Warning: Sensitive Content

Hiii I'm Rai. I came here to write down my feelings since I have no one to share this with. I grew up in a toxic household where females experiencing discrimination. I'm an only daughter. I have two brothers, one is older and one is younger, in short I'm a middle child.

My mom and dad parted ways when I was born. I grew up with my grandparents comapany becaye my mom had to left us to her parents because she needs to work in order for us to live.

With my grandparents, I experienced physical abused. My grandma used to hit me with metal causing wounds and break bones. My grandma taught to be a fast-learner because if not, she will hit me again. A small mistake, is a big deal for her.

When I turned 7 years old, my grandma died. I was left alone with my brothers and my grandpa. That was when I started to seek for a female role model, a feminine energy sadly, I never get what I needed.

When I turned 7 years old my mom and dad got back together. I thought we would be happy but no. It became chaotic.

My family treated me like a trash. Funny how I expected them to treat me like a princess since I'm an only daughter but turns out, they're treating me like their yaya/nanny.

I'm also an academic achiever but my parents are not proud of me and they will never be proud of my achievements. For them, my grades are still low when in fact, I'm always in the dean's lister.

I remember when I bragged about my exam. I told them that I got the highest score in the class and they told me "as you should."

They never appreciate me, my hardworks and efforts. I did my best but it still wasn't enough for them. I'm so tired of proving myself to them. I'm always doing my best, I sacrificed my health but still, it's not enough. All they did was to humiliate me in public and bragged the things I have no control.

I'm so tired of fighting. I want to harm myself and cut my lines.

I've been an overeater for years. Impulsively eating sweets. No, not like that: grabbing all the food that was at home until my stomach started to hurt. Of course, I gained weight. My wife started making comments about me being fat. She generally made a lot of remarks to me every day: I often did, in her opinion, everything wrong. We fought a lot...I would get frustrated and go and eat , eat , eat. I started going to the gym. It didn't help, the weight went down a little and then came back up again. I wanted to find another wife...I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "who needs me fat". One day I approached a slim man at a training session and asked him how and what he would recommend. thanks to him, he listened to me carefully. And he said: "I couldn't lose weight until I left my wife, who was always scolding me". Leaving my wife!!! I dreamed of it. I wonder if this will help. Another month went by and my wife and I came to the conclusion that we should get a divorce. We drew up the necessary papers and I began to feel sobodny. For the time being, I stayed living with my wife while we resolved the property issue. My wife stopped yelling at me (I'm not her husband anymore) and our relationship became more even. And surprisingly, I stopped eating too much. I stopped craving sweets. My weight finally started to drop. I was delighted and surprised. And the wife started, anoborot eating a lot and gaining weight. I felt sorry for her, but I wanted to lose weight and my freedom helped me. I started reading about it on the internet, and I realized that I was in a "psychological prison". I will try not to get into it again. and my wife is in a psychological prison. I don't know whether to be happy or sad for her.

In today's complex world, we often have to face a lot of different events and responsibilities that can stir up complicated feelings. Sometimes life becomes overwhelmingly stressful. I’m a practicing psychologist, and I want to share with you some strategies to cope with daily pressures that proved to be useful:

● Make space for self-care.

We all manage stress in different ways. Some self-care basics are getting enough sleep, prioritizing healthy food and getting exercise. Consider what specifically works for you - perhaps, it’s walking in a park on a sunny day, going to a cinema, dancing to your favorite music, meditating or having a warm bath. Make a list of all the activities that help you relax and recharge, and try to do at least one each day.

● Set boundaries.

It's important to recognize situations or people that trigger stress, so you can prepare for them or avoid them when needed. If some situations are hard to escape, set clear boundaries. For instance, at a family gathering, ask relatives not to bring up certain tense topics, or plan an exit strategy if conversations get a bad turn - excuse yourself politely and leave the room until it calms down. Another example: if a friend or a family member always calls you at night when you don’t want to talk, ask them to stop doing it or create a clear time limit on how long you can be on the call.

● Practice being present.

Being present in everyday life helps us enjoy the moment more, be aware of our thoughts and feelings without being caught up in them, and reduces stress and anxiety. Try being fully engaged in whatever you’re doing. The best way to do it is by using all of your 5 senses. Pay attention to the warmth of a hot drink, the aroma and taste of food, the texture of a blanket. Listen closely to your friends and family when you’re with them. As you walk outside, feel the wind or sun on your face and the ground under your feet. Focus on your surroundings, houses, trees and plants, and notice every sound: cars passing, people laughing, birds singing, songs from local cafes.

Focusing on these small details can help us instantly ground ourselves and feel more calm even amongst chaos. You can even create a “calm dawn kit” that will include objects to help you ground yourself at any time: for example, a squeeze ball, a scented cream or a candle, your favorite candies, a recording of nature sounds, a calming picture.

● Take a moment for gratitude.

Studies have shown that being grateful and thinking of positive things helps us cope with stress and improves emotional well-being. Here’s a simple practice that you can try:

- In the morning, after waking up, think of three things you are grateful for at this moment in your life. These can be simple but meaningful things. For example, the warmth and comfort of your home, the support of your loved ones, or the nice weather outside. Allow yourself to immerse in the state of gratitude and enjoy it.

- In the evening, before you go to bed, think about the past day. Remember three positive events that happened during the day - whether they were big events or small joys. For example, you had a great chat with a friend, tried a new dish in a cafe, watched a good movie, completed a task or just got through the day. Also allow yourself to feel gratitude for these moments.

For a better effect, write these things down as you think about them. It’s okay if you have a hard time feeling gratitude right away. Keep doing the practice on a regular basis and over time you may notice it feeling more natural.

● Reach out for support.

There’s something very healing in human connections and in knowing that we’re not alone in our struggles. Don't hesitate to reach out to close friends or family members you trust. Share your concerns and feelings with them. If there’s no one you can talk to, call a mental health helpline in your country. A person on the other line will listen empathetically and help you deal with these difficult emotions. It also can be helpful to search for local support groups where you can share your stories and talk about what’s bothering you in a safe environment. And if you feel like the stress is becoming too overwhelming, consider reaching out to a counselor or a therapist that will help you find the root of your problem and figure out ways to overcome it.

I hope these tips give you some ideas to make each day feel more manageable and less overwhelming. The key is to gently experiment with self-care strategies until you find what works for your needs. Feel free to share any other coping strategies that you find useful.

Has anyone ever experienced their body shutting down out of the blue, seemingly for no reason? Like you’re going through an attack, but it’s not how panic attacks are usually described (hyperventilation, breathing fast, etc.), it’s the opposite. It has happened about 5 times to me, always in the evening when I’m preparing for sleep or am lying in bed. I noticed it starts with this weird tingling feeling that I associate with intense physical efforts like running a marathon, when the last bits of energy are floating out of you and the body is preparing to get a deserved rest. But it doesn’t feel like drifting to sleep. My body sorta freezes while my mind is still fully awake and I can sorta watch my body from above. I can feel my breathing getting slower by the minute, and I instinctively begin to breathe through my mouth for fear of being choked from no oxygen. I try to keep my eyes open because I’m scared that if I fall asleep in such a state I’ll certainly die… Yet my brain is willing to go into sleep mode, which makes me fight with myself and fight with this terror that something’s wrong with my body. My vision gets blurry and my head lightheaded. If I try to get up and walk the room I can’t fully shake off the dizziness and extreme anxiety akin to panic (but again, not quite), the room sorta zooming away from me. I can’t describe it in any other way but tunnel vision as I can’t focus on anything in the room besides what’s right in front of me. My hearing gets muddied and I eventually have to sit back or lie down on the bed because otherwise I’ll pass out.

I’m seriously scared there might be something wrong, and not only with my mind. I wonder if this could be disassociation gone too far or some sort of a pre-stroke condition? It makes me dizzy and nauseated, and I’m scared to fall asleep for many more hours afterwards. The last time this happened during the day when I was about to lie down and watch movies for a couple of hours. Basically, it always happens when I’m about to relax, nothing seemingly worrying me, that’s why I’m positive it’s not a panic attack.

Can it be the body’s reaction to stress? The first two times when it happened I was staying with my stepparent who is going through rehabilitation after surgery, and those were super stressful days and nights. I thought it might be my body’s way to tell me it needs a rest or some medical help. However, I’m on antianxiety meds now, and it happened three more times since. I would really like it to go away, it scares the shit out of me. Am I the only one with these weird conditions??