Hello again, I think you don’t celebrate Christmas the way we do here in the West, but I still wish you happiness and good luck! You deserve to have the best in life!
You say things were getting better at some point. Was it because you were taking some medication prescribed to you at the time when you consulted a therapist about your PTSD?
Moving to a new place is always beneficial, because new places bring new acquaintances and impressions. However, it’s not easy without a support network - friends you can talk to or who can help you plan this thing. You’ll probably have more opportunities to do this when you move to college.
@Irene melly
The place where I live here Christmas is not celebrated.
Yes things were getting better at some point because I were excited those moments for December I thought that time that those days are bad but coming December will be very good but nothing happened when December came.
The feelings of excitement at that moment made me felt better and good. That moment also I was lonely and I recorded alot of voice recordings to help myself because there was no one to listen me or understand me. I didn't consulted to therapist I met a online doctor who was helping me by telling about some methods to alleviate my ptsd.
Here I'm not allowed to walk 200 steps without parents so with friends planning for a trip is dream. I'm not even allowed to close my own room door or use washroom for more than 20 minutes. Here is no privacy and these things make my conditions worst. In life I never hangout with a freind or went anywhere alone. Parents are overstrict and at times they be semi toxic. That's why my classteacher also said not to tell about these things to parents.
I’m not an expert, but, based on your words, I’d say you’ve developed depression. Feelings of acute loneliness and irritation at everyone are the telltale signs.
It’s a pity your parents aren’t taking you seriously. Will you be willing to use any free mental health hotlines in your area?
Hey, are you from India? Have you heard of iCALL - https://icallhelpline.org? It’s a free hotline funded by Mariwala Health Initiative. They are available by phone, email or chat, and they promise confidentiality. I’ve been told most of their counselors are female, and you can change a counselor, if you don’t like your first one.
@JellyFish
Depression is just a joke here or I would say a fashion trend. Here if you say to anyone you have Depression then they will react normal the worse part is they will try to hurt you at times after knowing you have depression.
Depression word is just left as a joke.
Even if anyone be sad or upset for silly reasons they call it depression that's why here no one takes it seriously infact my own parents think depression means getting pshyko like brain not working.
My own school freinds say they are depressed and on other side they socialize,enjoy life and are extrovert they show 0 signs or symptoms of depression just as a fashion trend here is depression trend.
The people who really suffers like me maybe knows the actual experience. My doctor has told me once same thing that I've depression, next day I told about it to freinds and I only get one suggestion which was ignore the negative things happening from 4 yrs I'm ignoring only and in coming days it will turn 5 yr but my condition didn't changed infact it's getting worse with time.
Rn I'm feeling so much cutoff and cry for no reason with feelings of loneliness.
Here being extremely sad, being extremely silent,crying or anything excessive is fine until something very worst not happens, something very serious in which it affect physically on body.
@shagrot-pev
If my parents discovers about it then idk what condition they will make of mine even I'll be having this phone or not idk.
I don’t have more courage to face anything negative. I'm really tired and burnout.
@jiya Your situation is really drastic, but I'm an optimist and I believe there's always a way out :) Maybe your teacher is right to maintain some secrecy, I didn't tell my parents about my eating disorder too (though I think they suspect).
A change of seasons is not likely to bring any real change in the moods. The chemical processes that happen in our brains when we feel bad are stronger than any outside factors. Voice recordings are one way to let your frustration out. Journaling all your feelings can be another way. Therapists often recommend to journal all the feelings daily. Putting all those thoughts onto another medium somewhat helps process them. Another idea that comes to mind is to try using mobile apps for meditation. I forgot the name of the one I was using a year ago, it has a dog in the logo. Anyway, you'll find many such apps, choose one with a high rating. You'll find some exercises for meditation there, as well as daily affirmations and self-love practices. I'd also think of some hobbies that you can enjoy alone and that will brighten your days. Do you like reading or gardening?
@Irene melly
Voice recordings helped me only for 3 months approximately and Journaling 1 year and 5 months. Meditation and exercises both I've already tried and it was responsible for ptsd.
When I sat to do exercises and after practice of one week my head started paining and strange memories started coming in mind then all memories of assualts and all came. My condition is very complicated because after trying everything nothing has worked instead how much times I'm putting effort to heal myself that much worse its getting. Others say here to ignore it because of them this condition is mine today where I'm becoming emotionally vulnerable.
Infact now I'm feeling cry for no reason and If I started crying then for hours I won't be able to stop myself. Other hand parents are around so I can't freely cry also.
@jiya I'd say depression is a worldwide trend. Most of my friends are on antidepressants. :( The pills actually help with mood swings and crying. They allow to lead a normal life, but they don't fix the underlying problems. They only give some extra energy to go through the day.
I know how complicated and exhausting depression may be, and I'm worried about you. It's crucial not to let anything bad happen! If that doctor of yours helped you before, I think it'll be good if you contact them again. No doctor really has a magic solution for mental health conditions. But they can give us clues that we may use to heal. It's also just nice to feel understood. After many years of battling with my condition, I can honestly say my therapist is my best friend (even though I hate her methods sometimes). Can you seek help of that doctor of yours?
@JellyFish
My doctor is not mental specialist doctor he is in other branch. He suggested me many times to take many tests like blood test and more but my parents allow nothing oof. My doc own said to take help from psychiatrist because he can only help me if I've reports and physically present there.
It's possible that you're experiencing these intense feelings because the symptoms of your PTSD have re-emerged. The process of healing isn't linear and can sometimes be painful, because we have to face our trauma. So it's understandable why you felt these intense emotions when you started journaling, meditating, and the trauma you experienced came to the surface. If we ignore these feelings and memories, it will affect us one way or another. Processing the trauma, however, can be challenging and it's best when done with a mental health specialist. I'm sorry that your parents and your teacher lack the knowledge or understanding to provide the support you need. I'd recommend talking to your parents again; sometimes it takes more than one conversation for others to understand what we're going through. You can even share with them some articles or videos on PTSD, for example, to help them learn more about the subject and understand how serious it is. Give them specific examples of how it all has been affecting your mood, your thoughts, perhaps your performance in school, and that you need to talk to someone who has experience helping people to deal with this. If there is a counselor in your school, reach out to them. Ask them to help you approach your parents or guide you towards support resources. Perhaps there is another member of your family, who can also help you talk to your parents. If nothing helps, search for a mental health helpline in your country and online resources where you can talk to people who can support you and help you deal with the feelings.
I also want to share some tactics that might help ease the struggles:
- When you can't stop crying or are overwhelmed with emotions, do a breathing exercise. For example, breath in for 4 seconds through your nose, hold for 6 seconds and breath out for 8 seconds through your mouth. Keep breathing like this until you feel calmer. Try also relaxing your facial miscles as they tense up during crying.
- Bring yourself back to the present moment. For instance, name things that you can see, count things you can hear. If there's anything nearby you can taste or smell, like a candy or a drink, focus on these sensations. Feel the surface that you're sitting, standing or lying on, notice how it supports you.
It can be helpful to keep things that help you relax and activate all of your senses where you can access them any time - like an anti-stress ball, your favorite candy, a scented cream, a calming music or a video.
- If possible, switch up your surroundings from time to time. For example, take a 15 minute walk in a park nearby, paying close attention to what you see and hear around you. This may help reduce stress and anxiety.
- It can be beneficial to engage in physical activity like excercising, jogging, dancing or just moving your body to the music that fits your mood as it helps release hormones that make us feel better.
- Try paying more attention to things that you like or are grateful for, even small joys - like a nice weather or a delicious meal. I know it may seem that there's nothing positive around you right now but just taking 5 minutes a day thinking about things you are grateful for can change thought pattern and increase general wellbeing. For example, you could take time in the morning and evening to write down or think about 3 specific things you are grateful for that day. Try it for a couple of weeks and see how it affects your mood.
- When you feel overwhelmed, imagine a safe place where you can go in your mind. A place where you enjoy being, stay unbothered and be completely safe. It can be an actual place or an imaginary one. Imagine it in details - whether it's nature, sea, mountains, countryside, some house or even a place outside of our planet. I recommend taking a piece of paper and drawing or painting this safe place. Then, close your eyes and imagine yourself there. Stay in this mental space for as long as you need. If you made a picture, put it somewhere you can see regularly, so you always have access to it and the sense of comfort it provides.
- Make sure that you're getting enough sleep, as excessive crying can be a sign of exhaustion. Aim for 8-10 hours per night.
I hope some of these strategies will be helpful, and that you get the support you deserve.