Post
ra
rai_thegoat
1y ago

When will I be enough?

Warning: Sensitive Content


Hiii I'm Rai. I came here to write down my feelings since I have no one to share this with. I grew up in a toxic household where females experiencing discrimination. I'm an only daughter. I have two brothers, one is older and one is younger, in short I'm a middle child.


My mom and dad parted ways when I was born. I grew up with my grandparents comapany becaye my mom had to left us to her parents because she needs to work in order for us to live.


With my grandparents, I experienced physical abused. My grandma used to hit me with metal causing wounds and break bones. My grandma taught to be a fast-learner because if not, she will hit me again. A small mistake, is a big deal for her.


When I turned 7 years old, my grandma died. I was left alone with my brothers and my grandpa. That was when I started to seek for a female role model, a feminine energy sadly, I never get what I needed.


When I turned 7 years old my mom and dad got back together. I thought we would be happy but no. It became chaotic.


My family treated me like a trash. Funny how I expected them to treat me like a princess since I'm an only daughter but turns out, they're treating me like their yaya/nanny.


I'm also an academic achiever but my parents are not proud of me and they will never be proud of my achievements. For them, my grades are still low when in fact, I'm always in the dean's lister.


I remember when I bragged about my exam. I told them that I got the highest score in the class and they told me "as you should."


They never appreciate me, my hardworks and efforts. I did my best but it still wasn't enough for them. I'm so tired of proving myself to them. I'm always doing my best, I sacrificed my health but still, it's not enough. All they did was to humiliate me in public and bragged the things I have no control.


I'm so tired of fighting. I want to harm myself and cut my lines.


Specialist answer
Our free therapy courses to cope with depression
Dr. Elisabeth Jones
1y
Specialist

Hello, Rai! Unfortunately, many children endure violence in their families. I don’t think it could be justified. Nobody deserves to be treated badly by relatives, especially children. I understand that it is hard for you to live in this atmosphere. What can you do right now? First, stop proving something to your parents. They labeled you as a “bad child” for whatever reason and your achievements will never make them think differently. Stop trying proving things either to them or to yourself, you’re wasting your time and energy. Second, you should accept the fact that your parents’ attitude does not determine you as a person. If they think you’re “different” it doesn’t mean you are different. Objectively this is wrong. You have accomplishments, you’ve achieved a lot. You did a great job! All of us need attention, love and support from close people. Unfortunately, it is not always possible and you need to learn that waiting for this is pointless. Of course, it sounds unfair, but this is life.

So where can you find support then? First, it’s you. You are a very strong and determined person, you have enough resources to cope with this situation. Second, you can find support in anything you like, for example, hobbies or other things, which you’re interested in. Do something you like. This will both bring you positive emotions and distract from negative thinking. Third, there must be someone around you (at least one person) who treats you well, someone you trust. Someone who can support you. This can be your relative, a friend or even a school psychologist. Sometimes we really need help and support, so don’t be afraid of asking for it.

sh
shanaya
1y

Hey girl, I'm sorry to hear about what's happening, look if no one said this to you then hear it from me, you're a very very strong and intellectually smart woman and I'm proud of you, I understand it hurts when your own don't validate you enough, why don't you try expressing yourself strongly, why don't you sit one day and express how their behavior make you feel about yourself, maybe that'll help, but lemme tell you something very honestly, sometimes you have to stand alone and strong even against your family sometimes, if they're in the way of your bright future your dreams your mental health anything, you need to take stand for yourself, I know I completely get it, it hurts but what else will we do feel miserable for ourselves, cry about our lives no, god gave us this battle for a reason, and you need to win it, and not surrender in front of them, stand strong woman, you're inspiration to others, don't forget that

bu
bubu
1y

I personally feel so glad to see a woman like you who is so so good at her life, honey look, take this as a god's test, you're perfect, seriously I am not trying to flatter you, I mean it, you're perfect yet you have a family as such and surroundings as such, this is a clear lesson from god that no matter how perfect you are human nature is to always seek approval from others WHY?!?!?! you are brilliant why do you need to hear this from them, don't care no more, but yeah make sure you're respected and not harmed, rest does not matter, you're a queen already and you don't need a crowning ceremony from them to get approval, OKAY???

sh
shanahanwilmer454
1y

I really got goosebumps when i read ur life n tears in my eyes.....

U r dealing with a LOT.....

U r enough and u r doing your best... those persons just don't know your value.

U r the best and you are doing great in your life and we all know that you goona take your future to the nexy level.


I don't know what to say to make u feel better but for me......u r the worlds most hardworking and amazing person.🌟

We all are here for you🌟n believe me....u have the fighter spirit, just don't loose it....🥺...


ra
rai_thegoat
1y
Author

@Dr. Elisabeth Jones thank you so much!!🥺❤️

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