In just 4 days it’ll make 2 months since I’ve started my new job and I love it. My bosses are nice, they respect and accommodate me and my disabilities, and my coworkers are fantastic. This is one of few jobs I’ve had in which I wake up excited to work no matter how busy the day might be or how exhausted my body is. Everything feels perfect!
At least, that’s how I felt at first…
I still love my job but it doesn’t feel as safe anymore, at least not for me as a disabled person after the email I received yesterday. My physical disabilities are properly accommodated but it doesn’t feel like my mental disability is receiving mutual support.
I have a diagnosed processing disorder that prevents me from understanding instruction properly so it requires things being explained to me multiple times, because I hear what’s being said but my brain doesn’t register it as fast. I also have memory issues related to trauma. Every day I’m actively working to restore it while also taking 15-30min to do education apps on my phone to strengthen my comprehension, processing ability, etc. I’ve communicated this at the start of being hired and they seemed understanding and willing to work with me, but a couple supervisors reported to our manager that they’re frustrated with my continuous inquiries.
I understand that being 2 months into a job I should have a grasp of how to independently complete tasks and I do, I just ask for additional confirmation so I don’t create unnecessary conflict. Being told to improve my performance doesn’t hurt my feelings. Without criticism or work assessment how am I supposed to improve? What hurts my feelings is that I can tell when people are visibly upset with me because of my processing disorder. I’m not being inattentive or careless when I ask for directions, I just want to ensure I’m doing my job correctly. I’ve already sent an email explaining this but where I’m at now, I want to completely shut down.
