A lot of the time, people hear “social media influencer” and think of brand ambassadors and celebrities. More often than not, people will also roll their eyes when said influencers complain about hardships they experience because content creation is often associated with entitled rich people who have no self-awareness or faces challenges like that of the average person. That’s understandable, but what a LOT of people don’t know is that being a content creator isn’t as luxurious as they believe.

There’s this misconception that EVERY social media influencer (or person with a platform) is “rich” or financially stable enough to survive off their earnings which is FALSE. How do I know? Because I’M a content creator and have been financially struggling even AFTER coming into a platform. My situation isn’t an isolated case, either. Statistically speaking, in order to be considered an “influencer”, a user must have 500K followers MINIMUM across their platforms, and I’m only a little less than half. Additionally, every sponsor is different. With my circumstances, I only receive 10% of commission IF a person uses my referral link and discount code during checkout.

I don’t have many sponsors but that’s for a reason. If I’m going to collaborate with a company, I do extreme research because I don’t want to promote a brand that’s harmful or negatively impacts the environment, community, etc. While my content is very versatile, I try to send the overall message of spread kindness, creativity and education.

I love being content creator because I have the opportunity to educate, entertain and encourage younger black and brown creatives with my content which is a personal mission statement I chose for myself, but the disadvantages make it exhausting. Platforms are constantly hiding black and brown creators content which means we have to work twice as hard. There’s also a lot of racism and discrimination within fandom spaces which is why I have comment filters enabled because every day I wake up, I have bigots calling me slurs. I have to deal with queer phobia, fetishising and other derogatory remarks. I have people assuming I’m “intimidating” because of my platform or believe I’m entitled because most media influencers are. Don’t even get me started on the defamation of character I experienced that started over another person’s envy.

I’m hesitant to collaborate with other creators because I’ve had to continuously disassociate with people who’ve been outed as abusers and predators in the recent past. I’m wary to befriend other creators because I’ve had people take advantage of my kindness and only see me for my platform and not as a person. After being DOXED by a former friend who was jealous I came into a platform, I acquired stalkers who TO THIS DAY, continue to harass me. It’s exhausting.

The anxiety inducing thing about it all is that the more my platform grows, the more my privacy shrinks. I’ve lost friends and relationship partners because of stalkers and people from my platform being invasive, prying into my private life even when it wasn’t publicised, and as a result I stopped sharing milestones of my recovery. I’m being recognised in public and other places I frequent which makes me fearful for my safety. I am not a celebrity or someone with extreme notoriety for me to experience any of this and it’s incredibly frustrating because when I try to be vulnerable about my frustrations, people downplay the seriousness of it.

I don’t know about anyone else, but it doesn’t feel good to vocalise distress about being followed and for a majority of responses to be, “That means you’re famous!” or “that’s so cool, I wish I had stalkers!” Yes I can delete and filter negative or derogatory comments, and yes I can disconnect and take breaks from media. I do it frequently to preserve my mental and emotional health. What I can’t do however is put the stalking to an end and pursue legal action to ensure that.

I don’t want to be hyper vigilant or over analytical of everything because that fear can deprive me of a lot of opportunities. I do my best to keep a clear mind and open heart but repeatedly experiencing traumatising situations in real time triggers me beyond belief. I love being a “social media influencer” but it’s exhausting.

Hello there, I’ve been getting mental health therapy for almost a year, it has been helpful.

My current problem is all the extra weight I’ve suddenly gained. I’ve always been average / thin. My eating habits have not changed, so I’m not even sure I chose the right category to post in! I might have begun eating *a little* bit more sweets and energy bars, but I’m a vegetarian. My diet is very healthy. I am eating sugar and carbs, but no more than before. People online say it’s not possible to gain weight on these meds unless I’m eating more.

Right now I literally have to make a choice: either to significantly reduce the intake of tasty foods and go on a very strict diet, or to quit my meds (an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer).

Has anyone gone through a similar situation? I want to stop taking my meds because my body is out of control, and I don’t want to count calories. This development is more damaging than my anxiety and depression. I used to be able to eat anything and stay the same weight. I’d rather be unhappy than fat, honestly. I already feel my anxiety coming back every time I look in the mirror.

I never expected my life to be like this. I'm living in one of the most expensive areas in the world. I'm struggling to pay half of my rent, and I'm single with no prospects of that changing. I just exist, and I don't have anything to give or become. 

I don't have big dreams, but I would like to have a small family. I'd like to have a wife and two kids, and a modest home in an okay neighborhood. But, I can't even do that. I'm feeling nervous and I want more, but I know it would take a lot of hard work and effort. Just to be slightly above average, I'd have to work incredibly hard and risk my health. 

It's been 10 years since I graduated high school, and I feel like I haven't grown up a day since 18. I'm still in the same place I was all those years ago.

TL;DR : I have trauma but i am the only one who can support my family, my family have problem with each other, my 2 brothers is unemployed at age 35 and my parents want them to look for a job. I need suggestion about path that i choose, do i ask my 2 brother to left house to gamble if they can look for a job, if fail then it will worsen my mother health. do i stay home but it will eat up my mental health and worsen my trauma? or should i go on a journey and left everything behind?

First thing first, let me introduce my family. me male 21 yo, have 3 brothers (35 yo male, 35 yo male, 40+ yo male), my mother is 59+ yo and my father is 65+ yo. Lets start off from me, I am a final year university student pursuing IT bachelor degree. I have a job with average salary, and have 2 another side job that didn't really pay much. fortunatelly my job is online (IT job and teaching assistant). I have my own share of physical and verbal traume from elementary to high school, from being gank up and beaten up by lot of students, one school and the teachers avoid me because i am "different" and others. Of course i still got the side effect from it, like chest pain, severe anxiety, severe shaking, etc, but i have been having this side effect too long and now i am kinda can hold it off (but not too long).

for my father, he has some dark past like gambling, leaving my mother and my brothers, etc (I only heard the story from my mother and my brothers). but recently my father is kinda responsible and want to fix things up, problem is he still have some pride, and doesnt want to show that he is sorry up front by saying it but only want to do it through his action like helping around.

My mother, supposedly traumatized by my father past, she really hate him. recently my mother always starting up fight because he suspect my father do some stuff and always reminding my father about his past, of course my father denied it. I dont know who to believe honestly, but what i know from my own analyzing is both of them is right and wrong. but my mother is having bad though about my father so she always starting up fight over small problem, though my father isn't so innocent because he sometime hide stuff to buy smoke. honestly i dont know which side is right.

now for my oldest brother, he is the sole income of our family. my father is retired and having lot of debts from the past, so my brother always fill up the money problem. sadly recently my oldest brother got cancer, after 2 years fighting it, he is dead. the last year of his medication, i was helping him plus giving economy support from my recent job. To the point i need to lent some money from credit card, but its not so much (max is my 1-2 months salary) so yeah i can recover. Note that at this point i still fresh learning about my job and i must do my own thesis, and luckily my team for thesis have their own share of problem (my teammate is gone, i cant contact them). so me helping my brother can be said because i cant go on for my thesis because i cant fill my team task. after my brother died, i can contact 1 of my friend (from 2) and he agreed to help but still has its own problem. after some months gone i finally can finish my thesis and in february i will be graduating. The way to finish my thesis is really though, i must babysit my friend so he doesn't give up and left again. Okay back to my oldest brother, because he is gone now i must be the one who will be the sole income of my family. such irony tho, i just got some job and i must help my brother medication then i must support my family.

now for my 2 brothers who is twin, they are 35 yo and they are unemployed with 0 experience. At this day in my country it is impossible to look for a job, and dont start recommending me to ask them to start their own job because they have pride and dont want to do low people job. i tried to tell them but always failed because i am the youngest and i cant handle conflict too much (side effect of my trauma and past). my parents is ashamed because of this and want me to help them look for a job, and its freaking impossible because i cant order them, i only can give them some pointer and THEY DIDN'T DO IT PROPERLY, THEY ONLY DO IT SO THEY LOOK LIKE THEY ARE TRYING. There is no fking way they will get a job with their attitude, their criteria, and especially their 0 skill and experience.

My mother gotten really sick these past months, especially after my oldest brother dying. my 2 brothers not having a job been a problem to my parents because my parents is ashamed, plus the impact of my oldest brother dying. Now that i almost finished my study, i have path that i must choose. before that let me explain the relationship between my family, lets split my 2 brothers into A and B. so my mother is having a bad relationship with my father and she said herself that she cant live with my father alone. My father is having bad relationship with A because some religious stuff, A and B have problem with each other, and i have problem with B because my brother frame me of something i didnt do, at first i didnt do anything because of i dont want to cause a scene in front of my parents but after that i got the after effect of it by having bad dream about it (everyone know tho if B is framing me, they didnt help me because B is really hysterical and its easier if i back down). do note tho i dont really have good relationship with A.

Now for a path i can choose, or maybe the path that i can think right now :

1. Act as a Villain, ask both of my brother to leave or i dont support the economy. doing so will gamble if my brother left the house then they will be forced to look for a job, or if they fail then it will worsen my mother health. I can try to cover it up, but i dont know how far i can cover it up.
2. Stay home, do nothing, only interfere when conflict happenning or try to do something? i dont know. One thing i know that it will eat my personality, my mental health, i must act as a saint and let my brothers bully me so he wont become hysteric.
3. Left house, goes on journey to cure my trauma. problem is i only have limited money, i dont know if i have enough money to go on journey, cure myself up, plus supporting my family. And i dont know what happen if i left my family alone.

I know i left lot out detail in here, feel free to ask if you want and i will try to answer. Looking forward to any suggestion, Thanks!