Everything inside me screams from helplessness and injustice of it all! I don’t hate my sister-in-law, as a woman, I want to support her, I really do. And I know she's been through a lot. It's been three long years since she moved in with us, seeking refuge from her abusive ex-husband. Three years of watching her struggle being a young mother, and three years of feeling the walls of my own life closing in on me. As much as I want to help her, I can't take it anymore. It's not just about her not contributing to the household or being oblivious to the impact of her presence; it's about feeling like I'm suffocating under the weight of her problems.
Our relationship has taken a turn for the worst the last three months. Ever since she smacked me on the mouth for trying to help her with her baby. She apologized, and we both act as if we’re fine. But I’m not. I can’t stand it anymore hearing her say she regrets having her baby, all the while I’m trying so hard to get pregnant. I can’t stand her being so controlling and anxious about everything, having to go on tiptoes in my own house because loud noises make my sister-in-law jump and lash out. I would call her passive-aggressive if she didn’t have so many issues. I know she's been through hell and back, and I can't imagine the pain she must have endured with her ex. Because of this, I don’t dare to share my feelings with my husband. I can’t use the word “abuse”, it was my sister-in-law who was abused by her husband. If I only hint that her behavior is domestic abuse in my eyes, I’ll be called a heartless bitch and I probably will be a bitch in our friends’ opinion. But I feel that she is being mentally and verbally abusive towards me every single day, and I can’t excuse it for her depression or her temper tantrums anymore. When she hit me, my patience with her ran out. I can't stand domestic violence from anyone, especially not from my own sister-in-law. If she ever raises a hand on me again, I will tell my husband, that’s decided. I regret not telling him three months ago, but I feel that the moment is lost now. And would he even believe me? He'd think I’m exaggerating or making a big deal out of nothing.
I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm afraid. He's always been so selfless in his desire to help others. I married a freaking Robin Hood! Nobody told me his sister would come as a bonus. God, I feel guilty even for writing this… How can I possibly accuse my sister-in-law of being violent, aggressive, selfish, when she’s the victim? But at the same time, I can't keep living like this. I feel like I'm drowning.
I want her out of my house and my life. It feels immoral to think about asking her to leave when she has nowhere to go and with a child. But at the same time, I can't ignore the fact that her presence makes me neurotic. I don't know what to do. I feel torn between my duty and my own need for space and peace. I just wish there was a solution that doesn't make everything my fault.
