Good evening, everyone.
I don’t usually do this sort of thing, but I decided that I need to hear other opinions on the matter.
I recently found out that my 13-year-old kid has been involved in online gambling and streaming video games for money. As she is underage, she befriended our neighbor’s daughter who is of age and can legally receive money. That one got all the money and the donations into her bank account and then gave my daughter’s share to her. I don't know when they started, but so far it looks like they’ve earned more than $1000 in winnings and donations. When I first learned about my daughter's activities, I was shocked and dismayed. As a parent, I have always tried to instill values of responsibility and integrity in her, and the thought that she was engaging in underage gambling and using a loophole to do it angered me.
So I confiscated the money. My primary motivation was to protect her from the potential dangers of gambling addiction and to send a clear message that this behavior is not acceptable. Additionally, I felt it was important to address the fact that she had lied to me (initially, she said she got the money from her grandmother, which of course quickly turned against her as I asked my mother the same evening).
Now comes the difficult part. My actions have not been met with understanding. My wife believes that I overreacted and that I should have handled the situation differently. She says we should have talked to our daughter about responsibility and the legal aspects of it all, instead of taking her money. My daughter just refuses to talk to me. I’m uncertain now. Have I made the right decision?
I am seeking outside perspective. On the one hand, I want to stand firm in my decision and set clear boundaries around my kid’s behavior. On the other hand, my wife’s words left me feeling conflicted. She didn’t support me, and now I’m the stinky dad, and she’s the diplomat. It used to be the other way round...
I am eager to hear from others what you think.
