A lot of the time, people hear “social media influencer” and think of brand ambassadors and celebrities. More often than not, people will also roll their eyes when said influencers complain about hardships they experience because content creation is often associated with entitled rich people who have no self-awareness or faces challenges like that of the average person. That’s understandable, but what a LOT of people don’t know is that being a content creator isn’t as luxurious as they believe.

There’s this misconception that EVERY social media influencer (or person with a platform) is “rich” or financially stable enough to survive off their earnings which is FALSE. How do I know? Because I’M a content creator and have been financially struggling even AFTER coming into a platform. My situation isn’t an isolated case, either. Statistically speaking, in order to be considered an “influencer”, a user must have 500K followers MINIMUM across their platforms, and I’m only a little less than half. Additionally, every sponsor is different. With my circumstances, I only receive 10% of commission IF a person uses my referral link and discount code during checkout.

I don’t have many sponsors but that’s for a reason. If I’m going to collaborate with a company, I do extreme research because I don’t want to promote a brand that’s harmful or negatively impacts the environment, community, etc. While my content is very versatile, I try to send the overall message of spread kindness, creativity and education.

I love being content creator because I have the opportunity to educate, entertain and encourage younger black and brown creatives with my content which is a personal mission statement I chose for myself, but the disadvantages make it exhausting. Platforms are constantly hiding black and brown creators content which means we have to work twice as hard. There’s also a lot of racism and discrimination within fandom spaces which is why I have comment filters enabled because every day I wake up, I have bigots calling me slurs. I have to deal with queer phobia, fetishising and other derogatory remarks. I have people assuming I’m “intimidating” because of my platform or believe I’m entitled because most media influencers are. Don’t even get me started on the defamation of character I experienced that started over another person’s envy.

I’m hesitant to collaborate with other creators because I’ve had to continuously disassociate with people who’ve been outed as abusers and predators in the recent past. I’m wary to befriend other creators because I’ve had people take advantage of my kindness and only see me for my platform and not as a person. After being DOXED by a former friend who was jealous I came into a platform, I acquired stalkers who TO THIS DAY, continue to harass me. It’s exhausting.

The anxiety inducing thing about it all is that the more my platform grows, the more my privacy shrinks. I’ve lost friends and relationship partners because of stalkers and people from my platform being invasive, prying into my private life even when it wasn’t publicised, and as a result I stopped sharing milestones of my recovery. I’m being recognised in public and other places I frequent which makes me fearful for my safety. I am not a celebrity or someone with extreme notoriety for me to experience any of this and it’s incredibly frustrating because when I try to be vulnerable about my frustrations, people downplay the seriousness of it.

I don’t know about anyone else, but it doesn’t feel good to vocalise distress about being followed and for a majority of responses to be, “That means you’re famous!” or “that’s so cool, I wish I had stalkers!” Yes I can delete and filter negative or derogatory comments, and yes I can disconnect and take breaks from media. I do it frequently to preserve my mental and emotional health. What I can’t do however is put the stalking to an end and pursue legal action to ensure that.

I don’t want to be hyper vigilant or over analytical of everything because that fear can deprive me of a lot of opportunities. I do my best to keep a clear mind and open heart but repeatedly experiencing traumatising situations in real time triggers me beyond belief. I love being a “social media influencer” but it’s exhausting.

I feel depressed...I can't even talk in public(like taking seminar, ..) when I look at others they are doing in a great way..then what happens in me..I don't know..I feel like Shivering,heartbeat increasing, no confidence in speaking and I am completely lost..I cry everyday..

I am a muslim girl from India studying in engineering college and currently in 2nd year. I have Social Anxiety from years , I am fed up of this and I am posting here since last 2 years and I am in same position from last year's , I have no improvement in my anxiety , I want to attend public speaking classes , but there is no classes here with this. I want to improve myself. I gave exams of 3rd sem , last exam was on 7th dec , after my holidays started , and my college will start from 30th dec , and I am in anxiety from starting of my holidays and my anxiety just increase because we are having our director of the college as our subject teacher , she will teach us one subject from this sem , thinking about this really making me anxious. She is very strict about timings , uniforms etc. I don't wear uniform and wear a burkha and cover my face with a mask because of two reasons that we have to cover ourselves in our religion and due to my anxiety.

I don't have any problem with the first one but now because our director will teach us , she will only allow us with uniform, she said we are only allowed to wear a stole not more than that , not a face mask too , its really making me stressed , anxious and what not. I will not comfortable without the mask because I can hide my expressions, my anxiety. I @m thinking that people will judge my looks , my appearance and I am an fat , overweight girl, I will not look good in the uniform , the uniform we have to wear is shirt and jeans or t shirt. Everyone will make fun of me , and it's not only in my head , may be some of them really make fun of me , I have saw that , the attendance we have to maintained above 75 in a single subject. I cannot bunk my classes too , last time I have avoided my presentation, I have posted that problem too , this time it's more serious, I was thinking that I should leave this but my parents have already paid so much of their money , they will get so dissappoint. I can't do this too because it will spoil my future too and I don't want to play with my future but what can I do. Is there any idea that I can reduce my social anxiety within one week.

How can I attend classes this sem without warring my burkha and a mask, how can I answer the questions if any faculty asked me in front of everyone especially without a mask. I have no confidence in myself. It takes me so much time for me to relax in the class. If any faculty said that we have to explain or etc , my body start to shiver , I get lost in my overthinking zone. I can't speak this to my parents too , they already have so much stress and I don't want to give them another. Please help me to overcome this. There is so much that I am dealing in my life but it will get too long here.

I am 20 years female , and I am in my 4th sem , I wear a burkha and a mask and from this sem , all have to attend classes for 75% attendance with proper uniforms that is shirts and pants , I am fat overweight girl I have to attend classes but thisy fucking anxiety don't make me to do it. I am ready to attend classes in uniforms but I am scared that what if someone make fun of me , I have no friends , no one sits beside me and without maks I will be so uncomfortable because of my anxiety , the anxious persons makes so weird awkward expressions and I am scared that what if someone saw this , that's the reason I wear a mask, I am trying my best to be regular but end up in sitting at libraries. My appearance already highlights me in my class and all the prof have an eye on me. My parents thinks I am attending my classes regularly.

I know everyone will tell it's all in my head , but it looks very hard to believe this. All students in my class are so confident, I am an only muslim girl in my class. I am already a year back students. I am really really fed up of life , myself. It's getting so hard for me.I am thinking to change my department but no one will gonna take me now , and my department's will not gonna give me tc. I was ready to attend classes today but I got late.

To whom I am telling this fucking issue , they are telling, it's ok , nothing will happen , at least you should go , I know they are not telling wrong , but if it was that easy for me I would have done it few days before , they will all not gonna know until they have experience it. Due to this I have constant anxiety in my mind , I can't sit at least for 2 minutes peacefully , whenever I try to relax or sit , I recall how should I do it before , I should have attended classes from starting , now what will gonna happen , if they saw my anxiety , I just don't want to look anxious in front of my class , don't want to get insulted , I wish I could go in the past...

I am fed up. I am fed up 😔