I have an elderly boss. I run a small sales department, and of course I would like to be as successful as possible. To that end, I transferred to a new firm to "grow". I have taken sales trainings, and "successful success", I know the latest sales techniques. When I saw my supervisor, my hands dropped. He's elderly! That's it, he doesn't know the latest in sales. I don't know how I'm going to work. I shared my frustration with my wife and she said maybe I could explain to him how salespeople work now. When I went into his office to meet him, I brought my training certificates. I told him that I was going to coach my subordinates to optimize them. The boss was silent, and in response I voiced the main tasks of my department. He, of course, did not appreciate me! Oh well, I'll show him how things work after training. When I started to delve into the tasks, they seemed fantastic. I was already boiling with anger. The boss told me to go and bring a concrete plan to accomplish them. And that was it. No advice, no guidance. I couldn't think of anything, and only came up with the beginning of where to start. This is wrong, you have to think through the whole logic of the work, but I couldn't do it. The plan was unrealistic. I felt like a deceived child, as I was told that this firm fosters strong leaders. And they didn't say anything to me. I decided to have a constructive conversation. I went to my supervisor and listed the problems that prevented me from accomplishing my task. The supervisor listened in silence and then said "go and work". I came out very angry! Well, what about "problem analysis", "brainstorming" and all the other tricks of "successful success"? I ran the department all the next day, adrift as I didn't know what else I could do. In the morning, my boss briefly asked me what decisions I had made on the new goals. What do you mean, decisions? I had voiced the problems yesterday. The supervisor said he didn't need problems voiced, he needed solutions. I got tired of thinking about solutions. went to the boss again with my resume, and said that I couldn't do what he wanted me to do because I didn't have enough experience. The supervisor took a quick look at my resume and said very sternly and firmly, "You've done this before! Remember!". After which the conversation was over. I don't even know how to describe my feelings after everything. I cried. Then I called my wife to "whine". My wife confidently said: "Well, if the boss thinks you've done it before, then remember." So I started remembering when I could do it and when I could do it. I remembered that the sales trainer said that if you're stumped, "Call a friend." So I called a buddy from my last job and asked "do you remember when I could do this?". The buddy, to my surprise replied "Yeah, was it when we sold this?". And I remembered. Yes, I had done this before and achieved big goals in one of my projects with this method. I quickly wrote a work plan and took it to my boss. The supervisor read it and for the first time honored me with a more welcoming look. "Good for you. Next time, focus on solutions instead of problems," he said. I walked out happy. Yeah, the old man was right. Realizing I had a lot of problems always got in my way.
Hello!
I’m not going to lecture you about the dangers of banned substances, I’ll just say one simple thing: drugs are a one-way ticket. Drugs give temporary relief, but in the long run they will lead to the fact that your life will deteriorate greatly, and there will be several times more problems than now.
I understand how difficult it is for you to cope with your feelings and emotions regarding the past. They constantly put pressure on you like a heavy burden. But think about the fact that using drugs increases this pressure.
Any drugs, including legal ones - alcohol and tobacco, act like anesthesia, creating the illusion that life is beautiful, and problems will be solved by themselves. But this is self-deception.
All people use drugs with one main goal - to escape from reality. Therefore, the first step towards liberation from addiction is the ability to accept reality. Think about what is there in your life you are trying to escape from? What is happening now or happened before you cannot put up with, what hurts and worries you.
The second step is to learn how to deal with your emotions: notice them, be able to recognize, live and let them go. A lot of feelings and worries have accumulated inside you, and it’s time to let them out. I will give one of the possible algorithms describing how to do this.
1. Allow yourself to feel
Find a quiet, calm place where nothing will distract you. First, take a few deep breaths. When you feel ready, allow your body to feel any emotion. For example, you can give yourself a clear instruction like “Experiencing emotions is not dangerous”.
2. Feel your body
Feel your body from toes to head. Do nothing, just focus on the sensations. Your body can tell you a lot if you listen carefully. Understand which parts of the body attract your attention and what kind of sensations in this area you experience. Stiffness? Heat or cold? Tickle or pain? These sensations can be weak or strong. The emotions that were not worked out are often “stored” in various organs and parts of the body.
3. Feel the emotions
Place your hands on the part of your body that attracts your attention. Inhale and exhale deeply several times. You will begin to feel the worries that are “stored” there. Breathe and let your emotions out. You may feel fear and discomfort. Just watch and release whatever thoughts that fear generates. Let yourself feel. Accept these worries and dive deeper into them. Anger, sadness, regret, fear, humiliation and any other emotion can be felt. You may feel like crying, screaming, changing positions or stretching your stiff body.
4. Find the source of emotions
If the worries that arose during the above practice are too strong for you, you can stop there for now. If you are ready to move on, ask yourself what these released emotions are about. Unpleasant emotions are generated by unhealthy beliefs such as “I’m not good enough”, “I can’t be loved”, “I’m not safe”. Keep on sitting in silence, breathe evenly and keep your hands on the area where the feeling comes from.
You may start to have thoughts related to a particular topic or to certain people or situations. Pay attention to these associations and think about them. If your limiting beliefs come to mind, release them. Replace them with other beliefs, telling yourself: “I am a worthy person”, “I am loved”, “I am safe”. You can use any statement that suits you.
Remember that feelings are impermanent. Thank your body and your emotions for what you’ve learned from them.
5. Release them
It doesn’t matter if the source of emotions has been found or not, they must be released. To do this, you need to feel and recognize their existence. You have already done it. Remember that feelings are impermanent. Thank your body and your emotions for what you have learned from them. Tell your body that you love it and are grateful for it so that it will be more willing to reveal its secrets to you in the future. The fastest way to release an emotion is to understand what limiting belief is the reason for it.
If we fail to find the source of the worry, it will most likely occur again and again. But the more you practice these techniques, the easier it will be for you to identify, work through and eliminate “frozen” emotions and limiting beliefs. You will learn to feel the worries upon their occurrence and won’t drag behind a load of repressed emotions that can hold you down and mess up your vision. All this will help you feel easier, freer and happier.