I worked for a government agency and was quite happy with my job. It happened that I became close to a girl and supported her in her work. I wanted to be a hero in her eyes. And I was! She looked at me literally as an idol and a meter of the profession. I explained and showed her everything. Yeah, I liked her! What's the big deal? I was the "soul of the team", and after her appearance colleagues began to actively jealous. I didn't spend much time with them anymore. The conflict was escalating and I was "growing wings" because of the girl's admiring eyes. One day I had a fight with the team I was working with. In the course of the conflict, I said that if I continued to be pressured like this, I would leave. "Where will you go? Who needs you?" said one of my colleagues. It was at lunchtime. I was savagely hurt by that phrase. I started looking at job postings at lunchtime. Emotionally, of course. My girlfriend said, looking at me admiringly: "You should go straight to being a director. Now I'm gonna have to get a director's job for her. I found a vacancy for a director and called there, sending my resume. The manager answered that just today, in a couple of hours, the final interview would begin. And if I want to be on time, I have to come today and it's actually unlikely, because the director has already been seen, but the interview with other candidates will still be. I really wanted to go. The urge to quit my job on the same day was wild with resentment. I told the girl that I was going for an interview and she was happy. I told my coworkers when I left work that I was going to a new job. They were surprised, but they also looked incredulous. Something like "you are angry, calm down and come back tomorrow". When I walked into the office for the interview, the manager said the interview was coming to an end and there was no point in me coming in anymore. What? I started pushing through. Saying everything I could think of, putting pressure on them. The girl got upset and ran to her supervisor. Apparently, her story to Naalstvo was emotional and I was invited to come in. I met the owner of the business and was so convincing that .....They chose ME! I didn't doubt it, I felt like a pro! All the office managers were shocked. As I found out later, a director had actually been chosen for the office beforehand, but the owner didn't like him very much. But the whole staff did. That's why they wouldn't let me go to the interview. And that's when I burst in and broke through. The owner of the company said that he was looking for just such a "punchy" person and he liked the way I went to the closed interview. The decision was made. And I was told to fire the entire staff and hire a new one. Can you imagine the eyes of the female employees who wouldn't let me in??? But most important to me were my girlfriend's eyes, shining and telling me "I knew you were the best." Needless to say, when I came to quit my previous job the next day, my colleagues were shocked and asked me to stay...but it didn't matter to me anymore.. So, believing in myself I did the impossible...And the businessman who took me on as director later told everyone "I found a diamond in the rough"

My body is exhausted, my mind is foggy, and my heart feels heavy. I wake up every morning around 5am feeling like I've been hit by a truck. I'm 30, but some days I feel like I've not lived at all. Living with PTSD has made every day a battle, I struggle to just hold on and keep going. The trauma from my past haunts me every waking moment. The memories creep into my thoughts when I least expect it, triggering anxiety and panic attacks, especially in the morning. I'm constantly on edge, waiting for the next nightmare to come to life while I’m having morning toast with coffee. Trusting people I want to get close to feels impossible, and I'm always second-guessing their intentions. It's like I'm living in a never-ending nightmare of family abuse, and there's no escape. The nights are the worst. My stepfather used sleep deprivation as a form of punishment, and I have crippling insomnia reminding me of those horrible days when I slept for two hours each night. Sleep is a luxury and my worst enemy. I toss and turn, haunted by nightmares and flashbacks that leave me drenched in sweat and gasping for air. I can't sleep for more than 3-4 hours, and even that is plagued by restlessness and fear. The exhaustion weighs me down, making it even harder to face the day ahead. I've tried therapy and medication, but it's been impossible to find the right support. It feels like I'm fighting this battle alone, with no end in sight. I can’t even sleep with someone in the same room, and I’ll never be able to share a bed with another person. The constant fatigue and sleep deprivation only make it harder to cope with my symptoms. If I could get at least a week's worth of decent sleep, I think most of my symptoms would get better. How do I break free from this?

i can't stop gambling. i always end up back on these stupid sites. i feel like i have no control over it, and it's ruining my life. every day, i wake up telling myself that today will be the day i finally break free from this addiction. but i always end up back in the same trap. i've lost so much money, and i'm in so much debt. i don't know how to get out of this mess. there's no way out or hope for me anymore, i'm so done

A lot of the time, people hear “social media influencer” and think of brand ambassadors and celebrities. More often than not, people will also roll their eyes when said influencers complain about hardships they experience because content creation is often associated with entitled rich people who have no self-awareness or faces challenges like that of the average person. That’s understandable, but what a LOT of people don’t know is that being a content creator isn’t as luxurious as they believe.

There’s this misconception that EVERY social media influencer (or person with a platform) is “rich” or financially stable enough to survive off their earnings which is FALSE. How do I know? Because I’M a content creator and have been financially struggling even AFTER coming into a platform. My situation isn’t an isolated case, either. Statistically speaking, in order to be considered an “influencer”, a user must have 500K followers MINIMUM across their platforms, and I’m only a little less than half. Additionally, every sponsor is different. With my circumstances, I only receive 10% of commission IF a person uses my referral link and discount code during checkout.

I don’t have many sponsors but that’s for a reason. If I’m going to collaborate with a company, I do extreme research because I don’t want to promote a brand that’s harmful or negatively impacts the environment, community, etc. While my content is very versatile, I try to send the overall message of spread kindness, creativity and education.

I love being content creator because I have the opportunity to educate, entertain and encourage younger black and brown creatives with my content which is a personal mission statement I chose for myself, but the disadvantages make it exhausting. Platforms are constantly hiding black and brown creators content which means we have to work twice as hard. There’s also a lot of racism and discrimination within fandom spaces which is why I have comment filters enabled because every day I wake up, I have bigots calling me slurs. I have to deal with queer phobia, fetishising and other derogatory remarks. I have people assuming I’m “intimidating” because of my platform or believe I’m entitled because most media influencers are. Don’t even get me started on the defamation of character I experienced that started over another person’s envy.

I’m hesitant to collaborate with other creators because I’ve had to continuously disassociate with people who’ve been outed as abusers and predators in the recent past. I’m wary to befriend other creators because I’ve had people take advantage of my kindness and only see me for my platform and not as a person. After being DOXED by a former friend who was jealous I came into a platform, I acquired stalkers who TO THIS DAY, continue to harass me. It’s exhausting.

The anxiety inducing thing about it all is that the more my platform grows, the more my privacy shrinks. I’ve lost friends and relationship partners because of stalkers and people from my platform being invasive, prying into my private life even when it wasn’t publicised, and as a result I stopped sharing milestones of my recovery. I’m being recognised in public and other places I frequent which makes me fearful for my safety. I am not a celebrity or someone with extreme notoriety for me to experience any of this and it’s incredibly frustrating because when I try to be vulnerable about my frustrations, people downplay the seriousness of it.

I don’t know about anyone else, but it doesn’t feel good to vocalise distress about being followed and for a majority of responses to be, “That means you’re famous!” or “that’s so cool, I wish I had stalkers!” Yes I can delete and filter negative or derogatory comments, and yes I can disconnect and take breaks from media. I do it frequently to preserve my mental and emotional health. What I can’t do however is put the stalking to an end and pursue legal action to ensure that.

I don’t want to be hyper vigilant or over analytical of everything because that fear can deprive me of a lot of opportunities. I do my best to keep a clear mind and open heart but repeatedly experiencing traumatising situations in real time triggers me beyond belief. I love being a “social media influencer” but it’s exhausting.