Let’s see how we can help. Why do you think it hurts? Is it loneliness that makes you feel unhappy? Are you living alone? Do you have any support system in the form of friends or family? Sorry for so many questions, I just need details ;)
@onewhiskyfor2 I think it hurts so bad because I’m so traumatized from past and present experiences and because of my depression and anxiety along with my ptsd that I’m suffering from. I’m also now dealing with a new medical diagnosis that’s overwhelming me and causing me to be in a dark place. I’m living with my mom. I only have my mom and someone online as my support.
@Dot dot You need to find a way out of that dark place. Never trust your mind. It will tell you all is bad, that you have no energy, that you need to lie down. I always believed my mind was not my enemy, and I could rely on it to “cooperate”. But ever since I faced mental issues, I've learned so many things… sometimes our mind is what makes us unhappy, not reality.
How are you loving yourself through all of it? Do you have daily routines, small things to make you smile?
@onewhiskyfor2 that’s very true our mind can definitely play tricks on us. I have a daily routine and do small things to make myself small but I still hurt so deeply.
@Dot dot Is there nothing at all that makes you feel better, at least in the moment?
Watching a movie or playing computer games? Walking in the park, doing tiny good things like feeding a stray cat or birds... When I was in therapy, we made a “happiness plan” for the day, which was like
1. Morning: listen to my fav music and do yoga for 20 minutes, make it 10 minutes if I feel too bad, but no less than that;
2. Buy myself a small gift (chocolate bar etc), allow a bigger one if I finished some work this day;
3. Mandatory walk in the park after work
etc…
Can we make such a plan for you?
@onewhiskyfor2 jjj yes a plan like that would work for me. Listening to music, and having conversations with people helps me. Reading helps as well along with watching my favorite shows and movies.
@Dot dot Do you think you could make such a plan for yourself for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and for the weekend? No need to share it with me if you don't want to. Just take paper and pen (or your mobile phone if you prefer digital) and write 3-5 (no less than 3) small "happiness tasks" that you must take care of doing for yourself tomorrow. I know my request may sound weird; it's a coping mechanism. It makes you get up and do those few things, and praise yourself that you could fulfill your plan. The feeling of crossing out those points is true magic. We need to start rewiring your neuron paths, it's a long process, and we need to start somewhere.
@onewhiskyfor2 I can try to make one tomorrow on my phone
@onewhiskyfor2 What a nice exercise! I've noticed many users here advise journaling as an official therapeutic recommendation? I'm curious if venting on paper is really that helpful?
@Zoe Ah, good question. My therapist asked me to start a gratitude journal… a long time ago… :) I can’t make myself do it on a regular basis, it takes too much time. A short happiness plan, on the other hand, is something I can scratch on a piece of paper in a minute. Some people say journaling tunes their minds to problem-solving. Once the brain gets free from some of the frustration, it switches into “What can I do about it” mode, kind of like with therapy.
Traumatic events makes it difficult for a person to get over the pain and feel safe again. when you cant process these emotions you felt for traumatic event its lead to ptsd as your nervous system gets stuck and you are unable to make sense of these emotions.
Therapy will help you a great deal with this. choose a therapist who has experience in dealing with trauma. along with it follow these strategies at home:
In times of emotional pain you can try thinking back to when you felt happier or any accomplishments you have achieved in life which made you happy. Thinking pf past accomplishments, moments which got us joy it will help in motivating our present situation. you can also write it down so when ever you feel depressed or low just read this which will help you to uplift your mood.
Try to do yoga or exercise for at least 30 min a day. you can start initially for 10 min and then move gradually. walking, swimming, yoga or dancing anything which you would enjoy doing it. While exercising you should try distracting your thought by focusing on your movement. Notice how does it feel when you move it, notice things around you, notice how does the ground feel, notice the rhythm of your breathing.
Exploring sensory experiences and awakening it will help you in calming yourself.
With ptsd you may feel helpless. you need to challenge this. start helping in an NGO or volunteer for any activity which brings you happiness, join a club. It is important to remember you have the strength and coping skills that can help you through tough times.
Healing from trauma takes time. Be patient with the pace of recovery.