Hi everyone, I came to this site to tell my story, maybe it will help someone. This is my experience of overcoming fears. The thing is that I was very afraid to drive a car. No, the words "very afraid" do not convey my condition at all. I was shaking behind the wheel. A lot of people run to get their license as soon as they turn 18. I didn't. My parents kept telling me, "how many accidents? You'll be safe." Or "look how the neighbor crashed the car", "here, she has a head injury, and now she's sick, and if she hadn't driven the car, she'd be in one piece". And it was imprinted in my head that "a car is scary, an accident, disability". I was also told that I was "inattentive", "it's very difficult to drive a car". And I was afraid. Every year the need to drive increased. So I decided to get my license. I asked my father to teach me how to drive, and I was told no, "It's dangerous." I asked my husband to teach me to drive a little bit at a time. To which I got a "you can't handle it...and you'll delete the car" refusal. I don't remember exactly what the "last straw" was, but I decided to study for my license "secretly". I paid for a driving school and started attending classes. I learned the theory quickly. But when the practice of driving began, I started to have fears. I remembered everything that I was told "you can't do it, it's hard"....
I was shaking while driving, I was paralyzed by fear and I really couldn’t. The instructor told me and another guy that we were the worst. Moreover, when we started training in a city where there was a lot of traffic, I was afraid of cars. Everyone. It seemed to me that they would definitely come at me. Or I'm on them. Large or expensive cars were especially scary. Because a big car is a potential death
Due to panic while driving, I did not listen to the instructor. The instructor considered himself very experienced, and his pride was greatly affected by the fact that he could not teach me. In the morning, he told me that when he saw that the first student on his schedule was me, he assessed his day as unsuccessful. I told him that he was probably a bad teacher. Angry, he told me “I will teach you, no matter what it costs me.” He explained that I needed to remove the “barrier”.
When I started driving in the car, we continued to argue about whether he was a good teacher. During the argument, I became angry, and it no longer mattered to me whether I was afraid or not. I was all in this argument. At some point, the instructor said admiringly, “look how well you rode,” when you’re angry, you forget about fear. I myself was surprised that this was so. Yes, he was right, I drove and was not afraid, I went through all the turns. At this point, I got a call from work asking me to come over right away. I hurried off and asked my driving instructor to drive me. And he said no. I got angry, so I drove myself. I was only thinking that I had to get there as soon as possible, there was no fear, because my mind was dominated by "hurry to work". At the intersection, I looked at the instructor and saw that he was happy. "You are driving very well! You see, when you really have to go somewhere, you are not afraid", he said. He was smiling and satisfied. I can say that breaking my fear barrier was helped by my anger. When I was angry, there was no fear. But that doesn't mean I didn't work on the residual slight fear of driving later on. But I'll write about that another time)
Thoughts which are hard to manage should be addressed. They make us feel distressed and have negative impact on our life .
>>> Why do you get nervous on the road?
>>> Why do you feel you don't know to drive? even after driving for 8 years? what is letting down your confidence?
>>> Why do you fear accident will happen?
>>> Is there anything happened in the past which gives you this feeling?
>>> Write down what all emotions you feel when you drive car? label it?
Answering this will give you clarity of the root cause of the problem. Anything in the past which has led to this fear needs to be addressed.