I have been struggling with depression for a while now. Recently, I have been dealing with some family issues and memories from my past that have resurfaced. To cope with everything, I started smoking a year ago.
Yesterday, I tried cocaine for the first time. Despite feeling nervous, I bought half a gram and did a few lines. It wasn't as intense as I thought it would be, but I am fully aware of the potential risks and consequences of addiction and alcoholism since they run in my family. However, I don't really care about the dangers right now.
Today all I could think about was the cocaine. No one knows what I'm going through, and that makes me feel invisible. When I got home, I did two more lines, and just did two more a few minutes ago. It's strange because people have been telling me that I seem happier and more talkative lately, but the truth is that I am in a really bad place right now.
I'm not trying to ruin my life or commit suicide, though. I still care about my career and spend time with my friends when I can. I just want to forget about the memories that haunt me, and substances help me do that.
I don't know why I'm sharing all of this, but I'm high right now and just want someone to know what's going on with me. So, now you know.
