My last four men have been about 10 years younger than me. It's socially frowned upon. "Evil tongues" like to say all the worst things they can. I've been thinking about why I choose men younger than me. And a story from my past came to mind. Years ago, I was married to a man of my own age. He loved me very much, we got married and I was sure of his love. When our daughter was born, he became very jealous. I must say that it was not for nothing: in the past, before our marriage, he had seen many men courting me. But after marriage, I never cheated on him. And how could I? I was pregnant, and then I took care of a small child. I always thought he was joking when he laughingly said "coming off duty to check on you." started nagging me to ask what I was doing. while he was at work. I didn't take it seriously because I was busy with the baby. The baby wasn't sleeping well and I was exhausted from it. During the day, the baby slept for 30 minutes at a time, and I had no time for anything. My husband did not understand this, we were only 23 years old. He was young and did not understand childcare. One day we had a fight with my husband, it was a domestic quarrel after which he left for work. My husband was a military man, and he was on duty with a gun. That day he thought I would bring a lover home. So he came home at night to kill me. He said later that he only wanted to scare me. I put the baby to bed and my husband came in with a machine gun. He silently pointed it at me. I'm the kind of person that gets scared afterwards, after the situation. In the situation itself, I realized I needed to hug him. That, my paradoxical behavior, saved me. I hugged him and told him how much I loved him. He still had his gun at point-blank range. After a while, I was rescued by his coworker. who realized my husband had gone to the family with a gun. He took the gun away from him and took it out of the house. Then my husband pulled out a gun. And it happened again. I was able to talk him into leaving. And he said, "live," I'll kill the neighbors for you. And he left. I rushed to the baby, and I realized she was asleep. A short time later, I heard an automatic rifle line in the yard. It was very loud. I was angry - he would wake up the baby. This maternal strength allowed me to go out and, being wildly angry, chase him out of the yard with a gun. And that's it, a day later, "I'm screwed." It was a post-traumatic stress disorder that I had been carrying for years. And that's it, a day later, "I'm screwed." It was a post-traumatic stress disorder that I had been carrying for years. I had trouble socializing with men. Then I got over it. It was impossible for me to have relationships with men. I've been able to hang out with men who aren't aggressive at all. It turned out to be a guy 10 years younger than me. I didn't want a close relationship with him, it was unacceptable to me, even though he was an adult. But he wanted it and it worked out. Since then, I have never been able to learn how to socialize with male peers.

my mom's behavior. I'm 18 and have been having severe panic attacks for the last year and a half. that's what my psychologist said. I don’t think so myself, because maybe it’s something else. The fact is that I have been living in this condition for a long time and my mother does not allow me treatment. the first year, when this effect had not yet taken hold and I went once to a psychologist with her cuz was underage. session hour. For the first 30 minutes she sat with me without allowing me to really say anything, then the doctor asked her to leave and she stood at the door as if she was eavesdropping...or was it just me? let's ignore this fact, I wasn't sure. After that, my mother said that the psychologist was useless and we would no longer attend therapy. that's it..what's next? Then there are a lot of reproaches and “pull yourself together, you can control this” “program yourself and everything will be fine” “just breathe deeply and everything will pass.” I lost my mind. These phrases began to cause aggression in me. I'll tell you honestly. When a person doesn’t understand your condition and says so, it infuriates me. Before all this, I was experiencing severe stress and wanted to kill myself, which my mother told the therapist about without my knowledge. She also says “look, this child has a disability, he is fighting for life, and you cut your wrists and want to kill yourself.”. (this especially irritates me) She also seems to be ashamed of me. Or she says that she’s tired of me and it’s all my fault, etc. Things got worse over time and I didn’t go into remission at all. and now I go to therapy once a week for panic attacks. And then, it was a necessary measure. By the way, now when I feel bad, my mother gets worried and has a hypertensive crisis, apparently due to stress, for which, of course, she blames me. It’s very difficult for me because I have no one else in my family, and even when I feel bad too and I’m in a panic, I help her, bring her water, etc. And when, during her hypertension, I sit down to check my pulse or blood pressure, I always hear “Everything is fine with you, stop measuring this crap, you’re stressing me out,” it’s all gotten to the point where I get very upset and blame myself for it. Also, many doctors said that I should visit a psychiatrist, but I live in a country where all this is recorded, and even one visit to a psychiatrist could end with me not going to university, not being able to work at a good job, being the scum of society and not I can drive a car..like this. I'm completely confused and don't understand what to do☹️ in a year I will have the opportunity to move in with a girl and leave her. and while I don’t have the opportunity to do this and I’m under the care of my mother, so to speak, then I would really like to get advice on how to learn to perceive it differently or how to ignore it..

Hello,

I’ve been lurking here for several weeks, reading other people’s stories. Normally I don’t post about my health online, and I haven’t noticed anyone with the same issues here. I’ve come across discussions about how the mental health issues manifested themselves as physical pain… My case is a bit different, but I suspect the mechanism is the same. I’m reading all I can find about Conversion disorders, so perhaps someone here can give me some tips on where to look further.

I found myself in the hospital two years ago, shortly after a series of unlucky events (severe pneumonia, big issues at my workplace, and the funeral of my father shortly after). I experienced a sudden paralysis in my legs. To tell the truth, it scared the wits out of me. I thought I’d be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life… I also had tremors in my hands, and my state generally signaled I was having some sort of seizure. I spent 8 days in the hospital, muliple tests and IVs. The doctors didn’t know what the matter was, I suspect their main aim was to bring me back to life and send me home. My state improved over the week. I was prescribed a pile of drugs and they let me go. My symptoms were milder (I was told I'd be able to function, which greatly helped with my overwhelming panic), but I needed the support of my husband to take the taxi and, well, to live.

It took till late autumn to feel somewhat normal again. My legs got much better, but at times they betray me. It's terrifying, especially when I'm trying to do simple things like walk to the kitchen or go up the stairs. I've had to rely on my family a lot more to help me get around, mostly because I fear it will happen again unexpectedly. The tremors in my hands are almost invisible to the outside eye now, though I can still feel them at times. It's like they have a mind of their own. It may make the task of writing or even holding a cup of tea feel like a challenge.

I've had to cut back on work because I just can't keep up with the demands of my job anymore. It's frustrating because I used to be so independent, and now I feel like I'm constantly relying on others for help. I’ve been visiting the doctors (I’ve had three different ones over the last year) every two weeks, then every month. Now I do it randomly whenever my symptoms seem to worsen. I’m still not healed. It was the third doctor who insisted I should start therapy, and he made the final diagnosis: conversion disorder. I suppose it’s very rare, if it took them so long to diagnose me? I’ve been reading about it and I’ve come across many similar stories, though I got the impression that it mostly happens after some serious trauma and is considered “the illness of the veterans”.

I haven’t yet started therapy. I know I should do it to help me cope with all of this, but it's hard to take that first step. For now, I'm just trying to take things one day at a time and am seeking for more information. I’ve read that CBT was not helpful for some people, even though it’s recommended by professionals. I’ve also read about hypnosis as one potential line of treatment, it’s considered untraditional medicine? Has anyone else dealt with a similar diagnosis or symptoms on a daily basis? I need to better understand what I'm up against here.

I’ve been going to therapy to treat my general anxiety disorder and also to avoid work burnout. My therapist is very respectful and knowledgeable, she’s been at it for 40 years at least. I’ve had nagging pains in my low back and joints for months, and after many visits to several doctors, their final diagnosis was fibromyalgia. I've shared this with my therapist, and she validated my chronic pain and fatigue. However, she says it’s triggered by constant stress and my GAD, and she recommends me to start taking antidepressants.

I’m in doubts. On the one hand, I’ve been with my therapist for more than 3 years, and I trust her completely. She’s helped me with seasonal depression and other issues many times. On the other hand, I don’t feel that my pain is psychological, and I’m a little uncomfortable to further share it with my therapist now. I don’t know how to handle this.