and stuff i like.
10. Right now i am procastinating for my thesis, I need to do my thesis. but the stuff that left to be finished is the side that i am not really good at (designing stuff and learning new stuff), it should be where my two friend shine and good at. I try to learn it but sometime i lost motivation or my head hurts, but i need to do my thesis so my salary will Increase.

Someone, anyone please help. I really want to talk to therapy but i always self conflicting, on one side its really pricey and on one side i need to know a way to solve my problem. Hope someone can help me. I am really thankfull if you read it this far, and even more thankfull if you can give me some thought. Thanks!

I realize all my life I have been single a good portion of my life and can’t find the right one. I chase and get disappointed with most are just sex, one night stands or friends with benefits. Long distance relationships I found just sex when responsive most. What I want is trust, love, commitment and communication, my longest physical relationship was toxic and was unhappy not caring enough when I put it in my all. What I want is a relationship turn into marriage and start a family due my family having addictions and haven’t talk in years best I stay away. I want family connection and have that back. I chase and get disappointed, feel codependent on the other for communication only and built a relationship takes time but goes to sex all the time I cut it off. I want to love and be loved. Never found it and gets very lonely I lm on autopilot not living life, I say to myself what’s wrong with me why can’t I find the right one finally be happy, a friend said time to accept its not in the cards for u just focus on yourself. U will be alot happy and if the right one comes along right time happen or not. Once I meet someone new I put it in my all and it’s all I think about like it’s a God to me, cause I don’t wanna be lonely anymore. It’s lets me to toxic person talking to exes online, dating apps and going out at bars. I self neglect myself health, mental wise, I don’t know if it’s my short attention span or I’m lazy do the work to love myself I can’t stick to it only when get crushed by a guy I self care for little while then loneliness comes in crushed everything go gd k to toxic behaviour and in a struck repeated cycle. His do I get help for this? I don’t want to be codependent on others anymore . I just wanna live life again should I accept I never find the right one for me