Parting with the ones we love is the hardest part of life. I’m sorry for your loss. But we won’t forget them. And what’s more important is to not forget how to love others. Take care!
Thank you for sharing with us. The woman you loved is gone physically from this world, but she lives on in your heart. And she will live on in her son and the memories of everyone who knew her. I hope you’ll find the courage to open your heart again. I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but please know that you deserve love and may meet someone who’ll love you as strongly as you loved this person.
It hurts, I’m sorry. I imagine it’s hard thinking about what it could have been… Good that you got this off your chest instead of keeping it bottled up. I know there’s little comfort in words, just treasure the memories.
My heart goes out to you. As the saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Accept a hug from a stranger ~~
I know how hard it is loving someone even when you know there’s no chance you can ever be with them again. However, love doesn't stop when the ones we love are no longer here. Whatever comes next, I hope you will find happiness in life.
@Minty4Uninteresting Thank you for taking the time to read my post ❤️ It means a lot to have someone listen
@Anna Salmina I was not present at her funeral. It was so sudden. Thank you for all your suggestions. I like the idea of writing a letter, very old-school. I think she'd like that.
I'm very sorry. It must have been devastating to discover that someone who meant so much to you, and whom you had strong and lasting feelings for, has passed away. It's understandable that it brought thoughts of what could have been. Knowing there are words you wanted to say but can't anymore can make it even harder to let go. Grief can be a long process, and it's important to take your time to process these feelings.
Even though you haven't been in a romantic relationship, your feelings were real. Take as much time as you need to feel your emotions and mourn this loss. There are various ways to do it - by crying, writing down everything in a journal including your regrets, externalizing your feelings through art like music, drawing, or writing poems. It can be helpful to write her a letter expressing what she made you feel throughout the time that you've known her and how it feels to lose her. After finishing the letter, you can do what you like with it, such as sealing it in an envelope and putting it somewhere safe. The idea is to let any bottled-up emotions out, verbalising them and making them part of your own story. It's also crucial to have someone you trust to talk to during this time, as grief is best managed through connections. You don't have to deal with this on your own.
Remember that it's never too late to honor her. If possible, think of ways to pay your last respects, like visiting a memorial or leaving flowers somewhere associated with her. Focus on what you gained from this connection and experience, such as believing in love and striving to become a better person. Reevaluate your values and consider applying what you learned to your life. For example, if you appreciated her kindness, consider showing acts of kindness as well, like donating to a charity. Or perhaps, it'd be important to you to express your feelings to your loved ones more often.
You may have a lot of regret and blame yourself for not opening up about your feelings, but it's important to recognize that the choices you made back then were based on the knowledge and circumstances at that time. For example, as you said, you were afraid to lose the friendship, which means you must have valued it deeply. You couldn't possibly know she would be gone so soon, and there were external circumstances as well, like her getting married. Try looking at the reality of the situation and show compassion towards yourself. Healing takes time, but it gets easier.
when you lose a loved one, the loss and grief you feel can be deep. You might feel sad, lost without the person. It would take time to heal just be patient with yourself.
Find ways to express your emotions and thoughts. Notice the thoughts that come and go. You can write it in journal sharing details about her, memories you shared with her, what you liked about her. if you have any photo just paste that in the journal. write down what you could not express. It would help you out expressing the emotions you are feeling, say things you wish you had said, thank her for making you believe in love, thank her for being a better man now. Give yourself time to reflect everyday and pen down all your thoughts. By creating a memorabilia (in form of journal or album) you can always look back into it.
When you lose a person whom you love many thoughts start crossing in your mind "why did this happen", "wish i could have told her this", "how can i cope now with this unspoken words"
Asking these questions to yourself is a chance to get a new insight. Grief can lead you to find a new message and purpose. It can prompt you to think how to make most of your life and now what matters most to you. reflect on this things it would be helpful.
it is natural to keep having these feelings and questions for a while.
It is good you have created your own letting go ritual so through this platform you are able to communicate and explicitly say your heart out. See if you can do this with any of your close friend. Just share your memories of her with your friend. This way you are honouring the memory of the person whom you love in your life.
Your love for her would always remain in your heart, in your thoughts, memories and positive effect she had in your life.